A kid

Letting some steam out [WARNING!] This one is very emo and s**t.

So you tell me to make friends and meet new people but every time I try I'm faced with blank responses. I could never find someone with whom I can be myself and not to care for my words with a fear of hurting and when I do I fail to care. Whenever someone new appears I just toss them aside I fail to show any interest why am I like this? Why does life has to mess with me, I can't bear myself. I cannot take this place anymore. Why am I this much of a human waste, can't I have some release AM I SOME KIND OF DISEASE. I can't taste anything. Writing letters and punching walls seems to be all I can do to take it away. The lives I live inside my mind, maybe I can't have anything more. Maybe the odds are telling me to die but was I ever alive. I'm the one who chose my path, I don't want to feel this hate. We all say we are different but they find someone who understands why haven't I?! I don't know what to do. Can't somebody help me? The only friend I ever had lives inside my head.