The Desire to Desire

I've been in kind of a rut lately. What's it like to want something? I don't know. Easily satisfied, I guess. And yet...

I don't really understand.

Wanting, I mean.

A numbness fills my nerves at the thought.

Not like I never cared, though.
Tears shed across long dried out skin.

Are you still there? Someone? Anyone? Hello?

Catatonic, meaningless, lifeless. Someone? Anyone? Can you hear me?
Only a mirror greets me. I perceive nothing. Only the reflection of dull electronic lights shimmering on a couch.
Mind and soul filled with wriggling worms, warning me to stop whilst pushing me forward. Stop. Move. Act. Be. Pretend.

Pet? Partner? Friend? I don't really care. Someone? Anyone? Tell me you're...
All-consuming noise. You never need much, do you? No. You're a nice person, aren't you? Yes. Would you like me to- No, thanks.

Nothing ever changes. Nothing I want. Nothing I need. Nothing I seek. Nothing I greet. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing? Nothing. No.

I pick up my pen. I write a line; The Desire to Desire. God, that sounds stupid. I don't care. Irony chuckles.

Overtaking thoughts fill my head. I keep writing amidst, choking on sobs. I write more. I write; I write more. I stop.

Numb limbs start moving like wriggling worms, warning me to stop whilst pushing me forward. Stop. Move. Act, Be, Pretend.

...No. The clock ticks. Now or never. Thus I stop. Thus I move. Thus... I push myself forward.

Reviews

[Najam Us Saher]

You have effectively described your every action that happens in your mind.

[Correspondence]

This needs way more than two reviews! (three). Come on, people!

[Correspondence]

Ah, loneliness, my dear friend. "I keep writing amidst, choking on sobs." The unquenchable need for something, even when you don't know what that 'something' is. Very well written. I enjoy the fact that you explained this in a prose form (it's my favorite!!). And no, Cyber, "The Desire To Desire," isn't stupid, it is heartfelt. As long as this stuff is getting channeled somewhere, it isn't underlined as stupid. Would love to see more when you get the chance!!
~Correspondence

[Neville]

x 24 views and x1 review aint so bad and it's still 2018...... bet ya get a few more now tho... and good luck... N