Dear Agony

Something i came up with while listening to the song Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin and letting my mind run wild.

A young man, no more than early 20s sits looking out over the valley below him. His heart almost feels like a lead weight had replaced it; heavy and constricted. He knows that he has done the right thing, but it still doesn't stop the ache... The burning feel of betrayal and hopelessness. But she is worth it, she is worth everything to him. If it meant that she would survive then he would do it over and over again. He would surrender to the enemy and allow them to take his life. Over and over again.

It had been a trade; his life, the life of a prince, for the girl he loved so dearly. For the girl he had hoped to marry one day. But alas it was not meant to be, they had gotten her, and through her they had gotten him.

For some reason unknown to him they had allowed him this day of freedom, albeit a limited freedom. He was allowed no where but this pleateu, from which he could look out over the lands that were meant to one day be his.

This would be simpler if he had not known the cause behind it all. If he had not known the one who had sold him out and given the barbarians his love. It had been his childhood friend, the one whom he had met over the castle walls; begging for food. The one he had begged his father to allow into the castle, to allow the hungry child to live there and be a friend to the lonely prince. The one he had grown to love as a brother.

A brother that had betrayed him.

So now he sat and watched as the sun began its inevitable decent through the heavens and towards the land of men. The man wished that this pain, this agony would just let him go. Let him die peacefully. He was sorry, so sorry for many a thing. But he would never regret this. Never regret making friends and bringing that street boy into his life; never regret falling in love with the beautiful girl, a Courtmans daughter from a neighboring land.

He was sorry that he had failed his Father and was now willingly walking to his grave, leaving what was to soon be his country, in the hands of his rapidly aging Father with no heir and besieged by war; he was sorry that he would never come to marry his love, or see their own children grow.

All this and much more traveled through the young mans mind as he sat, and slowly the ache in his chest lessened and a numb calmness took him. Soon they would come for him and he would die, soon the pains of living would be no more. Yet he no longer cared, he had found peace within himself. Found serenity through the labyrinth of doubts and thoughts.

The sun reached the edge of the land and armored footsteps could be heard approaching the man. Soon strong soldiers were around him, ordering him to his feet.

He followed without complaint or hesitation as they marched him towards the center of the pleatue where the block had been set.

That block would be the end for him. Yet even that failed to crease the calm that had befallen him. As he walked he saw her; his love. She was weeping and wouldn't meet his eyes. Beside her was the one that had betrayed him. As they met eyes the young man thought he could see something akin to regret in his adopted-brother's eyes.

“Do not weep love.” The you man spoke as he knelled before the block, “We will meet again one day.”

Finally she looks at him, eyes ringed red and puffy. She looks at his calm face and more tears slide down her pale cheeks.

“Please my love, fight them. Do not give in!” She pleads, pulling against her confines without success.

The young man shakes his head softly.

“This is my fate, I will accept it with dignity and without fear. When I told you of my love for you I vowed to protect you. And I shall, even if it be with my death.”

She falls to her knees and violent sobs shake her body as she pleads to the heavens. Finally the young man is forced to place his head over the block, barring the back of his neck to the world. He keeps his eyes locked on the one he loves. Even now his calm has not been broken, his heart is steady and strong.

“My love for you is eternal. Remember this.”

Those are the last word the young man speaks, for soon after the heavy long sword comes down and his life ceases to be. A flock of sparrows take flight as the young woman's cries echo throughout the surrounding land.

Dear Agony; I have nothing left to give. I have found the perfect end. Disappear into the dead... Carry me into Heavens arms... I will end where I began... I feel nothing anymore... Dear Agony.

Author's Note

Please ignore any grammar or spelling errors. I would love some feed back though and would appreciate any comments on how to better my writing.

Reviews

[Josh121]

Yay!!! You finaly got seething up here for me to review. *ahem* time to review.

Great job. I can feel the song all through the story. It seems to be there just in the background. I was a bit confused with his last words but that might just be me. Still great job and keep on writing.

[Lena Rossmore]

very captivating! gripped me write from the start and a with a very strong story line!

[Perfect Mistake]

Very well written :) keep up the good work

[Dawn Writer]

Thanks everyone for the great Reviews, and to Josh for picking up on my little spelling hick at the end. all fixed now :) I am really glad that you guys liked it.

[Jack Isaac]

[random review] I get the feeling they will meet again in this story -- or, it will fast rewind to a time when they were together. The plateau is an interesting metaphor where all things come full circle, and "I will end where I began" seems to be what this concept is working up to. I think this story all there so far (barring grammar) and will work nicely as you keep going with it. Thanks for sharing this.

[DepthWriter]

This piece is intense; it has feeling (both positive/negative). It has an alluring depth to it; that some writers cannot grasp- though, you've done beautifully.
I tell everyone; in order to ''seduce'' a reader... they must envision themselves in what they write, and become part of it. You have masterfully, depicted this task!

[Distant horizons]

Beautifully written. has the feel of another time about it. excellent ending. great write.