Lovely Blue

The sky
It was blue
Blue
Like always
-
And you mentioned
How much you liked the sky
When it was blue
-
I thought it was odd
Because
The sky was always
Blue
-
Even more odd
Was the way you said it
It sounded
Sad
-
And that
Sometimes
Made me wonder
If somehow
Someway
You knew
-
But that
Would have been impossible
Because
No one could
Have known
-
-
-
That same day
The day when we
Talked
About the sky
Was when it changed
-
The blue
No more blue
None at all
-
The sky
Turned orange
And green fell
All over
Us
-
The rain burned
It was not wet
And cool
It was hot
And dry
-
It burned you
And I thought you to be gone
But I dragged
You inside
-
It burned
Through the
Roof so I took us to the
Basement
-
You didn't
Open your eyes
For the longest
Time
-
But then you
Did
And I cried
And you didn't know why I
Was crying
But you hugged me
Anyways
-
I had holes in me
From the
Rain
And
You did
Too
-
-
-
Finally
The rain
It had stopped
-
But nothing
Happened
And I wondered
If was were the
Only ones
-
We went outside
And
There was yelling
Screaming
Wailing
-
The were
Fires
And
Broken windows
And
Bodies
Some not from
The rain
But from other
People
-
I saw one of my neighbors
Fighting
No
Killing
Another one
For a can
Of beans
-
We went inside
Locked again in the basement
To wait out
That
That
Chaos
-
-
-
My neighbor
An old man by the name of
Desmond
Begged for us to let him in
-
He and I had been neighbors for
Nearly two decades
Friends
So
I let him in
-
He pulled a gun
From his pocket
There was a loud noise
And a wet painful feeling
In my leg
He shot you
Too
-
He grabbed all of our
Food
And tried to leave
But
You attacked him
-
There was a struggle
And
A shot fired at you
But
It hit me
-
A warm feeling
A wet feeling
A painful feeling
Somewhere in my
Chest
-
As you quickly limped over to me
Weeping
He left
And I think
Maybe
He was crying
Too
-
Do tell me
Why do you weep
-
My vision fades
In
And out
And when
And when I see
I see you there
By my side
Sobbing
-
And
I didn't know why you
Were weeping
But I hugged you
Anyways
---

Reviews

[Vera]

I am not usually a fan of dystopian anything really, but this was an excellent story in the form of a beautiful poem. Your word choice brings both great and disturbing imagery which is excellent. I love your last lines. They leave the reader with a perfect sense of loss and of being lost and alone. Great job!

[Ember Smyth]

Thank you for your review!

[mackenzie :)]

"I had holes in me from the rain, and you did too" I love that line so much. Amazing work :)

[Ember Smyth]

Thank you for your review! :)

[Aarea]

I love this poem! It is an interesting portrayal of a possible future. I don't usually read poems this long (I am a bit ADD and get bored by long poems) but this one kept me hooked to the end. Good job, and keep it up!

[Ember Smyth]

Thank you for your review! :)

[J.L. Greeson]

In all honesty this poem/story took me on a ride. I wasn't expecting it to suddenly become as violent or as tragic as I expected it to be from the title, but I liked it. Also what a great prose for a tale that turned apocalyptic. Keep spinning out ideas and developing your writing because you've got some great ideas. My only critique might just be in the formatting of it. Specifically the the dashes. I don't know why but I think just spacing out between your stanzas and then adding a dash at a longer pause is more effective. But I also realize that is really subjective so if you don't agree, then just ignore the comment.

[Ember Smyth]

Thank you for your review! :)

[Jqckson]

Wow- seriously? Just when I thought you had FINALLY stopped writing, THIS happens. Seriously?! Is this some kind of joke or something? This is so bad it isn't even funny. This is the worst grammar ever, but you're just gonna keep on writing, because you like to make people suffer. This is harassment of the public. I should report you. But I'm nice, so I won't. Not this time, at least.