There I Stood Near the Window

a story from my teen years

I remember so well those days...as if I were looking through my father’s magnifying glass, one memory I keep in a drawer since my old man is been gone. In fact he was not so old, but he liked to call himself „the old man”, exactly like he was calling his own father a long time ago. I never dared to call my father „old man”, I was a kind of  shy girl and he was fearsome in so many ways. We never had a close relationship, but I guess few daughters are emotionally close to their fathers. Anyway, he was the type of rigid parent, he had his words spoken as if they were engraved on the doors, on the floors, everywhere in the house. For example he cared very much about the old golden rules like: „never speak while you eat” and others like that. For him I was not tough enough and maybe he was right because once I was infatuated with a young boy, three years older than me. Impressed by his big green eyes, his eyelashes and his style, like reading or writing poetry, being kind, helping me when I needed to mend a musical tape because I was also too clumsy and afraid to destroy it, reciting even love poems to me in the few moments when we were walking on the street together with our mothers nearby. Stupid girl, that is what I was. And when I was almost sixteen my two years old love dream faded away, while I was recording my thoughts in a journal. That adventure ended well. And my father had also other reasons for his opinion about me, for example the fact that some of my classmates were making fun of me, hurting my feelings.

...........................................................................................................................................

Those were the days before 1989. We were obliged to go every day to school in dark blue uniforms and they were controlling even our matriculation numbers. I had a leather portfolio under my arm and usually I was walking towards school very fast. Luckily it was very near to my house, I knew by heart the traffic signals order, so I could pass very quickly from one street corner to another, arriving at school in less than five minutes. Good old days, happiness and freshness all around either summer or winter, because we were so young. I was studying mostly mathematics and physics and the truth is that I used to read a lot of literature and I hated those two horrible, boring, tiresome things. But at the end of the tenth grade we were obliged to give an exam for being admitted in the superior cycle of studies, an exam for those two sciences I disliked.

In my first high school year I had low grades at my physics examinations, but it all worked well in the end. The next year the teacher was replaced. Then I almost lost that important exam because of mathematics! The next year the physics teacher was replaced again. This last lady played an even more important role in my life.

One day, when I was seventeen, the age of reason for some girls, and it was obviously spring as far as I remember,  she gave us a written test with different exercises. I placed my sheet of paper on the teacher’s desk in time and then, a little tired and dizzy like a young girl when flowers bloom, I went towards the classroom windows, where I engaged in a conversation with another girl. We stood chatting for a while and I wasn’t aware of what was going on in my back.

Suddenly SPLEESH - SPLASH!! What?! I was slapped on my face by that teacher and I couldn’t wake up in the first moment. She was raging on red in her cheeks, screaming at me: „Miss!” or something like that. She said that I was trying to help another colleague, a boy who was still working on his test, sitting in the first row of benches. I just couldn’t understand in the first moment. I really did not even notice that boy there. And why me? The other girl I was talking with was spared of such a treatment. And she seemed to stare at me in a strange manner. The teacher, in a fury and hurry, took all the papers and ran out the door, leaving me there in a state of shock, thinking without speaking my mind out.

My friend started to talk to me expressing anger and revolt, criticizing that teacher and the way she reacted. I just couldn’t understand, that is all. Maybe I was wrong, even after all these years I don’t know for sure... There I stood near the window, my friend told me that I should denounce that teacher to their higher council. I was confused. I refused to do that. Was it right, was it wrong? I was not so good at physics like I said and maybe I never tried to help another colleague. I was also too shy.

After all maybe only then did I really lose my only important exam with that teacher.

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

If you've read any of my short stories or poems, then you know I really enjoy tales that take us back to the memories of our youth. And I enjoyed your story as well. How shocking, the way that teacher reacted! And, to you accuse you of cheating? I too would have been very upset. So much so that I believe I could not have helped but take my friends advice and report her to the higher council. thanks for requesting this, I found this very interesting...

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it. After all that teacher was also guilty of letting that boy working on his test in the recreation. I was not blaming her, I don't know what made her react like that.

[Dean Kuch®]

You are absolutely welcome!

[Raef C. Boylan]

You have a very distinct narrative voice - in a few places it leads to grammatical issues but I'm reluctant to comment on them in case it destroys the stylistic nuances of this piece. It's difficult to review writing that feels so personal, but I like how little poetic details have seeped in e.g. "happiness and freshness all around either summer or winter, because we were so young".
Overall, I enjoyed this and think it's good, but as I commented below there is some confusion about the time lapse between when you are writing your exam and when "recreation" has begun. However, regardless of when you spoke to your friend, my opinion is that she overreacted bigtime.

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

In all dictionaries on the net and in print I found recreation instead of recess, maybe that was a mistake. Thanks for your kind review. I believed that is was clear from that paragraph beginning with "Once..." that we were in the recess time, after all this is not a scientific paper, read that paragraph again and you will see I am right. I think that a story doesn't have to be a robo story, we are humans and some things can be understood and must be understood from allusions, otherwise there is no literature. It was obvious it was recess, I placed my paper in time on teacher's desk and some children were talking near the windows. Then it is even more clear because I wrote so clearly that a boy was still working on his test, I even explained in one of my older comments.
Most of all I need to thank you for your comment again, I am not a native English speaker and I might have been overlooked some grammar errors, but I believe that there is nothing serious of that kind.

[Raef C. Boylan]

In most Western countries, there is usually a gap between lessons and then 'recess'/'recreation/'breaktime'. The way I read it, you finished your exam and were still in the classroom where the exam took place so, for all the reader knows, the exam is still in session.
I hope that makes sense(?)

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

We were not obliged to live the classroom during those breaks or gaps or how you call them between lessons. I am sorry for the inevitable differences between cultures. Many children stay in the classroom during breaktime, I was not familiar with what you say, you talk about a difference between gaps and recesses, I will try to find what this means. And I never wrote above that is was an exam - I wrote that the teacher gave us a test, it was a regular test.

[Raef C. Boylan]

If you desire readers from the UK/USA/Canada/Australia and places like that to understand the situation, you may want to make it clear that you were in 'recreation' when you started talking to your friend. If you do not mind people from those countries misunderstanding the situation then it does not matter :) In the UK and USA, talking is not allowed during a written test - even if one person has finished their test, they have to remain quiet while their classmates are still taking the test. So the point I (and, I think, Dayran) were trying to make is that readers may not see how completely undeserved the teacher’s “raging” was because in our culture, if you talk during a test, you are automatically accused of cheating or helping somebody else to cheat. When the reality is: you were no longer in the test, so it was perfectly acceptable for you to be talking.
Anyway, hope this has been helpful.

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

Anyway thanks, maybe I will try to express more clearly that I was not longer in the test. I believed it was clear.

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

But I will not change it soon. I am obstinate :), pardon me. I appreciate your opinion but I will wait a while for others. I repeat: I think that literature doesn't have to be crystal clear in its sentences, otherwise it is not real literature. As for the grammar errors, I did my best, no one ever tells me where something is wrong. As a proof I wrote another story with many errors, in a loose manner, in order to correct it in the near future.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Of course it is up to you, this is your work, your literary baby :)

For an example of the grammatical stuff I mentioned, where meaning may have become lost in translation:
"I wasn’t aware of what was going on in my back" should probably be "I wasn’t aware of what was going on behind my back."

Anyway, best of luck with your writing.

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

I noticed that, it was exactly the thing I wasn't sure about. Many thanks.
This premature baby will wait a little in the incubator without changes.

[Raef C. Boylan]

I hope your baby grows up to live a long and happy life, loved by all :D

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

:D and also ;) and :(
I am a poet, but sometimes I need to express myself in prose fragments, it helps my imagination growth, although my prose is real life experience.

[Raef C. Boylan]

I noticed that your writing is mostly poetry :) But I saw that you put my Currently Untitled story in your 'to read' library, and because that's longer than the average poem, I thought reading a story by you would be a fairer exchange. Lol.

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

Thanks again, I will read your story for sure because I liked it at a first glance but for my eyes it was a little difficult. My reading list is filled with things I liked and I want to read later.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Yeah it is densely formatted, sorry about that lol.

[Dayran]

I was thinking of your father's simple ethics and the fact that you should have been at your desk during an exam. It was a liberty you took which makes for many interpretations and the kind of confusing outcome that you experienced. Its one of the reasons fathers try to inculcate simple ethics in children.

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

I don't understand what we are saying. I never took liberties my whole life. I resemble my father. I was always staying at my desk, even in recreations, when other children were noisy and nasty. That was me, that's all. That was my mistake, not what you say.

[Raef C. Boylan]

I think the reviewer is trying to trace a connection between the first and second part of your story, rather than accuse you :)
It wasn't clear from reading your story that you were talking during recreation (is that the same as recess?); it read like you were talking while everybody else was still doing their exam