Sir

What do you do when living the dream ain't so dreamy
And all your friends just grew dreary
All this passion has worn me out
I still feel like I want to talk, but I don't know what about

Always living between two places
And I'm always falling from someone's graces
Who knows where they'll hang my tombstone
I imagine I'll rest somewhere the flowers don't grow

Watch as the dust settles on my ambition
Just as the sun settles on my old depression
I had an uncle named Nihilism
He married my Aunt, Skepticism as an act of realism

Is it poetic justice, the way I've fizzled out
Or is it just natural that I face this drought
Am I really alone, or do I not notice her
I miss the days when she smiled and called me sir

Reviews

[Jeremy]

Your poem of boredom and disillusionment actually affects the poem in a somewhat negative way. The poem has a "Why bother" sentiment, which is probably the mood you were in when writing it. I've had those moments many times. It's hard to find motivation and interest when the feeling just isn't there. I think you're a really good writer, I just think the feelings you're trying to convey overpower the enjoyment factor.

My advice would be to look into surrealism when you have those lethargic days. Just let random ideas drop on the page - it might inspire you to write something you're interested in.

[David-Tyler]

Thanks for the critique! Definitely great advice

[Matthew Kult]

Lonely annoyed

Great Read

Matthew