Iron wall

Because a wall is better than a gate.

Someone told me,
build a gate around your heart
and let whosoever in
who has the key to the lock.

But, oh! The world does many blunders!

then sits around and watches its wonders.

So, one fine day merely came,

and this sole person reached and climbed up this gate,

stole the treasures he wanted to take.

Never returned, I solely grieved
Tell me,
Isn't it better to have an iron wall 
which can't be breached?

Author's Note

Hey there, Readers! I'm a writer who's 13 and needs to be improved! Criticism is welcomed.

Reviews

[Veronica Staehle]

Well this is excellent and questions the same notion I wonder myself sometimes too.

I might suggest the line of "so, one fine day merely came, and one person reached and climbed up this gate"
Instead of recycling "one" twice in a row- I would replace the second "one" for- "and this person" or "and a person."

[Dark_Poet]

I'm really glad you took the time to read and comment on this poem! :). Yes, you're right. I will soon change that!! Thanks a bunch or telling me!! :D

[Bland]

While short, this is definitely moving. Well done.

[Dark_Poet]

I'm really glad you find this moving :) Thankyou for reading!! I'm really glad that you did!!