Moonlight

"With a moonlight so beautiful anyone would be entranced, why would I differ from the rest? truly stunning, ethereal in beauty. A grateful gesture became quite the obsession, but I regret none of it"

‘Ah, there he is again. In the moonlight, I see HIM, "Moonlight."’ I looked out my window to see him 7 floors below.

Seeing him has become like a daily ritual for me. He doesn't hold any ill will for me, and I KNOW this. Moonlight has helped me quite a few times. I was almost hit by a car. But he saved me. I saw him after a seizure, and he soothed me until help was gotten. I remember the first day I saw him. I was a teenager. I could not take the emotional distress and pain my family caused, so I was to end my life. As I was going to take the pills, I was met with such pale skin that he looked like death walking; he was dressed head to toe in black, with shoulder-length white hair and bright green eyes. He grabbed my hand, shaking his head disapprovingly.

 

All I could do was cry, I needed this. I wanted this, He did not know me, Or what I was going through at that moment; I tried to take out everything I felt on this boy. I was not reasoning, and I never thought to be fearful or paranoid. Such feelings left me after the trauma I suffered. I felt numb other than anger. It never occurred to me to ask, "where had he come from?" "Why was he here with me?" "How did he get in?" I was running on pure adrenaline; it intensified my rage and tears, My breathing getting more shallow. I did nothing but scream at him, throat growing raw and voice rough, as he watched me through pitful green eyes filled with knowing.

 

What did they know? I despised being pitied, yet he did it so openly. His eyes shone like glass; They reflected my frazzled and messy appearance. I began to drown in them, taking in every aspect of myself, my red eyes, unruly hair, and dry lips. Its as if I was not only looking in the mirror but at my soul. My anxiety had risen to a new level, and I hated it. I quickly looked away; still, the thoughts of my end only grew. I grabbed the pills. He once again grabbed my hand in such a firm grip and looked at me with a frown. This went on for a few hours until I gave up. I wanted to sleep, He wouldn't let me be at peace.

 

Once it was seen that I was giving up, he smiled at me. I felt nervous and looked away from his gaze, and when I looked back, he was gone. I realized he was saying, My life meant something. I hadn't been that happy in years, and it felt great that somebody cared. That is how I met him, Moonlight.

 

I strived to be someone important in life because he gave my life meaning. I wanted him to see that I could make something of myself, but it wasn't the easiest of tasks. The sadness would often return; although He would come and make me feel better, sometimes giving me a bright red rose or a black one; they were lovely. He let me say things I couldn't say to others, He was always mute, but his eyes and expressions said a thousand words. Moonlight was a part of me, My only real family.

 

Lately, I have noticed myself zoning out in class. I needed to be someone, or Moonlight would be disappointed. I felt such a heavy burden and pressure on my chest. I wondered constantly, was he angry at me? I never had to worry for too long, because I was met with that charming smile, as he called me over. I think to myself, 'I love him.' 'I wonder whether he feels the same? He sees me quite often, gives me such lovely flowers.' I was going to ask him. My heart was pounding! I started to cross the street to him, but I was stopped, as a classmate called me to return a book. I rushedly thanked them, Then wanting to chat, they asked me a few trivial things. I did not want to be rude, but I had another objective. My mind was elsewhere; Moonlight looked pretty upset and walked away when I looked over my classmate's shoulder. I panicked, I needed him. 'Please don't leave Moonlight.' I told my classmate I needed to go home and rushed across the street.

 

He was nowhere in sight.

 

 

He hadn't appeared today. I wonder if he was busy? Yes that must have been it. For the first time in years, anxiety and fear were beginning to overtake me. 'Would I lose him?' He'd been by my side for years, and he couldn't just disappear. The next few weeks were Hell. He had become my drug. I needed that smile, those eyes, that icy warm touch when he comforts me or praises me. I can't stop trembling, sweating. I can't even sleep, eat or socialize. Where is he? D****t!

 

Nothing feels real. 'Was he even real?' "of course, Of course! he was. I must be dreaming." I answered my thoughts aloud. I looked in my mirror to see the distressed figure looking back at me. I need him. 'I can make him see me; I know what to do to get his attention!' I went into my closet and grabbed my pocket knife; I went to sit on my bed when I opened it. I see my desperate eyes staring back at me. I dig into my skin, gritting my teeth as the painful pleasure comes over me. 'I need him' I began carving his name into my arm as the bleeding increased.

 

  'he's not here.' as I stood from my bed looking around.

I collapsed on the floor and  began sobbing frantically, running my hands through my hair, the blood that was leaking rapidly out of my arm, staining my clothes.

'it's not real, he didn't abandon me. I know it' nothing feels real, slight dizziness taking over me. I stumbled to the closet, weakly snatching a shirt of the hanger, feeling nothing but a numbness radiating through me. I wrapped the shirt around my wounds. I heard a light knock on my window. My eyes were wide, filled with hope. I ran towards my window, opened the curtains.

 

     He was here.

Moonlight was here with that same smile. He came into my apartment window. I tried to help him. I did not want him to fall, I'm on the 7th floor

he could have died, but he refused my help and came in easily. He looked at my arm, took the blood-stained shirt from my arm, and back at me with an unreadable expression. I looked away, embarrassed. ' what do I say? I can't tell him I did this for him, It would sound insane' Just as I was about to fabricate a foolish cover-up. He hugged me; This doesn't feel real. I hugged him back, taking in every detail of him. He smelled like lavender and sunlight; it was odd, but not bad. I've never smelled anything like it. I enjoyed it. His suit was so soft, 'silk perhaps?' Although his body felt very firm like it was nothing but muscle. I shouldn't think of him like this. I tried to shake such perverse thoughts from my mind.

 

He looked down at me with a genuine smile, kissed my forehead, then whispered to me, "Come with me'" Those three words felt like my life's purpose. His voice was like the deepest sea, and I would love to drown in it. His voice carries a strange accent but fitting for his mysterious atmosphere. He ran his hands through my hair, staring me in the eyes.

 

 I love it.

 

I want to drown in his essence., his very being.

 "Come with me," he said once more.

 I smiled  and whispered, "Yes, Moonlight" looking into his stunning eyes, he took my hand, and we stepped outside of my window. 'I'm so happy he came back for me.'

I looked down to see a plethora of people staring at us. 'Why are they staring' I was confused. He caressed my face and placed a small kiss on my lips, and his eyes found mine.

" Do not worry about them; they concern us not."

I nodded excitedly, 'he's right, I've waited for him. I can't lose him again.'

The moon's pale light lit up the world, as Moonlight did my life. Truly radiant.

he held my hand tightly and said to trust him. 'I already do, I trust him more than I do myself.'

 

He jumped.

With him, I was never afraid. I kept my eyes on him, and The pressure on my chest and the pain started to increase. I began to cry, and soon after my eyes closed, once I awakened, the pressure was gone entirely, I was dressed in black and we were in a field, full of roses, black and a bright red. 'so this is where he got them' the sky was red, but no Sun or Moon. The roses moved as if the wind was present, but there was no wind, it was very still. There also seemed to be dark buildings about a mile or two away from us. He held my hand while walking with me to a door. There was nothing on the sides or behind it. Once the door opened, It was beautiful, the same beautiful roses, but white ones instead; my friends were here, my great-grandmother, My father. 'They had all passed'  I realized It then, I was dead. I looked back at Moonlight, and his eyes took on a glossy black that still reflected me so vividly. he also had what looked to be fresh scars along the sides of his mouth running towards his ear, pulsing veins everywhere on his face, and appeared much thinner; he also carried a transparent scythe on his back. He did not deter me. I hugged him tightly, begging him to let me stay with him.

 

I didn't have to be alive. I just needed him. He pushed me away roughly and demanded I go; when he spoke, his mouth and his scars opened as well, revealing jagged teeth. raw unhealed wounds. ' was he trying to scare me?'

 

"I'm not scared of this appearance; I'm afraid of you leaving me," I spoke defiantly. The exasperated look in his eyes was unmistakable. He pointed to my family and patted my head softly. I'm not a child, but I couldn't help the tears I let out. I grabbed his hand and held it close to my face, wiping my own tears and rubbing my face; 'just hold me like you used to,' I looked in his eyes. I did not want to leave, but I felt eyes on me that weren't my family. They were not as welcoming. I had so many questions, but I feared if I wasn't compliant. I would get a fate worse than death. Behaving like a child would not do me any favors.

 

"I'll go' I said as I looked at the ground beneath my bare feet. He stopped me and held a black rose between his index finger and thumb as I turned away from the door. It burned between his fingers. I looked at him confused, until it took the form of a black rose pendant. I was in awe, and it was beautiful; he placed it on my neck, and I began to walk in, but I stopped at the door.

 

'What if he forgets me?' I grabbed the rose closest to the door and handed it to him, While I hugged him once more. Once I pulled away, he placed the white rose on his suit, and it Embedded itself like it was a stitched embroidery. I will always be a piece of him.

 

As I made it towards the door, I looked back with a sullen smile. I would miss him so much.

"goodbye, Moonli- I mean death," I fumbled over my words; 'he is a grim reaper, right? I should show the proper respect.' I looked into his eyes once more and smiled; as I began towards the door again, he said something that made it much harder to leave.

" No, it is Moonlight; finally, you can be at peace." I had to leave, I had to leave now.

 

"Can you visit?"

 

  "No. We are not allowed to visit the souls of the dead."

 

'Such a stupid question to ask him.' I felt embarrassed. I walked into the room with dozens of faces from my past talking amongst another, ready to greet me.

 

" I never said I would not," He said as he gave me a longing look and closed the door. I held my pendant, staring at the door until it disappeared into dust.

 

 

'I fell in love with death, and I think death fell in love with me as well.'

 

I turned around, smiling at the lost souls of my pasts, waiting for the day death would greet me again.

 

 

Author's Note

Not the best writer, I just enjoy it, trigger warnings