R.i.p. Francis

Reflexive points on human ceisures and comas,a close relative has had and i.

 Part One:

A minute or two from now, the darkness will encumber

The loss of all senses and knowledge of reality are often soothing,

The feeling that you know nothing except that you are alive,

And that your senses once were but no longer are.

 

To fall over and smash into the concrete, like a puppet into slumber,

The gaining of peace, piece by piece is never a “choosing”,

The sense that no one knows you are still alive,

And that you were once great and alive but no longer are.

 

To see such beauty at once is often overwhelming,

The eternal bliss, the eternal darkness that overcomes your perception

Your senses are no longer useful to you, you have become metaphysical.

The doors knocked on the subject as they exclaimed “People are strange, when you’re a stranger”.

Aren’t we all…

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Part Two:

As the sandtimer breaks like a wave of water 
I wait and pray for the change of time like an altar.
The paradoxical levels between the apex and the bismal
Remind me of how i used to think of life as mystical

A mystical force plays its powers upon me
Ironic how the Romantics once were and now are no longer
Perhaps i am to die silently
Or roar through the streets like a warmonger

Dreams that once were dreams
Are now horrible nightmares of truth
Unending firy pits and screams
Would be nightmares that soothe.
No, these nightmares are real
The masses deny and the particulars laugh,
They are the ones who create the ideal.
I shall disappear in no longer than a year and a half.

Author's Note

Forgive the shortness of this piece, aswell as the very strange structure. It was all written this morning at 5 after some terrible news had arrived. Please do give as critical feedback as you can, would be appreciated. *edit -> part two's structure is purposefully disjuncted and messy.

Reviews

[MsJewel]

I'm so sorry it was horrible news that inspired this dark, emotional piece of writing. It truly is a masterpiece. You have taken this reader to a place I have never been - nor imagined. Seriously you gave me goosebumps.
Outstanding writing!
:) Julie

[James Hades]

Thank you! I've just added Part Two. I am happy to have taken you to such a place through writing :)

[Julie Spade]

I sensed the emotion in full force and I must say it brings me great sadness yet to make a masterpiece you must have deep emotion and those news surely brought it out ! Thank you for this masterpiece! Keep going :)

[wordman]

the poem and structure of it was well written and prepared very well it`s bad when tragedy brings this type of poem in to play but all poetry is written on emotions some bad some good

[Sue Hart]

I felt the emotional tugging. I'm sorry that a storm of news has caused your world to shake. The knowledge at the end that a disappearance is inevitable is jolting to anyone.

[Enigma]

Part one definitely made me feel a bit.. sad on a deeper level of meaning of the word. I wasn't upset, it just gave me the overall feeling of sadness. But I was also inspired by this specifically because the words and the meaning behind the piece were relate able to my mindset and how I perceive. It was a beautiful piece and I certainly enjoyed reading every bit of it. I am deeply sorry for whatever inspired you to write such a saddening piece, and I do hope everything gets better.

Much love xo

[Marcy Chavez]

I'm sorry about the horrible news. Sometimes the saddest and most unexpected things and turns in life are the ones that inspire us to write and get it out from our chest, mind and heart. And somehow the relief feeling you got is amazing. These words you wrote are deep and honest, spoken from the heart. Your mind way to express words can not be spoken other way, and the silent words the heart says to us. If that makes sense.
I also have the feeling this is kind of about depression, how you can lost interest in things you once loved and your feelings can go numb. You don't even know who you are and you don't even know who others think you are. You simply lost yourself in the process of the mind dealing with reality. I think all of us have been there more than once.
Nice writing.

[James Hades]

It feels good to know that you recognised my loss of sensation to the world after the "mind dealing with reality". your review is spot on in terms of meaning :) thanks!

[ehleesahT]

Beautiful piece of work. I felt taken in by your words. Best wishes to you, keep writing. You're great.