Deterioration

A Story by DBI

This is a college personal negative I had done, it's the first draft and I want some feedback

DBI Mawile
Prof. Oak
Personal Narrative
September 18th, 2014
Deterioration
When we are kids we are told that we are each smart individual snowflakes destined for greatness, this is one of the worst things to tell a child. Yes a child can be born great, can work to be great and can be helped to become great but what of those children who were told they were but didn’t become great when they grew up? Those kids who grow up slowly losing interest or motivation in school, the ones who look back and asked ‘what went wrong?’ They get help from schools who want to prepare them before shipping them away to colleges where the push, help and guidance of those they know slowly fade as they ‘did their job’ and now move onto another student who needs help. These college freshmen turn into people who just want to graduate and get a job with whatever sort of honor and prestige that going to college and getting whatever degree they scraped up, do what society expects them to do. The drive and ambition gone, only little embers remain that feed off of adult life and issues that serve as a false source of motivation but to what? They’ve done what society wants, go to college, get a career and become self-sufficient but now what? Create children with someone and restart the cycle that one-day they too will follow the chain and die in the end. A ‘Unique’ snowflake completely surrounded by other ‘unique’ snowflakes in a snowstorm on a world that pretends to care but ultimately they end up forgettable and a distant memory, the path that I myself fear walking on.
As a child I felt motivated and inspired to learn and master the skills school had to offer, getting high marks and feeling excited to go home to people who praised you’re success, giving me and any kid in my position the motivation to continue to learn and not disappoint mom and dad/ their guardians and those who had faith in them achieving something in life. This died relatively quickly in my case, parents expected more of me and wanted nothing but the best and when I couldn’t achieve this I got punished; the story I share with thousands of other children. I found myself doing work not for enjoyment and not because it was ‘fun’ or interesting but because I was expected to and I didn’t want to be punished. The pats on the back and thumbs up where still there but they meant nothing when it meant nothing to the person receiving the praise, instead of being a sign of accomplishment it just became a sign that you appeased them and did as expected, like a ‘good little kid’. This made work tedious and dull and when they stopped caring about expectations and focused on my younger sisters the damage had been done already and left me not caring for work anymore because I, and other kids in my position, can't find it enjoyable anymore (or at least the majority of the time). I’ve honestly lost care for school and even in life. My childhood experience and those who share the same had caused us to lose the drive for school, just go through the day and work and work because its expected of you and because you don’t have a choice.
Only times I still have interest in school or in anything is when I have control over it such as writing or creating, this is because it comes from your own personal mind, the one thing you cannot share with or have the same as another persons. I get to choose what I write and think for once but this itself is a dim luxury when school demands for us to do essays following rubrics and expected formats, rhetoric devices and other mandatory and approved things. This however does help prepare those to go to college to learn to write at their expected levels but honestly most kids are just going to college because school, society and parents/guardians who don’t know the pressure of being the first in the family to go to college or the pressure of being alone and having to work fingers to the bone to get a piece of paper that allowed you to go to other higher tier jobs to work your fingers to the bone pressure them to do so, expecting them to do the work that they do to find better work to pay off the debt caused when they did work to find work to make money! This is what I see when I think of college, however do not assume that this means I plan to drop out or leave. I can't bring myself to do so and yes that sounds hypocritical of me to say so but in a world where there are no jobs and follows the motto of ‘ only those with money have a voice’ id rather push through and accept it, get that job and continue the cycle but in my own way. Choosing not to force my kids into things I did when I was their age and let them decide not based on the facts they’re fed down their throats in school but rather what they’ll find on their owns in their journey. I hope that the inspiration and motivation to carry on comes soon for me, my embers can't last forever because eventually everyone’s dreams die out, some achieve and some don’t and I can't tell you if I have or haven’t, time hasn’t given me that answer.