Sealed

The elevator’s sealed its lips.

It keeps its secrets well.

Inside might hunch a nameless face,

I really cannot tell.

To stand, a pair, so silently,

Bound in an unvoiced pact,

Is sore and heavy awkwardness

Light coughing can’t redact.

An almost empty iron box

Is crushing loneliness,

Better to take on dozens next,

Shame smothered in that press.

Anonymity’s a heavy weight

To carry between two,

But shrouded multitudes can share

Whatever burdens you.

Reviews

[Ookpik]

This is nice - strong first line and an interesting image.

The rhyme scheme adds a strong emphasis to the 'pair' concept and the quatrain structure reflects the tight rigidity of an uncomfortable elevator. It's almost as if the matched rhymes in each stanza are awkwardly greeting each other in the same manner that the poem's subjects are.

Well done w/this one, it was a pleasure to read.

-Ook