When you wake up your nightmare starts

This is a true story. It happened to me when I arrived in Andorra.

It was a Sunday morning and my mum was making breakfast while I slept in bed. My father had gone out. He told mum he went to see some friends who needed help. He put his black jacket on and opened the door. Once he slammed the door shut, I suddenly woke up. I was still a little sleepy because of the wonderful dream I was having. I looked around my yellow coloured room. I saw both wardrobes open with my clothes hanging out. On my bedside table there was my digital clock which I had thrown, by mistake, into the fish bowl. I carefully took it out and placed it on the table to dry. I decided it wouldn't make sense to stay in bed any longer for once I woke up I couldn't get to sleep again. I got out of the warm and cosy bed and my bare feet touched the cold tiled floor. I always had a carpet under my feet when I got out of bed. So I thought that maybe my mother had taken it out to wash. I walked to one of the wardrobes and choose some random clothes. They turned out to be a t-shirt saying 'I love London' and a pair of black skiny jeans. Once I put my clothes on I opened the window. The sound that came from the outside was so charming that I nearly fell asleep again. I heard the birds chatting about their day, at least it was what I thought they were doing, the wind brushing against the red leafed trees and green bushes, the grass was so wet and humid you could even she the drops and the shiny light it made. I knew this wasn't going to last long because there would be a strong wind loaded with snow coming up. I decided to close the window and go to breakfast. I walked through the icy cold corridor and went into the kitchen. I saw my mum and asked her what she was cooking. She told me they where pancakes covered with my favourite sauce and I smiled. My mum loved it when I smiled and so did I, as long as it made her happy. I thanked my mum for the breakfast and took a plate of pancakes. I decided to eat in the kitchen for the dining room was still humid and cold from the broken pipe. When I finished I thanked her once more and ran to my room to fetch a pair of cosy slippers. Once I put them on and came back my mum had put on a white winter jacket and a pair of matching boots. I asked where we were going and she said we had to go and fetch some wood up in the mountains. I hesitated and then nodded my head. Then I put my purple rain jacket and a pair of black boots. My mum opened the door whilst I checked if I had my keys. After that we went out and started walking up the mountain till we got to the wood shop. I thought it was rather strange that a man lived so high in the mountains and sold wood where no one ever went. But I liked it there even though it was freezing. My mother told me to walk faster and so I did. When I arrived I complimented the woodcutter's daughter Alicia. She was a tall eleven year old like me, had blue eyes and a very light chestnut hair. She a great friend though she didn't go to my school. My mum had finally arrived and told me I could stay with Alicia for a while. We agreed and told them we would play in the woods. My mother didn't worry about this because Alicia knew the forest like the back of her hand. 

After a few minutes me and Alicia were deep in the woods. We were both talking about our final exams to pass to the next year when I heard something. I asked Alicia if she also heard that and she told me not to worry it was just the wind. But I knew she wasn't sure by the look in her eyes. And that's when we saw a shadow pass behind us. What worried me was that Alicia wasn't sure of where to go. Alicia heard the sound again and looked back. But I stayed in the same place looking at the big furry animal in front of me. I touched Alicia's shoulder gently and she turned to face the animal. She screamed and took my hand and ran away. The animal we had seen was a bear! We got lost several times but then we realized that the bear wasn't chasing us. We stopped to rest and when we saw another shadow we screamed and ran again till we reached the woodcutter's house. My mom came out from the back door and said she heard the screaming. We explained everything and then went inside for a cup of cocoa. 

A few hours past and then I had to go home. I said goodbye to Alicia and her parents and went home thinking that wouldn't be the last time I saw a bear.

Later in the evening Alicia phoned me and told me that she had seen the bear again. It was only looking for honey and found their beehive! I was relived by this and went to bed to prepare for my first day of school.

Author's Note

Pls do tell me if u saw any spelling and grammar problems I need to get better at them and pls do review! :D

Reviews

[semppu]

Good writing. The only grammar problems were mostly commas.
My father had gone out, he told mum---change comma to period as a new sentence was started.
Once he slammed it I suddenly woke up---maybe consider writing---Once he slammed the door shut, I suddenly woke up.
hanging out, on my bedside table---just swap the comma for a period.

Keep on writing!

[.]

Tnx for reviewing! :)

[Rose]

That is an awesome story but I think I may have one thing to let you know about;
"I was relived" - I believe it should be "I was relieved" but besides that one possible thing I never noticed anything major. :) Keep writing.
100/100

[.]

Thanks I correct that when I can
Tnx for reading! :)

[Rose]

No problem :)

[Taylor H.]

Also...no offense but if a bear is CHASING you....youre dead. You cant outrun something as fast as a car

[Taylor H.]

My issue is you knew stuff your chatacter shouldnt have wjen its first person pov. You said he told your mom he was helping a friend and as soon as the door slammed she woke. With first person we only know what the character knows. Remember that. I also felt you told us a lot instead of showing us. I think this would work better as third person and try not to rush so much. Youre telling a story, take your time

[.]

Ok thanks :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

really compelling, excellent writing, a good job katerina.

[.]

Thank u! :D

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

It really does sound horrifying so sorry if I feel like cracking a smile DX It was an entertaining read. Your simplistic style is very note worthy as it gives us readers a clear image of what you want :)

Nice write :)

[.]

Thanks! :D

[Katherine Enma Pineapple]

Welcome :) really sorry if I crack a smile

[.]

It's ok :D

[spiritwind]

love how you told your story from the time you woke up till the time you heard the bear was after a honey comb! You have storytelling abilities that is for sure! I had a good case of what-happens-next throughout the entire story.

[.]

Tnx I always try my best! :D

[Roxana]

You're life is very scary and adventorous! Loved this diary! 100-100

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Thanks! :)

[Mia]

Hahahahahaha! I know that it must have been absolutely frightening but I can't help but laugh. Thinking of myself in your position makes me laugh. I would have died from fear. What an interesting experience which turned into a wonderful story!

[.]

Tnx! To tell u the truth I was more than scared! :)

[Pax]

exellent experience, it must be a rush of adventure. Wonderful experience.
what was the bear's color by the way?

[.]

I think it was brown but I ran away so.quivkly my friend had to tell me :) tnx for reviewing!