Summer Sun

Summer Sun

A Poem by Dark_Poet
"

'Because the Summer sprung with winter beneath it.'

"

Tired of the everyday bickering, One girl, Summer Lauren wrote,

Beneath a smile, there's a frown

The world laughs at you and sees you as a clown.

I'm lonely I'm sad,

With deeds so bad.

But my heart so cold

The emotions untold

Because on my face is summer,

But beneath me is winter.

......................................................................................................

On one fine day, Summer Lauren again wrote,

I smiled at the morning sun shine,
Because this was the day,
I was going to be the kind,
Everyone would want to be.

Everyday, every moment 
Felt the same
But this time, 
I knew happiness was knocking and it had came.

I'm so happy that I'm going there,
I'm wearing my best clothes,
With a fat grin and a mighty glow.
Because you won't believe this opportunity has been given to me
To see,
Happiness and truth in its glee.

The feeling's coming over
And I know I have to go by dawn
To a place which is never known 
Or where some people have only gone
It's a place full of happiness and full of joy
Believe me, it's the best experience a person can enjoy

You'll love being here,
With me beside you.
To tell you the stories ,
Some old and some new.
Because it's a homey place so good and so cute,
It's a place with happiness and for you to laugh and be amused.

I know you want to know the place, where I'm going.
But it's a big secret,
Don't tell anyone.
That I'm escaping and won't regret,
I'm going to a place ,
Which is called death.

-Summer Lauren

.......

She was happy
Even then she was sad
When the summer season came 
All became bad
Because they remembered pretty Summer Lauren
And all said
She was the reason behind all threats
She was the water behind the heat
She was the withered tree behind the beautiful amber
She was the winter beneath the summer.
.........

And so at her graveyard
Even though she had done so many good works
Their were only 2 people beside her death and birth
Her sister and her mother
Were only there
To care over her dead lying body
Which would be there forever.


......................

© 2016 Dark_Poet


Author's Note

Dark_Poet
Hey there, readers! I'm 13 and need a lot f improvement!! Criticism is welcomed. This work is also published on a site named wattpad.

My Review

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Featured Review

Well done! I wish I could have written this when I was 13. Can I give you a few suggestions without being too specific . You should consider hard whether you want to rhyme. Putting in words just to keep the rhyme can spoil the meaning. I feel that you could condense this quite a lot. You would need to work quite hard to root out repetition and kick out words that are just taking up space. If you look at one of my poems you will see plenty of examples of this! Keep at it you have lots good to work with.
Alan

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dark_Poet

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading this, Alan! I really appreciate your comment and you really are right!.. read more



Reviews

Well done! I wish I could have written this when I was 13. Can I give you a few suggestions without being too specific . You should consider hard whether you want to rhyme. Putting in words just to keep the rhyme can spoil the meaning. I feel that you could condense this quite a lot. You would need to work quite hard to root out repetition and kick out words that are just taking up space. If you look at one of my poems you will see plenty of examples of this! Keep at it you have lots good to work with.
Alan

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dark_Poet

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading this, Alan! I really appreciate your comment and you really are right!.. read more

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162 Views
1 Review
Added on March 27, 2016
Last Updated on March 27, 2016
Tags: Poem, story, short, sad, death

Author

Dark_Poet
Dark_Poet

New Delhi, DL, India



About
Heartbroken. Girl. Hipster chick. Young. writer. multitalented. multitasking. (Can't find any more adjectives!) more..

Writing
I learnt I learnt

A Poem by Dark_Poet