A New Beginning for an Old Wound.

Just a short story about a woman who finds a new hope in a new love interest.

 "D****t, Leah, can you stop being so f*****g difficult for five f*****g seconds?"

The words of my ex rang through my skull as I pondered once again why I still haven't called Drew. I guess Jordan was right, I was pretty f*****g difficult when it came to love and dating. You know, all that fun stuff.

   I had met Drew about a week ago, in the strangest way I had ever met someone in my life. My girlfriend and I had gotten into a discussion about how these days, in the era of technology, people don't seem to be going out and purchasing porn anymore. I mean, why would they when they could get it for free on their private computer, at home? So, as kind of a fun, awkward thing to do, she sent me into the adult book and video store on Eighth Street, to buy whatever video I was interested in. I had awkwardly found a DVD and went up to the register to buy it. Surprisingly, I found myself waiting in line to purchase the thing, when I noticed the man in front of me has the same "movie" I did. I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was actually buying a porno from a store, or that outside the door my friend was laughing so hard she was about to pee her pants, but when I saw he had the identical version of my movie, I actually let out a chortle. The man slowly turned around to glance at me, looking quite confused and, was that embarrassment hiding behind his eyes? I accidentally made eye contact with him, and realized I had to justify my laughter.

    "I'm sorry, I just noticed that you were buying the same video as I was and I found it funny," I mumbled awkwardly.

The man had the most beautiful eyes, I noticed. Blue like the turquoise stones on my bracelet. They lit up slightly when he realized I was laughing about the coincidence, and not his personal preference in voyeurism. He glanced down at the DVD I was clutching in my now-sweaty palm, and simply said,

   "Then I guess either I have very poor taste, or you have very good taste."

He smiled after he said his witty little remark and turned back to face the front of the line. My heart sank a little when he turned away. My heart sank? Wait, what? That made no sense...I had just barely spoken two words to the guy and he made my heart sink?  Geez, I'm lame. Well, I couldn't let him go that easily. So, I struck up a small conversation with him, which led to him walking me out the door, which then led to me telling my friend I had to go because me and Stranger Man were going to get a cup of coffee down the street. 

  I learned his name was Drew, he was twenty-nine, and apparently doesn't visit porn shops regularly, he was just passing by and decided to be spontaneous for once, (which was something his Ex made sure he knew he lacked, I learned.) We talked about our past relationships, our friends, our families; our lives. He worked for a magazine company, he wrote articles. I couldn't quit asking him questions about his life. Hours passed, but I couldn't get enough of hearing his voice; watching his face. Of course, I explained to him the reason why I was in the shop, which he found hilarious. The sun was setting, and violet and scarlet rays were stretching out over the sky. He had to go, but gave me his number. We said our Good-byes and as I got into my car, I could hear Jordan's voice echoing through my brain...

  "Leah, I love you but sweetie, you're just not exactly a 'looker'. You're mighty fine to me though, and that's all that matters."

I thought about my Ex's cruel words, that seemed to find a way to brand themselves into my conscious as "true" instead of "words of a thought-less b*****d." There was no way Drew would want a relationship with me, he just wants  a friend.

   Here I am a week later. I've got his number in my cell phone's contact list, yet i have not yet once tried to reach him. I need to be brave. I need to do this. But right as I was about to hit "call", someone called me. I answered it, and as soon as I heard the voice on the other end, I felt myself sink away out of existence.

   "Leah. It's Jordan. How you been?" The voice of the devil was n my ear.

   "Fine, and you?" I answered, feeling very unsure of myself.

   "Missing you, baby. My bed is cold without you in it," those words smashed my heart into a brick wall. 

   "Jordan, YOU broke up with ME. You broke my heart," I answered weakly.

  " I know, I'm sorry. But babe, we belong together. You even said it yourself," He said, his voice having a slight whine to it.

  "Jordan, no. And....well....there might be someone new in my life," wow I'm dumb.

  "Someone NEW? Ha ha, oh sweetie pie, you know that no matter who this "new guy" is, he'll never love you like I did, if he ever even loves you at all. Honey, he probably just wants to be friends. Don't get ahead of yourself."

                       His words had found another way to stick.

"F**k you, you a*****e. You're a stupid loser, and I was always faking it," I spat as I hung up the phone.

              I cried. I knew he was probably right. I avoided calling Drew.

  A few days had passed, and while Drew was on my mind, my confidence level was at a zero. Besides, I was busy with work.

    I was on my way to work one morning, when I happened to catch a glimpse at the newest edition of Cosmopolitan. I decided to pick it up and get a quick read in before I was late. I was skimming through the words of black and white, when an article stood out to me: How to Take Chances in Your Love Life by Drew Paxton. It couldn't be....my Drew....could it? As I read through the article, it talked about how alot of people lose their ambition and motivation for dating, because of past, bad relationships. It spotlighted on people who are afraid of getting hurt again, so they avoid love completely. The author added in towards the end of the article that he believed taking chances was the first step in self-improvement for your love-life. The article spoke to me, and as I turned to the glossary of authors I found his name, accompanied by a picture. Those turquoise eyes seemed to be staring directly as me as I felt a new wind of gusto take over me. I smiled as I set the magazine down and continued on my way to work.

                              I knew who I was going to call later. 

 

Reviews

[Rose of Gondor]

Totally true. I can't say I have experience (because I don't) in relationships, but this is totally true. People are afraid of getting hurt again, so avoid relationships altogether.