My Older Sister

is missed

did what she wanted.  

She fell in love

with a boy who had a brown pony-tail

that fell down his shoulders

and who she could wrap around her fingers.

She rode on the back of his motorcycle,

unpinned tangled charcoal curls.

She taught me the most important things

on accident. Like when you run over a traffic cone yell

s**t don’t tell mom drive away fast make sure the baby’s buckled in quick turn around there’s a cop put on your seatbelt.

My older sister

looks like my father

eyes so blue you can’t argue with her

you just have to laugh and agree.

Her smile is full

of crooked teeth that make people smile back

Because her twisted fenceposts are so charming.

Her freckled hand holds my own

she whispers secrets like

please don’t tell mom I sent her the money I know I shouldn’t have but she needed it and she’s our sister I had to help.

My older sister

tells me I’m the favorite,

but I know better.

Because my mother’s smile stretches when she speaks

and my father’s laughter follows her.

And I will dance across the shiny wooden floor

clumsy and rushed my own smile cracking my cheeks

eager to greet her

and she will hug me and say

I won’t tell mom about that hickey but you had better tell me I’ve missed you so much if you don’t share that brownie you’re in so much trouble welcome home.