The Practice Run

The thunder was rumbling overhead

As we walked toward the church,

I whispered, ‘What are you doing, girl,

Are you leaving me in the lurch?’

She looked so fine in her wedding dress

But her face was set in a frown,

‘You had your chance,’ she gave me a glance,

‘You’re always letting me down.’

 

I wasn’t supposed to be there so

Her father gave me a nudge,

‘Sit at the back if you really must!’

He’d always carried a grudge.

‘I couldn’t sit by to see her tie

Herself to that freak, d’you hear?’

‘Just make a sound and I’ll knock you down

And throw you out on your ear!’

 

I looked at the six foot three of him

And knew he meant what he said,

But I couldn’t part from Josephine

In truth, I’d rather be dead,

The thunder rumbled and lightning cracked

Exploded the Wishing Tree,

Dropped it across the Vestry path

As if it was meant for me.

 

The tree had blocked us off from the Church

As the rain came pelting down,

Josephine raised the front of her skirt

And screamed, ‘We’re going to drown!’

We turned and ran way back to the car

But they locked me out in the rain,

And Josephine turned her eyes away

For my face was racked with pain.

 

My clothes were sodden, my hair was drenched

As I wondered what to do,

‘What can I say to change your mind,

To prove my love for you?’

She wound the window a tiny way,

Said, ‘This is a practice run,

The wedding’s not until Saturday,

And by God, you’d better come!’

 

She’d planned it all and had set me up,

Her father sat and grinned,

‘I’ll be along with a shotgun, so

You’d better be there, my friend!’

I danced out there in my soaking suit

As the rain streamed down my face,

The ‘freak’ was simply a cousin of hers

I’d thought was taking my place.

 

She told me we were having a son

Just after I said, ‘I do!’

I said, ‘Well aren’t you the sneaky one,

Why didn’t you tell me? True!’

She waited ‘til the reception, then

She really took me to task,

I asked her, ‘What of the practice run?’

‘I thought that you’d never ask!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

Why that sneaky little girl. The guy should have used a condom

[Marie]

David, I read this twice, and I couldn't understant it. I'm sure the fault lies with me...

[David Lewis Paget]

It's fairly simple, Marie. The guy comes upon his girlfriend, who he thinks has dumped him for a 'freak', heading to church in her wedding dress, her father in tow. He thinks she's going to marry the other guy, but she's set this up to get him to take her seriously, and propose marriage. The fact that she's pregnant has prompted this, because he's never thought to ask her before.

[Marie]

Yes, it should be simple. The fact is, I had a vicious headache while I was reading this and could barey see the words.

[A. Amos]

Another master piece and again i was feeling the tale.