This A#$hole Kitten

Inspired by a funny chat I had with Shelley Holt-Lowrey. She sent me a pic of a cute kitten and called the kitten an a*****e. I think its a challenge to destroy something so cute. for no reason haaha

This a*****e kitten
Is really getting on my nerves
When I'm mad at the world
He just purrs
I get pissed off
When he ignores my calls
and just sharpens his claws
When I come home from work
He just yawns
and plays with his ball of yarns
When i try to pet him
He runs away
and hides under the couch
He only comes out
When he sees a mouse
But he's a lousy hunter
He's useless
Like a bunter
He is only sweet
when it's time to eat
and when I give him treats
But when I have no food
He gets in a foul mood
He gets pissed
And he starts to hiss
If he dies he will not be missed
This kitten is an a*****e
he also s***s outside of the litter box
He does that a lot
To get under my skin
He hides behind his cuteness
But underneath there's a darkness
Lurking inside
That why he hides
Under the chair
When I walk by
He attacks
And scratches my feet
I admit defeat
Don't be fooled by his tricks
He's a dick
Don't be fooled by his cute eyes
If he has his way, you will die
So beware when I tell you
Do not be smitten
By this evil kitten

Author's Note

this my cat. R.I.P. Cholo....he was being a jerk. playing with my toothbrush :P

Reviews

[Destinyxi]

Ahahahaha that's funny as hell. I have a cat, she's... 14 years old. Lazy but adorable. She has a mean streak too. I think every living thing does. Keep it up, I look forward to your poems.

[Crazy Cat Man]

im gonna print out a pic of the kitten and recite this poem at a club :P i wonder how they will react

[Destinyxi]

Sounds like a plan :P

[Crazy Cat Man]

u gotta see this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M

[Destinyxi]

oh my goddd that suits the poem so well!! Hahaha link it to the poem NOW!

[Crazy Cat Man]

haha perhaps i should..........yes poor Henri ...such a depressed kitty. u should see parts 1 and 3 lol..i love how he hates the happy white cat lol

[Destinyxi]

haha aww, why's he hating on a white cat?

[Crazy Cat Man]

he;s jealous of the white cat's happiness lol

[Destinyxi]

hahaha poor black kitty x.x

[Crazy Cat Man]

I wonder if there are really people getting mad at this? if they are wow im surprised hahahaha :P

[Marie]

Sometimes it's the owner not the pet.

[eglantine]

hahaha, I have a kitty and she's pretty much not a normal cat. She is the sweetest thing ever

[Baby Ricochet]

That was f**King hilarious!!!!! Laugh out loud funny!!! HA!!!

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

Dumb stupid cat. Cute dumb stupid cat.

[~]

I am so torn between laughing my a*s off right now and being so mad that you are such a jerk to this poor little kitten! Look at that face...gee whiz......

[Crazy Cat Man]

I know thats the point :P i just wanted to write a silly piece that makes no sense :P just wanted to see a cute image then destroy it and make it evil lol

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

GREAT - remind me of this a lot... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qit3ALTelOo

[Crazy Cat Man]

love it

[Crazy Cat Man]

have u seen this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Very cute!

[Crazy Cat Man]

poor Henri :( he suffers so much lol

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Tee hee!

[That_Girl]

lol never been a cat person at all.... so this was hilariously true in my POV! ;) Well done!

[afra]

naaa kittens are really cute they cant be evil

[Owlgirl]

I agree, I have two and even when they mess up we just snuggle them.

[afra]

aww you are so lucky ...

[Owlgirl]

Frodo and Samzie are my personal Lol Cats xD

[Crazy Cat Man]

Hahaha I just wanted to write a silly piece :P I'm a cat person. I actually have 2 cat tattoos :P I might get another

[Owlgirl]

Rlly? Wow! Go cats!

[Crazy Cat Man]

Cholo and Bindi are on my arm :P my nickname is The Man With the Cat Tattoos :P

[Owlgirl]

That is epic!

[afra]

if you love cat then its okay ....no one should be mean to cats