Endless Summer

"In the winter of my life, these men were my only summer." - Lana Del Rey

I remember long days fading to night as my youth disintegrated into the lights on the beach

I remember heavy hearts dragging mine through the sand, pushing and laughing

I remember dazy sunsets blazing throughtout my eyes following to the end of my spine, as the waves to my soul

I remember wanting to die for these stars in hope of becoming one

I remember dancing to the beat of the aching trees and the wind they fought, huffing and howling

I remember feeling as if the world was no more, me and these moments entangled

I remember lifting and capturing souls and dreams,

absorbing the energy of others,

While losing my own

I remember reflecting against the sun and thinking the worst of myself,

the sun gazing in question.

I remember gazing back,

lost in it's deadly yet ineffable stare

I remember staring into it's sky for answers of my fate,

Suprised at it's response

I remember seeing my doubt burned away by the Sun's energy,

Still doubtful yet excited

I remember telling the sun to give up,

to let me and my doubt be

Against my stong urge to rebel

I remember hopeless nights like these all the time,

Haunting and dazzling,

Spinning me out of control into an endless summer

I remember glancing down at the ocean for assurance of my decisions,

Stumbling into it as I noted that even the most beautiful thing can be deadly and that,

that chance is the only thing that keeps us from total ephemeral joy