The Industrious Vampire

The vampire walked down the cobblestone road and found the world that he lived in to be quite ridiculous. He wanted to be more productive like those people around him, but he also wanted to be enthusiastic. The productive workers were human of course. He had nothing but dry contempt for humans, as they had for cows. And he didn’t want to compare himself to a human anymore than a human wanted to compare himself to a cow.

 

He met with a crude older business man for a job. The old man was uncouth and unkempt; his hands smelt of strange things. And yet the older man was wealthy. This clashed with the vampire’s ideals with what type of person should have wealth. It wouldn’t have been the older man. The older man asked him rather rudely as to why he should hire the vampire.

 

“I believe you want to ask me how I qualify for the job.” The vampire said. “In which case I gave your secretary my resume. I don’t have much work experience but I have what some would call classical training, or classical knowledge.”

 

“Doesn’t mean a damn thing to me boy.” The older man said. “I want to know why I should hire you. Your resume said nothing about your work ethic. I want to know about that.”

 

The vampire was insulted by the man’s tone and arrogance. The vampire determined that this was not the way that you speak to a fellow, had he been one, human being. He flung across the table and dug his fingers through the old man’s neck and then up underneath his jaw. And then in a quick movement he tore the old man’s head off and slung it across the room. The head flattened and caved in on itself and blood was lightly splattered on the wall behind it.

 

The vampire was indeed disappointed. His standards didn’t always make for the most productive decisions. He would still have to search for employment. He did long for pleasurable employment but he didn’t mind the wait.