Raping My Eardrums

A poem about a dumb girl who keeps calling and talking about her dating problems. I'm like why do you keep calling me. I told her that she's easy and needs to stop calling me.

You are raping my eardrums
When you call and talk about dumbstuff
I really had enough
I'm trying to be nice
You never really listen to my advice
You are worse than lice
You keep talking about the same things
Like you want a wedding ring
Because you're almost 30
You can't stop talking about babies
I'm like please
I had enough of these
Stupid phone calls
You never call to say anything good
I have no idea why I still listen to you
Oh yeah, it's because you're kind of cute
Now the site of you makes me puke
Next time you call me and complain about your ex
I'll just say hey you wanna have sex
If you're awnswer is yes
Then come over next
If your answer is no
Then don't call me no more
Boom now my problem is done
This is what you get
for raping my eardrums

Author's Note

Reviews

[The Random Writings Of ..]

Raping my ear drums!!! The perfect title for an annoying "companion" . I loved this. Once again your honesty is raw, and I can't help but picture you reading this out loud and hearing everyone laughing their asses off!
"Next time you call me and complain about ex
I'll just say hey you wanna have sex
If you're awnswer is yes
Then come over next
If your answer is no
Then don't call me no more"
I would have to say these are my favorite lines!!! Yeah she was kinda cute - but hey if she's not down to play - well goodbye! I love this, I love how you tell it like it is! Great job, and I hope you tell your "companion" how it is :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

oh i had the worse phone call from my life from this crazy girl on friday LOL. she inspired this lol. she's keeps saying she's a conservative catholic girl but shes soooo easy lol. and loves to tell me about how badly she wants babies and a nice guy but she keeps giving her body to smooth bad guys who just wanna bang her LOL...i told her to stop calling me.

[The Random Writings Of Me..Kates]

Ha! Good for you!! Good conservative catholic girl my a*$! If she wants babies and a nice guy, well maybe she needs to stop acting like a hoe! lol. Or she she needs to stop being so stupid, because many girls are like that too, they give it up to the "smooth bad boys" thinking they are going to get more, Well WAKE UP!!! Love it!!

[Crazy Cat Man]

Thank u. Ur words make me feel better. Damn I'm writing another poem about this. Its gonna be brutal when I put it up.

[The Random Writings Of Me..Kates]

Well let me know :) I have been in Seattle the last couple of days so if you sent me a RR, send me a PM with the name so I know :) And I will get to it as soon as I get home :)

[Natasha]

oh man, this poem reminded me of how my graduating class of 08 high school had a lot of students graduating with babies and getting off to get married at a niave age and just being crazy. i like how your poems so far have a bit of twisted darkness, humor, and realism about it all. makes it enjoyable to read and a breathe of fresh air :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

I wonder how those kids are doing now? :P

Haha the good news is that crazy girl whom i based this poem on stopped calling me :) im grateful for that. God answer my prayers

[Natasha]

all working at fast food restaurants or minimum wage jobs with zero-maybe 2 years of online schooling, sucks for them...I'm all for kids, but wait until you can afford it so you don't have to take advantage of everyone around you to help you out.

very good she stopped calling- always will make for an interesting conversation starter, eh? lol

[Crazy Cat Man]

People dont think when they're having sex. Theres so many commercials about condoms contraceptives and no one pays attention. Its all accident babies....hmm sounds like another poem i can write. I just became a uncle for the first time and im happy about it. They waited. I wrote a poem about her.

Im glad she stopped calling. After the last phone fight i wrote this poem lol.

[Natasha]

Yep, you would think people would pay attention- it's almost like they don't think it will happen to "them" so they are just like ehhhhhh screw it..and BOOM babies poppin out everywhereeeeee ahhhhh........scary lol

[Crazy Cat Man]

I love babies but people just dont think. I feel bad for my ladyfriends who got knocked up and then have problems with the baby daddies. Oh well they have todeal with the consequences

[Natasha]

oh yea, that is another thing, argh drama!---but very true- they asked for it!

[Crazy Cat Man]

Im laughing at the pic i posted. Im sure she was raping her husbands ear drumes from the 1950's :P

[Natasha]

HAHAHAHAHAHHA----so hilarious, but probably :P

[Sirius King]

pretty damn funny lol

[K-mo]

This is very good, makes me laugh a little at how realistic this really is and it's kind of sad too, good write!

[Crazy Cat Man]

its sad but true and i just had to make fun of it :P

[K-mo]

well you done good doing so!

[Soul Fire]

Very humourous and to the point aha

[Allycat]

haha your poems are always funny! I really like this one, it reminds me of my sister since her and her boyfriend are CONSTANTLY talking on the phone lol.

[kublakhan27]

I'm not sure if this is the same girl you've written about in the other pieces, but It seems as though you're still stuck in that guy friend/girlfriend quagmire (notice I split up the words guy and friend? :P) I know it sucks, to put it mildly, but it is producing some great poetry...the unfortunate reality of art is that it's much easier to relay negative emotions than positive...of course, there is a certain measure of comic relief in your snarly humour, which is how I think I've described it before...in any event, keep up the good work :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

i just observe. then write. theres always something to write about relationships. always something can be inspired. we are not perfect and niether is dating. it takes effort to love another person.

[kublakhan27]

Very true on all counts...

[Heather]

laughing... and just rolling my eyes at your poem, putting up with this rape of your time. Very funny, clever.. I look forward to your humor and poems

[Crazy Cat Man]

Yes women rape men a lot lol by constantly complaining about the same things and expecting us to want to listen

[afra]

haha ...good job ...i always love your poems ...

[Crazy Cat Man]

thanks this was inspired by a true story. this girl who 'friend zone' me just loves to talk to me about her bullshit dating life. i told her stop calling me. Just feels like a drill in my head.