If Underwear Could Talk

If Underwear Could Talk

A Poem by Eric Darsie

Trying to do a half serious/half comedy (more on the comedy side) for this poem and trying to branch out and try writing on different topics.


If Underwear Could Talk


If underwear could talk,

What would yours say about you?

Would mine appreciate its bath,

After all those kisses I gave?

Could the old, holey pairs be accepting,

When new pairs are brought home?


Underwear do speak volumes, indeed.

Vocally and non-verbally, collected by my eyes.

All the turns my eyes took there,

Only stopped to catch their breath.

Your undies are flirtatious, for sure,

Teasing my eyes and hands, begging for attention.


If underwear could talk,

Would it cry when old ones get thrown in the trash?

When there’s a rip in the seam,

How painful is it for the pair, not being patched up?

For all those eyes that look,

Does it hurt the feelings of your underwear?


Being pilled up on the floor, relaxing some.

Breathing freely, not securing something personal.

Tight- and loose-fitting, really doesn’t matter.

Enjoying what I see, ecstasy filled memories.

Doing it once more for the good times,

Modeling it up for the world to see.


If your underwear could talk,

Would it say nothing but positive memories?

If your underwear spoke,

Could it hate all that happened in them?

If your underwear talked,

How colorful would they’re language be?


Brought to my attention, by how tight they are.

Blood circulation stopped, thanks for the gift.

The wrapping of the present, what lies underneath?

My hands are nervous, bouncing all around.

It’s not Christmas, nor is it my birthday.

Yet, the best present you ever gave.


If my underwear could talk,

I’m afraid of what they’ll mention.

If my underwear spoke,

Would I be doing hard times?

If my underwear talked,

What would be left underneath?


Underwear does talk,

We often hear the conversation with our eyes.

Speaks volumes to tons of people,

Different to all, tastes aren’t all the same.

Our underwear do talk,

And we control what it says.

If your underwear spoke,

What would it say?

© 2013 Eric Darsie

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Added on September 1, 2013
Last Updated on September 1, 2013
Tags: underwear


Eric Darsie
Eric Darsie

St. Cloud, MN

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