My Anxiety

A Poem by CourtneyHuff

Of what am I? Or what could I be? This mess of me; the monster in flesh of consumption cutting my minds inner most thought’s. Perhaps the tie shall be swift at once; not to bother again. And what so? If per chance the darkness may persist? Forth whence it came, I will always carry the blame. From the moment the door was awoken, my soul grew to the bond; held captive in the severance of light to the tango through the flame of the unknown. The sweetest of silhouette's to trace my whole form, grown from the purity of the darkness itself. One swift move to my being, at just a minimal chance to be; sought after the life I hold within, the new captive to be. Grasping to hold my breath, of this creature, my lungs may surely collapse. Shallowed heart of the unworthy, beat of a rapid queue, by the time of my fear; controlling all I can to make it another day in the life. Caught by the strands of this last breath; give in again for the time to go under. Speak not a word for my allowance of comprehension stands at a halt; forgive the shadow of my enemy for we have become one. I shall close my eyes one last, but the cranial capacity to need the truth cannot bare to part. In due time I will surely be no more; just a mass of this unwanted entity. Lord grant it the strength I no longer possess. For I fade as this piece completes, giving way for the hallow body through the eyes of my captor. And all the tales that lye behind my feet, now crumble under the power of this invisible assassin. Locked away in this hell, I never know to laugh or scream; to fretful of this impossible truth, I dare not make a sound. Though, Quiet as I may lie here, do note the wailing plead of my mind within; wishing, again, a dear moment of freedom. With all the colors in the world, of mine to come, midnight’s eve of my days had to be my end. It’s tongue is fire as it whispers sweet fears to me at night; emitting it’s ways through my very veins. For shall I speak of it now, for glares of disbelief to return. This time has taken all that I possess within my very core; I can no longer believe in myself to be. But she cannot die either. More so, she, or be it me if that is who I’m to be, a beautiful shell of the hollow fright left to the carnage of my mind. For in my visions of the dark night have left my broken; stabbing trough this heart destroying my core. Pleading to escape before the day breaks, I shall only fall more. Cry not for me, it’s far too late. Even now the guiding light drags my last breath deeper beneath the surface; drowning in my own mind. Not to run nor face the day of light, who am I to defy what truly lies wrong? Hold me tight, this night, as for the rest of the life you stole. It is now yours. The blues of light I once held in visions now stained by the shadows; it’s hungry, angry and surely to swallow me. So at last, I shall hold my breath in the crypt, awaiting the doom to complete; compelling my soul no more. From whence it came; I am not to be again.