C**k and Bull

Acts of Exchange

My first impulse is to say that its simply a common name given to pubs. Its an apt description of the experience of drinking beer … when our minds are in that way … creating association on issues … not directly related to each other. Its the place of the bardo … a Buddhist term … that's experienced as the natural poetic impulses of the sexual energies. Sexy bards? Well … I hope so … because the bardo does not lend itself to easy understanding … and would instead lead the reviewer … into a lunacy of the mind … between self and other … known and unknown.

This of course … has all the makings of a study into the state of the mind … when we are drunk. Primarily … its like the experience of dopamine … a drug that connects the nerves … and creates an experience of being together on issues. This when experienced with issues … that have been managed at being apart … creates an unusual state of peace and happiness … like being found when lost.

In the case of the c**k and bull … the expression illustrates the experience of the dopamine effect … which takes place indiscriminately … in joining up disparate parts of our experience to create a new sensation about ourselves. A cockerel has little relation to a bull … other than the obvious male experience suggested. Certainly its not … about the bull and its own prick … which of course implies … a self gratification experience by the bull. The distortion becomes apparent … when the c**k is perceived in reference to the cow … as if the bull … is the female experience … in a strange twist of personality.

But stranger things have been known to be suggested in the experience of the bardo. However in each of these situations … it implies the mind's engagement of its individual nature in the person … and the way in which … that's reflected in a manner selfless … to offer itself to the social environment or the world experience. It takes place in isolation … alone … and without a clear perspective … with regards to itself and others … that arises from early birth. Its wondrous at times … and on other occasions … can be the very pit of hell.

In reports of mood swings … associated with persons who are having depressive episodes … one notices … the indiscriminate manner in which the individual state of mind … swings between … high elation of experiences when the dopamine effect is active … and moody acrimony … when the dopamine is off. It works like a light switch in some people … switching on and off … in a pattern of behavior that is not unlike … anxiety … in the body … that we have offered to the world.

In my own experiences … and in my observation of them … I came to the conclusion … that my personality … was in that way … based entirely on self motivated gratification. And as a necessary extension … I appear to have volunteered to include the relation to others … as courtesy. It led to many poorly disguised experiences of concern for others … love … and charity … when I was actually entirely concerned with my own self advancement. Its a little like keeping one's resume up-dated … as a lifestyle.

Well … it got to a point of being a little flimsy … and I began to be concerned about real values in life and so forth. So I had begun an attempt at … making a greater effort with my relationships … and the values I came to place on my perceptions by the contact of social natures and the experience of humanity. It began with a period of inquiry into my motivation … and I thought it fairly represented the conscience of a man … who has received much in the nature of gifts from society.

It all got to a point of giving back to society … what I had generously received. And in the years … in which I was engaged in lecturing at college … I made a special effort to reach the students and to respond specifically to their needs for learning. It helped me to be effective at what I was doing … and it enabled me to understand the many blocks we have we regards to the learning experience. I found later … in typical self concern … that it was also a matter of great gain for me in my career.

I came away from my intense experience of the phenomenon … with the understanding that no man … is so selfless that way. I began to coin phrases that suited my temperament on the issues … and this one that says … ' What's good for one is also good for all … and what's good for all is also good for one ' … said it well. It eased the pains of the conscience regarding my attitudes … and I began a gradual recovery into a sense of the norm about these things … and stopped beating up on myself.

So have I gained a greater handling of my … self motivated gratifications? I found that its a little like … coming across a porcelain doll of a lady in a gift shop … and paying money to make my purchase of it. Firstly … in assigning my interest to the doll … as a representation of something in my imagination … I have gained a physical experience of it … while losing its internal effect. And in paying with money … I had indicated my commitment to … affirm my act of exchange in that way.

In extending that principle to all that we do … we come into a great field of inter-related emotions … that's like a hill of straw in our passions. We can … as the ascetics do … take out each straw at a time … examine it … and later put it all back together again. Perhaps we might do that … with some refinement to its existing arrangement … in the light of the advances we have experienced … in human thought. On the other hand … a layman … is more likely … to tweak at the experience as much as they can … but leave the real work of re-construction to a future date … perhaps in another life.

It is a testament to the common nature of man … when we create acceptance … for something in our passions … that appears to be the work of someone else. For instance … in growing up in a Hindu society … my experience of the Christian ethic … that came freely in my nature … made me wonder and create appreciation for the work of someone else … in our common experience of community around the world. We need to allow for that … and to apply ourselves to its appreciation … granted that its a huge hill of issues for any one person to deal with.

In creating such an experience … we find ourselves in the strange position … of the individual gratification of our lives … where we are unable to determine if they are truly selfish in that way … or … whether they were organized … on the basis of implied consensus … to include the elements of self interest and gain. And suddenly I find that I've been fussing about nothing … in my moral nature … other than to create an opportunity … to understand it better. Curious thing! The self … and the world of humankind.

The expression … ' Hail the world conqueror ' … that was attributed to the founding Kings and Emperors of world empires … comes to my mind today … as a term that is not … patently referring to one individual achievement. It brings us to consider our part … in the universal and global scheme of things … and exhorts us to do our part well. And perhaps that is what truly matters … in the way we deal with these things.