Making Sense Of It All

I've been living inside of myself
Ever since I was born
Reclusive and isolated
Is how I survived in this cold world

Knowing to become numb
Is how I learned not to succumb
to the insanity of my mind
that was brewing and brewing

Sadness became my friend
My only constant companion
Wishing my life would end
Would be a satisfaction

Childhood memories
filled with sadness and tears
I've been wondering why?
How I lasted all those years

Darkness fills my heart
left by a void of loneliness
Fragments hardly felt
that was once happiness

Little boy full of pain
Grown man going insane
I wish it can all be explained
Why I was born this way

Reviews

[!FireCracker!]

Heart wrenching- and in a way still very much NOT asking for a hand out, up, or down.
this line

Knowing to become numb
Is how I learned not to succumb
to the insanity of my mind
that was brewing and brewing

reminds me greatly of a dear friend of mine, so this hits home on more than one lvl.

a great write, gritty, and real. deffinately one of the best things i've read lately.

[Becky]

This is a very powerful piece. Well worded. The last stanza really drives the point home, or however that saying goes.

Only one suggestion- maybe in the fourth stanza, instead of:
"'I've been wondering why?
How I lasted all those years"

You could put:
"I've been wondering why.
How did I last all those years?"

It just seems to flow better to me. If you like it better your way, then by all means go with your initial wording.

Other than that, wonderful write!

[Crazy Cat Man]

thanks for ur review. but i learned im not alone so that helps heal :)

[That_Girl]

Really emotional this one... but wonderfully done.

"Little boy full of pain
Grown man going insane
I wish it can all be explained
Why I was born this way" - Some people are just born luckier than others. Those unlucky ones have to learn to cope with the hand they were dealt. Unfortunate but true.

Love this.

[Crazy Cat Man]

thank u. i was definately not born lucky. it takes a long time to recover. and sometimes its a lifetime. but at least i will never repeat what has happened to me :) so thats a bright side. thanks for liking this

[That_Girl]

That's the way to go... learn from your past and then stay the hell away from it. It's your past for a reason. :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

If there was a time machine I will go back with a crowbar and beat the hell out of my dad then leave him bleeding and i take my young self and adopt myself :P

[That_Girl]

Adopt yourself huh? Will you adopt me too? No need to beat my parents much but adopting me would help tremendously. :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

i will adopt u now baby............but we might do that Woody Allen thing :P ewwwwwww LOL

[That_Girl]

......I don't understand... I know who he is but I'm not getting the joke.... O.O

[Crazy Cat Man]

WOW u are so young LOL...Woody Allen was once a really respective director......but he married his own step daughter and that basically ruined his career.....so thats the joke hun....google it

[That_Girl]

Ohhhh.. I didn't know she was his step daughter. lol I know I'm young. :p Ew that's nasty dude! Don't even talk like that... yuck. Forget about adopting me....

[Crazy Cat Man]

LOL now u get the joke. im laughing now sorry......he basically destroyed his career. he did things when she was young...and shes a doormat.......he got away with it......

[Crazy Cat Man]

And Morgan Freeman married his own step grand daughter.....thats sick

[That_Girl]

I'm sure you already know about this but idc... I'm commenting on it. From his son via Twitter : "Happy father's day— or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law's day" Holy crap that's funny...

Really????? I didn't know.... how am I missing these bits of information...????

[Crazy Cat Man]

His own kids hate him> such a shame he destroyed his family. thats when lust takes over the mind

[That_Girl]

He made his bed.... literally

[Voice]

I really understand those feelings I hid inside myself for almost as long as I can remember and many childhood memories were filled with pain...but life will continue to go on. This is a painfully good write...

Voice

[Luna]

I am sorry that you had to go through that. I can relate to this pain depicted here.
Honestly, you are a great writer! I can really feel the emotion in this.

"Little boy full of pain
Grown man going insane
I wish it can all be explained
Why I was born this way "

Great, heart-aching write.

-Luna

[Stephanie]

I love the last stanza.

"Little boy full of pain
Grown man going insane
I wish it can all be explained
Why I was born this way"

Our memories follow us through life, good or bad. Excellent write :)

[bluessadmood]

Sorry i just had to add this is one of the best writes i saw for some time,you really did a great job here..wonderful..
i just loved this,how i love your thoughts..

[bluessadmood]

God my friend ,you are like talking my mind..
Childhood full of bad strained moments,youth full of stress and running and all fears...
adulthood almost lost all the while,my mind turning this way and that ,till i get dizzy..
more years to come to feel even more isolated from the stupid surroundings around..
i swear ,sometimes its so sickening feeling i am still alive,and what life,you think this is life..
of all i read,i never saw anything that i could tell that was right..not more than 5 per cent
of what i see is right,everything is going wrong,whats wrong with world..or is it me that i am wrong..
but through the books that i went through,i had wonderful tutors,they all told me ,my thoughts were right
so what now ,how can a sane man live among a bunch of crazy people..do i have to go crazy too,so i can live
is it life that should be this way ..just take it or leave it..i am a clown for sure ,waiting for an end,any sort of end
is there any clown here to join me,or i have to be alone even in this..but where is the end..certainly hope it wont be long..
lovely write..

[Karen666]

Wow simply wow..... makes my heart ache....i can relate to this alot.

[Gandré]

but you see, how I know you you 've grown and I like your straight-forward character. We might not be who we are when things had been too positive in our lives, so each time we deal with the world, this makes you a bit stronger. Great poem.