Fingerprints

It's easy to run away. Unless its from yourself.

Fingerprints

By

Darrel Draper.

Are you living or just existing?

Synopsis: Three central characters Mother, Father and Son torn apart, trapped in their own existence. Obsessive compulsives who’s negativity has had a dominoes effect on each other, in particular most effected Alex an 18 year old boy who struggles to see past his daunting future, the only thing that gives him hope is his girlfriend, his sunshine and love of his life Hazel, she in many ways is his obsession mixed with his want to be acknowledged by the world, however his world is pulled out of balance when his biggest fear is realized, Hazel decides she wants more out of life, things Alex knows he cannot give her. Alex is left with a mirror reflection of himself in which he cannot escape. He gives in to his fate.

Characters:

Alex: 18, wears quirky shirts to reiterate his wit and intelligence. He’s clearly a deep thinker but sometimes strays away from the moment, making him appear a little self-centered at times. He revolves his life around his girlfriend and his first love, writing. The thing that scares him most is the future.

Chris and Aaron: Two of Alex’s mates who become almost his psychiatrists as they also battle the dilemmas of their own lifes, who Alex views as inferior to his own, of course subconscious.

Hazel: 18, sensible and down to earth has a clearer prospective of life than Alex, she is more direct with her thoughts and upkeeps a positive attitude. Unlike Alex her home life is a very important aspect of her life, she loves her family and loves to spend time with them as much as she does Alex.

Fern: 16, Hazel’s sister, is spoken about more than seen. Has a clear dislike for Alex due to past events.

Caroline: Alex’s mum, 46, Grumpy, obsessed with the deteriation of the home she fells imprisoned in, constantly cleaning to take her mind off the mental torture she subjects herself to. She sees aspects of her ex partner in Alex and cannot stand it, as her way of life is unlike anyone else’s.

Steve: Alex’s dad, 42, an alcoholic who has forsaken his talent to play the guitar due to his drinking problem, he has also forsaken his responsibilities as a father throughout the years Alex was growing up. Steve is an honest and self-aware man even in his inebriated state and has completely different views on life than Caroline.

Frank and Gary: Two men in their late 30’s who ponse off Steve and take his hospitality for granted and take advantage of his current state.

Jamie: Alex’s half brother, 20, is spoken about more than seen. His father is a successful business man, his mention raises Alex’s own insecurities and paranoire.

Sarah: 30, Caroline’s downstairs neighbor, leads a very meaningless existence but seems happy within herself, a sufferer of MS who never complains about her condition.

Mitch: 18, is Sarah’s nephew and sole carer of her, he seems to be empty with no personality, he gives off an ora of drab.

Staging:

Act one

Scene one: Park.

Scene Two: Alex’s bedroom.

Scene Three: Steve’s Apartment.

Scene Four: Pub.

Scene Five: Sarah’s Living Room.

Act Two

Scene six: Hazel’s bedroom.

Scene Seven: Alex’s bedroom.

Scene Eight: Outside Hazel’s House.

Scene Nine: Steve’s Apartment.

Scene Ten: Alex’s bedroom.

Scene Eleven: Pub.

Scene Twelve: Shed.

Act One. Scene One. The Grass Is Greener.

(Park setting. Warm- wash lighting to express sunshine as Alex and Hazel sits legs crossed on some Astroturf. Alex pulls at the Astroturf. A blanket’s laid out with a hamper of food. There’s a silence, faint sounds of the wind and birds creep through. Alex has a novelty shirt on “I , ‘S”)

ALEX: You’re quiet.

HAZEL: Sorry just thinking.

ALEX: What about?

HAZEL: Things in general.

ALEX: I should have put some sun cream on; I can feel my neck burning.

HAZEL: It is a bit red.

ALEX: Its because im so pal.

HAZEL: So am I.

ALEX: I never tan.

HAZEL: Me neither. There’s nothing wrong with being pal, back in Victorian times paleness expressed wealth.

ALEX: Some people are so lucky, my mate spends five minutes in the son and you’d think his name was Julio.

HAZEL: if you were rich or royalty you’d have servants hold parasols over you when you went out in the sunlight. So you wouldn’t burn. It’s a shame we weren’t born back then.

ALEX: Being rich doesn’t sound bad but im not sure I could live in those days.

HAZEL: I’d love to live in the olden days.

ALEX: Maybe I should get a spray tan or go on a sun bed.

HAZEL: I just love the way they dressed back then, the lifestyle. History’s always been my favorite subject.

ALEX: Do you think I’d look good with a tan?

HAZEL: Stop worrying! You look fine.

ALEX: Sorry. I think that’s why I’ve never been into history; it’s irrelevant to me.

HAZEL: (Sniggers) Irrelevant. We come from generations of people, if it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t be sitting here now.

ALEX: Yeah im just saying, as a writer I want to document the here and now.

HAZEL: That’s all history is. Somone one day will look back on us, not US specifically but…

ALEX: Yeah I know, im just…..I can read about the wars and the plague but, I don’t feel anything coz, I have no personal recollection of those events.

HAZEL: That’s why you read surely. (Referring to him pulling up the grass) You’re like a child.

ALEX: It’s a habit.

HAZEL: You’re so destructive.

ALEX: How am I?

HAZEL: Tearing it up!

ALEX: It’ll grow back. You’ve got no habits?

HAZEL: I didn’t say I didn’t silly.

ALEX: You have to wash you’re hands every time you sneeze.

HAZEL: That’s not a habit, its just hygiene.

ALEX: Do you think I care?

HAZEL: In what way.

ALEX: If you sneeze and I hold you’re hand. It doesn’t bother me.

HAZEL: (Laughs) Awwwww, that’s sweet in a, sort of sick way.

ALEX: Why is it sick? It’s not sick.

HAZEL: I was just joking.

ALEX: You know our sweat leeks into each other’s pores when we hold hands anyway.

HAZEL: (Sarcastic) Pleasant thought. Stop pulling up the grass!

ALEX: Ok! Sorry. (He grabs hold of her hand, she seems slightly uncomfortable, he lies back on her placing his other hand on her stomach, she runs her fingers through her hair) Remember the willow tree in my back garden, I’d spend hours, well not hours but a lot of minutes looking out my window at it. It was huge! Remember, I couldn’t see anything else but IT when I looked out the window. I played Tarzan and swung from the branches and stringy leaves that hung down like vines, you were Jane.

HAZEL: Jamie made a good monkey. He made me laugh.

ALEX: He’s too busy for us now. They used to snap off and cover the grass and mum would come out have a moan and pick them up and throw them over the back, but I kept doing it. I remember that day I asked dad to take me to see the wind and the willows, so he took me outside when it was windy, cheeky b*****d, he never did take me to see that film. I had to wait til it came on the Tele.

HAZEL: I saw that film, it was my birthday. We went kids kingdom after.

ALEX: Where was I?

HAZEL: I don’t know. It was my seventh. Perhaps we weren’t so close then.

ALEX: I’ve never been Kids kingdom.

HAZEL: Never!

ALEX: No.

HAZEL: You haven’t lived boy. (Shivers) It’s got chilly.

ALEX: (Embraces her tight) I’ll warm you up.

HAZEL: (Pushes away) Just want to put my cardigan back on. (Puts cardigan on, remains sat up. Pause)

ALEX: I almost forget I had a willow tree; it just shot back into my head. It scared the s**t out of me at night though, doesn’t help I have a blind, I think it was my spotlight, turned it into an evil silhouette, but I could never sleep without it on, I do now obviously. Then mum had it cut down to a stump and all I was left with was a pile of mushrooms, then mum moaned at that.

HAZEL: (Jokes) You could have boiled them, had them for dinner.

ALEX: They weren’t really mushrooms, fungi.

HAZEL: Yeah I knew what you meant. (Looks up) It’s coming over a bit grey.

ALEX: Every time we went over the park and I got woodchip from the climbing frames in my shoes I’d always feel a bit sad.

HAZEL: It was beautiful.

ALEX: It makes me laugh though when these hippy protesters campaign against the cutting down of trees and their holding banners and placards on two by fours, painted with paints and pens brought with what, money, where does money come from? How did they get their clothes? They should just turn up butt naked and carve the words into themselves. You see a newspaper headline “Save the rainforest” or some s**t, the same newspaper manufactured a hundred thousand times. That’s a paradox. I mean, if you’re going to protest against something don’t be a hypocrite about it.

HAZEL: You trying to say im a hippy?

ALEX: Course not. I love you.

HAZEL: Love you too. (They kiss, Alex seems to be leading it, she pulls away) Did you feel that? Think it’s spitting?

ALEX: What about when it chucked it down that day, thundered and we ran to the shed, plaid monopoly until my dad came got us. I miss our den.

HAZEL: I remember, you made my sister cry.

ALEX: She was gullible. There’s nothing in their now, no carpet, no sofa bed.

HAZEL: It was old. Smelled a little.

ALEX: Just got the dartboard up. But I never go down there anymore.

HAZEL: We’re too old. Have you seen you’re dad lately?

ALEX: Not recently.

HAZEL: Awwww, I think it’s sad you’re not close.

ALEX: We never were to be honest. Even when he lived with us. My brother, my half brother, I haven’t seen him or heard from him in like, four, five years, probably longer than that, to be honest I miss our hamster more, I always get a card on my birthday, mum gets one on hers and mothers day but that’s about it. Im going to be the bigger man and try and get in contact with him through facebook.

HAZEL: That’s a good idea. I couldn’t live without my dad or mum and sister, obviously we fight but we always make up. Can’t wait for our holiday.

ALEX: Are you going to miss me?

HAZEL: Obviously silly.

ALEX: Im not silly. Im not going to see you for two weeks, two weeks is a long time.

HAZEL: It’ll go quick.

ALEX: For you, you’ll be doing exciting things I’ll be stuck in my room.

HAZEL: Just don’t think about it.

ALEX: Im going to get a lot of writing done.

HAZEL: There’s an upside.

ALEX: I wrote a poem the other day, I called it a day in the park. Do you want to hear it?

HAZEL: If you want.

ALEX: Only “if you want” to hear it.

HAZEL: Yes.

ALEX: It goes. I dreamt of a day in the park,

Grass as green as your eyes,

Flowers as red as your lips,

Together on a bench we sit.

For hours we watch the swans,

They glide so perfect across,

The glary watery surface,

A reflector of our love.

As the sun fades and people pass,

We remain fixed in time,

In an embrace so ignorant,

How long can this bliss last?

New flowers flourish as others must die.

Will our stem stay strong?

Or is the wind just too harsh.

One thing I know,

Above all certainly,

When I fall asleep,

This is what I’ll dream of.

A day in the park.

HAZEL: That’s really good.

ALEX: Honest.

HAZEL: Yes!

ALEX: I wrote it for you.

HAZEL: You should send it away or something.

ALEX: But its for you. (Pause) When I’ve got lots of money im going to book a cruise, just you, and me, we’ll see so much, do so much together. That’s what its about, the poem.

HAZEL: (Smiles) Cant wait.

ALEX: Im being serious. Anywhere you want to go.

HAZEL: Anywhere?

ALEX: We’ll travel the world. The week before you go we’ve got to make the most of it, you can come round mine and I’ll come round yours and we’ll go out for a meal, see a film, try and spend as much time with each other before you go.

HAZEL: Im going to be very busy the week before, there’s a lot to sort out and I got my cousins and rest of the family all wanting to do something and coming round, but I’ll try. I’ll bring you something back. Any ideas?

ALEX: Bring me back some shells. Some funny shaped ones.

HAZEL: You can get shells from any beach.

ALEX: There’s only one beach I know. It’s a pebble beach. Bring me back some sand.

HAZEL: (Laughs) Yeah I’ll bring it back in my shoe. I’ll try and find a shell shaped like a heart. A token of my love.

ALEX: (Jokes) It better be a big shell then.

HAZEL: Of course. (They kiss. Hazel breaks away again, holding out her hand) It’s definitely spitting. Lets fold this up before it starts to really come down. (Begins to pack up the stuff)

ALEX: There might be a rainbow.

HAZEL: I don’t want to stick around to find out.

ALEX: I like the rain, it’s soothing. Sure beats getting burnt.

(Blackout. The sound of a bird chirping remains mixed with the pitter patter of raindrops against a window, the lights fade up to a dull prism bedroom setting as the outside light is blocked out by a blind rolled down the window, the sound effect dissolves expressing a new day as we’re left with Alex on stage by himself in his room, rubbing away at the back of his neck with irritation, he sits on a hard chair at a desk on a laptop, behind him is a comfortable looking leather sofa under a bunk bed, the bottom bunk taken out to fit in the sofa. He has a shelf with books, trophies and awards on)

Scene Two. Damp.

(His mother walks on, not knocking, she is in her night gown. Alex is non-complacent, he seems wrapped up in his laptop. He wears a shirt with a kit-kat on it that says in bold “GIVE ME A BREAK!” )

CAROLINE: How long you been up?

ALEX: Don’t know, it’s too hot up there.

CAROLINE: No I haven’t slept. Im surprised you didn’t hear me last night, in and out the toilet.

ALEX: No.

CAROLINE: Then you must have been asleep. You want tea?

ALEX: Ok. I can make it myself you know.

CAROLINE: (Walking back she reaches for the door handle) Use the handles! How many times, look, hand marks, everywhere you go, use the handles that’s what there for. (Scrubs the door handle with her night gown, before exiting. Alex’s concentration is fixed as his mother continues to talk from off stage, another room, she rambles to herself loud enough for him to hear) You better watch that electric! As soon as he wakes up he’s on that computer. Straight away, we’ll be on the emergency soon, im not putting any more money on that meter. (Pause. Loud scream) Argh! Today’s not going to be my day I can tell. For f**k sake!

ALEX: (Breaking his train of thought) What!

CAROLINE: The sugars gone everywhere! Its all over the floor. Don’t come out, we’ll be out of that soon, we’ll be out of everything.

ALEX: (To himself as he gives a sigh) I’ve just woke up.

CAROLINE: What? (Pause) What!

ALEX: Speaking to myself!

(Caroline walks back on with a cup of tea her hand shaking)

CAROLINE: Look, look, I can’t stop shaking. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Take it off me then! (Alex takes it off her and goes to put it down on the table) Wait! Where’s you’re mat?

ALEX: I haven’t got one.

CAROLINE: I’ll get you one. (She exits)

ALEX: Does it matter? (Placing it down, he carries on what he’s doing)

CAROLINE: (Off stage) Yes!

(Caroline walks back on with a Mat)

What did I say? (Lifting up his cup and placing the mat underneath)

ALEX: Mum!

CAROLINE: I’ll treat you’re clothes like that shall I.

ALEX: It didn’t leave a mark.

CAROLINE: I don’t care, you always have a mat. You can wash stains out of clothes but not furniture. I haven’t got the money to replace this you know.

ALEX: It’s not yours.

CAROLINE: Who paid for it?

ALEX: It’s my room! Im 18! You never knock; do you think my mates let their mum in and out their rooms?

CAROLINE: You don’t care. If it were up to you we’d be living in squalor. You know the gardeners came round the other day took one look at Mary’s garden and said “F**k me”, I laughed they didn’t realize I was behind them, he said “Oh sorry love I was just a bit taken back”, I know what he means, it’s a bloody mess, how can someone live like that? Its gonna cost her two hundred fifty pound. Two hundred and fifty pound! It serves her right for letting it get that bad, im sick of looking out my window and seeing it, I got her weeds growing through my fence and that bleeding cat’s out all the time meowing, she kept me up last night, poor sally, she’s cruel, I should report her to the RSPCA.

ALEX: Im not being horrible, but I just got up.

CAROLINE: You were up before me. Anyone passing would think she’s dead up there, the state she lives in. If she leaves that gate open one more time im going to post a note through her letterbox.

ALEX: I don’t think she gives a s**t mum.

CAROLINE: She should. If I could walk properly I’d be down that council to give them a piece of my mind, they were supposed to ring me back, never pissing did. Im not putting up with it any longer, im not, im sick and tired of sitting up here watching this place disintegrate, its alright for you, you can go out, im stuck up here looking at the damp, its disgusting. Look at it. I dread waking up sometimes.

ALEX: I have to sleep up there with it. It’s not that bad.

CAROLINE: Not that bad! I’ve never lived like this, its alright for you’re father he’s been living in s**t all his life, all he ever did was wet the furniture when he was here, that’s why we had to get rid of you’re old sofa bed, he pissed init. I’ve got pride and im not going to sit up here and look at that, its everywhere, its in my room, the hallways. What do they expect me to get up their and clean the sealing myself, I can barely move as it is. As if I could reach, I’ve shrunk six inches; my bones are crumbling away as it is.

ALEX: (Jokes) Get you’re six friends round. Im sure they’ll give you a hand.

CAROLINE: Ay?

ALEX: Snowhite and the seven dwarfs. (Laughs to himself)

CAROLINE: You think its funny? I think im starting to get that cabin fever.

ALEX: We don’t live in a cabin.

CAROLINE: But that’s how I feel. I never see you do anything.

ALEX: What do you want me to do?

CAROLINE: Wouldn’t hurt you to dust once in a while, its thick of it in here. Or put the hover through, I don’t think you’ve ever hovered this room have you?

ALEX: Its coz you always do it.

CAROLINE: I wouldn’t have to if you did it. And I’ve asked you I don’t know how many times to sort them draws out.

ALEX: You shouldn’t be in my draws. Their my draws, what if I had something private in their?

CAROLINE: Tot more like it.

ALEX: But you don’t have to look. Its not like I leave them open.

CAROLINE: You should have taken a painting and decorating course, instead of being on that 24/7, if I gave you a brush and some emollition you wouldn’t know where to begin.

ALEX: That won’t help.

CAROLINE: No I know. Im just saying. Its down to them, I told them I want a move. I know soon I’ll end up like Sarah downstairs, an invalid, bed ridden having people wait on me, well I don’t want that, not up here, im not living like this. She showed me a picture of herself before she got ill, she used to be ever so attractive, wore make-up. At least she has Andy to help her out.

ALEX: Mum.

CAROLINE: No Allex im not putting up with it.

ALEX: And I don’t want to sit on this chair anymore. It hurts my back.

CAROLINE: You’re on you’re computer.

ALEX: It’s a laptop mum; I can sit on the sofa and still use it.

CAROLINE: That’s not good for you’re back, you’ll get hump shoulders sitting on that more than you will that chair, you need something firm.

ALEX: Don’t tell me what I need. You wanted to get rid of that bottom bunk, now I’ve got to sleep up there, with that, its baking, heat rises and fancy getting a lime green blind, I might as well not have one, the light just falls right through. There’s so much glare off the TV, I can’t see, but no, everything has to be the way you like it. I don’t want them trophies up there like ornaments either.

CAROLINE: Well that wont matter coz I want out! And if I don’t get out soon I swear I’ll do something, I’ve never seen so many spiders in my life, cobwebs everywhere. Where are they coming from? I’d like to know, if you see one kill it, I don’t want them crawling around everywhere leaving their germs, I’ve got enough trouble cleaning up after you.

ALEX: (Snaps, mashes his keyboard and tugs at his hair) Mum! Shut up! Shut the f**k up! I’ve been up an hour and already you’ve started. Give me a freaking break, I can’t concentrate. Please, just give me a chance to wake up.

CAROLINE: (Pause) Its you I feel most sorry for, I know you shouldn’t have to live like this, as I said, I’ve had my life, its you who deserves better, but does he listen? No! You’re fathers a waste of space, always has been since the day I met him. Right, what are you going to have for breakfast?

ALEX: Well what have you got?

CAROLINE: Not a lot.

ALEX: (Aggravated grunt) What can I have?

CAROLINE: I’ll have a look. (She exits)

ALEX: (Under his breath) Yeah you do that. I feel like going back to bed already.

CAROLINE: (Rambling off stage) Maybe you should give you’re dad a ring, pop over there, he might give you some money. When was the last time you heard from him? I remember the last card he sent you, two Christmases ago, bloody charity shop card with brussel sprouts on the front, oh yeah very festive. He’s got a nerve. You can have cereal, spaghetti on toast, ham sandwich, pot noodle, oh no wait you had that the other day.

ALEX: What cereal!

CAROLINE: Come have a look yourself!

ALEX: I’ll just have a ham sandwich!

CAROLINE: (Walks back on) And if there’s a knock at the door later ignore it, I know Linda’s got the day off. I don’t want to listen to her problems, about her feeling depressed. She hasn’t got a clue.

ALEX: What if it’s someone else?

CAROLINE: Ignore it.

ALEX: What if it’s Hazel? She goes away soon.

CAROLINE: She knows how Ill I am.

ALEX: What’s that got to do with anything? I wont my girlfriend up.

CAROLINE: You can go round hers; she only lives five minutes away.

ALEX: I don’t care, im always going round there. Why cant she come up here?

CAROLINE: Only coz you cant prize her away from her family. When has she ever knocked here? You always have to chase after her.

ALEX: Only coz you make her feel uncomfortable.

CAROLINE: No I don’t!

ALEX: You’re in and out like a reverse YO-YO. I can’t get no privacy with you around.

CAROLINE: It’s not my fault we live in a flat. And when’s she’s up here I never know what to give her. I haven’t got anything vegetarian to give her.

ALEX: I’ll get something.

CAROLINE: Yeah, with my money.

ALEX: Shut up mum, you don’t like anyone up, come of it. Even your own family.

CAROLINE: I never go round there! We never get invited anywhere by them, why they always coming round here? Why always me? Linda’s bloody sons got a car, you’re saying he cant drive down here and pick me up, take me up their, I get fed up of these four walls, at least she’s got someone to take her places.

ALEX: That’s not my fault.

CAROLINE: Im not saying it is. But having a job wouldn’t hurt.

ALEX: Im going to get a job. As a writer. Im not going to just get any job and end up trapped in a 9-5 that leads nowhere.

CAROLINE: Well hurry up and finish whatever it is that you’re doing.

ALEX: It’s not just about finishing it.

CAROLINE: Well whatever.

ALEX: Look if you didn’t spend so much on f**s….

CAROLINE: That’s all I do, do. You want to take that away from me as well.

ALEX: Well don’t start on me.

CAROLINE: Im not. Im just saying. What are you going to have for breakfast, times getting on?

ALEX: I said!

CAROLINE: I’ve got a lot on my mind.

ALEX: Ham sandwich.

CAROLINE: Well this cereal’s got to be used up sometime.

ALEX: Argh! Just give me cereal then. I don’t care. For f**k sake. I bet Shakespeare never had to put up with this.

CAROLINE: Who!

ALEX: Never mind mum, just get my cereal, its only half ten and I’ve already got a headache.

CAROLINE: So have I, got a splitting headache. (She exits)

ALEX: Thanks for sharing it with me. I give up. (He slams down the screen of his laptop and shuts his door)

(Blackout. Set change, mangy living room. Alex’s dad is asleep in an arm chair, a cider bottle by his feet, empty cider bottles overflowing out of a black bin bag beside the chair next to a guitar stood up against the side. The place is a general mess, his dad has his friends up almost squatting)

Scene Three. Let Me Breath.

(Lights fade up to Alex’s dad snoring as his friends carry on a conversation smoking like chimneys, dropping their ash on the floor with no respect)

GARY: Could you pass us the ashtray?

FRANK: I’ve just been using this empty can.

(Frank passes Gary the ashtray off the coffee table in front of Steve)

GARY: Oh yeah I didn’t think of that. I just burnt a hole in my shirt.

FRANK: Ark at him there.

GARY: Sleeping beauty int he.

FRANK: At least he’s not at that guitar.

GARY: Shall we put some music on?

FRANK: He’ll wake up.

GARY: Na he could sleep through a nuclear war.

FRANK: I might nip down the offie in a minute. (Looking over at the cider bottle) Actually. (Creeps up to Steve’s arm chair and takes the cider bottle, Steve begins to stir, Frank coyly steps away with the bottle)

GARY: Im telling you, he won’t wake up to about three o’clock.

FRANK: (Pores him and Gary a glass) Yeah I might take a bath. Are my socks dry?

GARY: (Checking his socks on the radiator he’s sitting near by) The radiators not even on.

FRANK: Its not. I swear I turned the gas on.

GARY: Are you sure he’s got any?

FRANK: Now that’s a point. I guess that means my towel will still be soaked.

GARY: What did you do with that tenner he gave you the other day?

FRANK: Shhhhhh.

GARY: He can’t hear us. Steve. Steve. He’s gone. Well when he wakes up, tell him he needs money on that gas. It was freezing lying down here last night. I think there’s a draft somewhere.

FRANK: (Placing the bottle coyly back where it was) I felt that. Is the balcony door shut properly?

GARY: (Checking it) Yeah everything’s shut.

FRANK: Open the window just a crack, it smells a bit in here.

GARY: Its you’re feet!

FRANK: Oi, do you think we should hide his guitar? See if he notices.

GARY: Na leave it.

FRANK: C’mon it’ll be a laugh.

GARY: you know how he gets. He doesn’t even know what day it is.

FRANK: When was the last time you think he had a shave?

GARY: I used the last of the razors the other day. I think he’s going for the pirate look; he’s got the hoop earring and everything.

FRANK: (Laughs) Send him down the shop, make him stand outside, people will be throwing their money at him.

GARY: (Laughs) Yeah if you can get him out that chair. (There’s a knock at the door) S**t. Don’t answer it. (There’s another knock)

(A phone rings on the table in front of Steve)

FRANK: That’s his phone.

GARY: Leave it.

FRANK: I’ll just see who it is. (Looking at Steve’s phone) It’s Alex. I’ll answer it. (Answering the phone) Hello. Yeah he’s asleep at the moment mate. Oh you’re at the door now. Ok. Wait a second. (Hangs up the phone) That’s him. (Exits)

GARY: (Attempts to wake Steve up) Steve. Steve. (Prodding him) You’re sons here, Steve wake up.

(Frank walks back on with Alex. On Alex’s shirt is a optical board panning down the letters get less bold and begin to lose focus, at the bottom of the scale barely visible two words are formed out of the letters “F**k You”)

FRANK: It’s a bit of a mess mate.

ALEX: (Looks around) I can see that.

GARY: Alright mate. (Shakes Alex’s hand) Steve! Its you’re son. (Steve stir)

STEVE: What’s wrong?

GARY: Nothing, you’re sons here.

STEVE: (Opening his eyes) Oh hello son. How are ya? (Sits up with effort)

ALEX: All right.

STEVE: Good.

ALEX: Just thought I’d see what you were up to.

STEVE: You know me son. (Reaching for his bottle, he looks at it questioning as he notices its half empty)

ALEX: I rang you earlier. No answer.

GARY: Oh was that you earlier as well.

ALEX: Yeah.

FRANK: How you been?

ALEX: Not bad.

GARY: You still seeing that girl Al?

ALEX: Yeah. She’s on holiday at the moment.

GARY: How longs it been now?

ALEX: Well since we’ve been together, three years.

GARY: Three years! Jesus.

FRANK: You missing her?

ALEX: Yeah, it’s only been two days.

GARY: Three years, that’s a long time. Ya not bored?

ALEX: No.

STEVE: Course he’s not, he’s happy at home. With his mummy and his perfect life.

ALEX: Shut up. (Still standing as there’s nowhere else to sit)

STEVE: You slept with her yet.

FRANK: Steve! Don’t be so course.

STEVE: What he’s my son? Im allowed to ask him these things.

GARY: Yeah not in front of us.

STEVE: I don’t suppose she’s allowed up is she.

ALEX: Yeah, she came up the other day in fact.

STEVE: Did she? What did you cook her?

ALEX: What’s that matter?

STEVE: No I don’t suppose you did. You sat there and mummy brought it in on a tray with a towel. He has towel, he’s eighteen.

ALEX: How old are you?

STEVE: You don’t know how old I am? That’s nice he doesn’t know how old his father is. What’s my date of birth?

ALEX: What I was going to say was, at least I don’t have social workers sort my stuff out for me.

STEVE: Na coz you’re mother does everything for you. Tenth of the fourth nineteen ninety, that’s when you were born. I even remember the time.

ALEX: It’s amazing then you never remember to send a card.

STEVE: I don’t believe in cards you know that.

ALEX: You don’t believe in them. How ridiculous, if your not going to believe in something, at least choose something a little more gregarious.

STEVE: Ay! You just throw them away afterwards; they sit on the shelf a day and their binned. I’d rather give you fifty p.

ALEX: Just goes to show you how long it’s been since you’ve brought a card.

STEVE: Alright, What’s mine? Don’t try to change the subject (Pause) Go on, see he doesn’t know his own dads birthday.

FRANK: Yeah Chris doesn’t know my birthday.

STEVE: He’s eleven Frank.

FRANK: So.

GARY: Do you want to sit here mate?

ALEX: Na its ok.

GARY: You sure? I don’t mind standing.

ALEX: Im all right.

GARY: As long as you’re sure. Do you smoke Al?

ALEX: Na.

STEVE; He doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t drink. He’s a good boy, int ya son. What you been doing with yourself then boy?

ALEX: Just sending stuff off. I sent something away to the BBC, they’ve got this writers room, they read your work. So fingers crossed.

STEVE: (Squinting at Alex’s shirt) Am I drunk or does that say what I think it does?

ALEX: Both.

STEVE: No job yet.

ALEX: Have you got a job?

STEVE: I had a job at you’re age, I was working before that, sixteen I was working in a factory. I can’t afford to work now, simple as that. I got bills to pay, gas, electric, TV license.

FRANK: Yeah Steve, there’s nothing on the gas.

STEVE: I thought I put money on the gas.

ALEX: Me and mum have hardly got no money, we’re really struggling at the moment.

STEVE: Oh that’s what you’re after; I thought you’d just come to see me. What about you’re EMA?

ALEX: I don’t get EMA anymore; I told you that, I’ve finished college now.

GARY: What you get in the end?

ALEX: Triple distinction.

GARY: Is that good?

ALEX: It’s the best you can get. Im the only one who got a triple distinction.

GARY: Wow, well-done Al. What’s next?

ALEX: Don’t know. I might stay on another year; I haven’t got the money for uni at the moment. I can do a top up course and get a non repayable grant.

GARY: My sister’s daughter got a loan.

ALEX: I could, I don’t want to get into debt.

FRANK: What would you be studying?

ALEX: Psychology combined with English.

FRANK: (Laughs) Just like his father, analyzing everything.

STEVE: Yeah. Tell them the awards you’ve got.

ALEX: Student of the year, three times running, Jack petchey award for outstanding achievement and other certificates.

STEVE: You here that, my sons smart. He’s got awards.

GARY: You must be proud.

STEVE: I am, very proud. That’s my boy. But I cant help it I got a drink problem. He doesn’t understand that.

ALEX: I do understand.

STEVE: (Signs of aggression) No you don’t understand, you can stand there and say yeah and nod you’re head like you do, but you don’t understand, not at all.

GARY: Are you sure you don’t want a seat? (Alex shakes his head)

ALEX: Not staying long. I said I’d meet my friends later.

STEVE: neither does your mum, I do, I went to enough meetings, I f*****g chaired them, they don’t do noting, you just listen and one meeting there was this pathetic women, she said, “I have to have a glass of wine every night before I go to bed”, (Laughs) ah god, one f*****g glass of wine, is that it, f**k me if I could just have one glass of wine a night I’d be fine, that’d be sociable, Jesus how pathetic and there was another one, a bloke, “I tried a beer when I was fourteen, I didn’t like it but I drank it anyway coz my mates were and ever since then I’ve been a drinker, I still don’t like it though”, (Laughs) I was drinking when I was ten and I look like the most sensible in the room and I was shaking but at least I had something decent to say you know, I had a f*****g reason to drink apart from the taste.

FRANK: You’re dads got a point. I’ve been with him.

GARY: Its not easy Al, I used to drink a lot, a hell of a lot, took me a while to cut down.

STEVE: This other girl, she told us her dad brought her a house in the middle of the country so she could get away, he paid for her detox and that, and she sat their and complained that her father didn’t pay her enough attention, f**k me (Laughs), every year I’d get a watch from my dad and he knew I didn’t wear em, so I always used to give them to him, my mum probably knicked em, if I had a house in the country I’d just get up and go, f**k detox, f**k everything and that’s no offence to you son, I’d take you with me but, no honest, I don’t want to sit in a room and listen to other people’s problems; if I wanted that I’d just pop over Mick’s. Na, I don’t want that, they don’t know what hard is, you may think you’ve got it bad but you don’t know what bad is, I cant cry, I cant physically do it, I envy you and that’s why I’ve always said you cry in front of me coz there’s nothing weak about a man who can cry, you wanna cry now, cry.

ALEX: Im not going to cry.

STEVE: Then why are you biting you’re nails?

ALEX: Im not. Im picking away the dead skin around the nail.

STEVE: That’s nerves. I had it beaten out of me, if I cried my dad would give me something to cry about, there’s only one time I’ve nearly cried since then and do you know when that was, when you were born, you’re mother didn’t, no she just laid there as if she had just taken something out the freezer to defrost, casual like, as if she couldn’t care less. I held you in my arms, I was the first to hold you, not the doctor, no, I named you. She had you for me, she’s not maternally minded, she told me that. After her first son, she fucked him up as well and she’s doing the same to you and I know I’ve not always been there but I’ve never been in denial, you may say that but I’ve never hidden the fact im an alcoholic. Never. I like a drink. Im Steven. Im ya dad. im not ya mum and I never will be, I cant live with her, like her in a perfect clean world where there’s not a fingerprint out of place. Where you cant splash in the bath or take a piss without kneeling down, I used to kneel so that I wouldn’t get any on the toilet seat and when we used to have sex, I had to put a towel down when I didn’t have a bed in the tower block, just encase any went anywhere, that’s not romance and it was my f*****g flat, I know you don’t want to hear it, but there’s a heck of a lot you don’t know, you will one day, when you get old enough. I asked her once, what would you rather have, love or a home, she said a home, made me feel real special, as long as you have love you can build a home together. This is luxury to me, I’ve been in and out of hostels, bedsits, I’ve slept with cockroaches. (Turns to Frank) You remember that day she chucked me out, after I had done the place up as well.

FRANK: Yeah.

STEVE: Yeah Frank will tell you. I had three beers, that’s it, three! She said I could sleep in the shed, and you know what I got, if you don’t like it, you know where the door is and I couldn’t do a thing about it coz my name wasn’t on the rent card. You remember when I used to come home from work and sit on your toy box and eat ravioli, warmed up in the microwave, she couldn’t even be bothered to cook and near enough all my money went to her, oh yeah I brought a lot for her when you were younger, who do you think decorated the place, I did, and you used to say, “why don’t you spend anymore time with me dad?” Remember, its coz I was always doing things for her and she appreciated nothing. Waste of my f*****g time, I wasn’t even allowed in the front room sometimes and when I did go in there she’d brush the carpet over, I wasn’t allowed to do the crossword just encase I got black print on my hands.

I can hold my hands up and admit I’ve been wrong, yes I fucked up, I know I have, I let drink take over, its not that I don’t love you but the drink loves me more you know. It hurts, it hurts that I cant just stop son, I wish I could, I crave it, more than, than air, without it I’d die, I would, I’d have another fit and probably fall down the stairs or trip up into the road, that’s why I’ve got to cut down gradually, you just cant stop cold turkey with these things, its like me saying, you can never play the computer or watch TV ever again, and I’ve been to the doctors they don’t want to know. So many times, they’re all a bunch of useless c***s, the lot of em.

GARY: They wouldn’t give me my tablets. That’s when I knocked out that bouncer that time, I told them I needed em. That’s what I told the police.

STEVE: There useless. I asked them if they could give me anything for the shakes, to corm me down when im having my withdrawals, but no and I asked for detox but they said I’ve got to do it on my own, which I’ve tried, f*****g great help they are, and I’ve been down there sober it doesn’t make a difference. What the f**k do they do? Nothing but fob you off, wankers. I could kill someone right now, no honest, I know you don’t want to hear it, that’s what I feel like, if I go down them shops and there’s kids hanging outside the off license, I’ll knock em out, I’ll f*****g kill them, eighteen year olds in hoods, coz I tell ya I’d get more help in prison then I would here, at least then I wouldn’t be able to drink would I. Think about it.

I’d love to string em up, all of em, all them f*****g doctors that have struck me off, the c***s. I would, I’d hang em from the sealing one by one, in a row, each on a rope hanging by their neck and I’d pull it tight, I would, I’d f*****g strangle them, slowly, and if they’d ask for help id say, “Sorry, I cant help you, did you help me, f*****g help yourself” I’d love to, one by one, “Does that hurt? Are you in pain? Sorry I haven’t got any tables for that”. (Laughs)

GARY: I tell you I’d be right behind ya. Front row seat.

STEVE: What you got to remember son is, it’s an addiction.

ALEX: We could all make that excuse.

STEVE: See, he doesn’t f*****g listen to a word I say. I could have been someone, in a band, where do you think you get you’re creativity from, not you’re mum, me! I used to serenade girls on the train. That’s how me and you’re mum first met, she heard me playing the guitar in the tower block, came up to complain about the noise and we got chatting, I plaid her a song. I wrote it.

ALEX: You’re living in the past. You and mum just keep dragging it up. What about me?

STEVE: (Reaching in his pockets) Look, here you are. (Giving him a twenty pound note)

ALEX: Its not just about the money.

STEVE: Then what! You’re never satisfied. Just like you’re mum.

ALEX: (Throw’s the money back at him) Forget it.

(Storms off)

STEVE: I can’t win, no matter what I do.

GARY: He’s obviously having a hard time at home.

STEVE: She wont let him live. I’ve told him so many times, he can come stay with me, here he can do what he wants, have whoever he likes up, go to the fridge when he likes, He doesn’t know what real life is; he comes over here and thinks im in the wrong. Na, he only came round today coz he had nothing better to do, now his girls gone away. His mums warped his brain. One day he’ll realize, he’ll look back and think, you know dad was right. (Takes a large gulag of cider)

FRANK: Top us up Steve.

(Steve unscrews his cider bottle and tops up their glasses)

GARY: Im just going to put some music on if you don’t mind.

STEVE: Yeah go on, it’s too quiet round here.

(Gary puts some music on. Blackout. The music remains. Set change. Pub setting, a round table, Alex is sat with his two friends, they both have a pint of lager Alex has a coke, the music fades to a lower volume but remains in the background. The lights fade up on them in a midst conversation. Alex is texting in his own world)

Scene Four. What Are Friends For?

AARON: A hundred pound for scissors.

CHRIS: There special ones.

AARON: Special scissors. As long as scissors cut.

CHRIS: There specially for cutting hair, they were the cheapest. Others were like, two hundred, five hundred. I had to buy them myself.

AARON: Don’t you use clippers?

CHRIS: We do sometimes. But it’s cheating.

AARON: Its more time efficient.

CHRIS: People come to us to get their hair styled. Not cut.

AARON: Isn’t cutting styling?

CHRIS: In a way but, you know what I mean. There’s more art to it.

AARON: Takes ages though.

CHRIS: If you’re going to do something, its better to take you’re time and do a good job than rush it and do a bad one.

AARON: How much do you charge?

CHRIS: Well I don’t, im a trainee, I get paid pitons, yet we work the hardest, but it depends what you want done, I’d say you’re average cut…

AARON: Cut.

CHRIS: Style, forty quid.

AARON: I think I’ll stick with my barbers. Seven quid.

CHRIS: Do they use clippers?

AARON: Yeah but I only ever have a number four all over.

CHRIS: Any fool could do that.

AARON: That’s what I like, nothing can go wrong, you give someone a pair of scissors and they don’t know what there doing, you might end up looking like Tim Burton.

(Alex laughs)

ALEX: Edward Scissor Hands.

AARON: Nice of you to join us.

ALEX: Sorry.

AARON: Who you texting, wait, dumb question.

ALEX: I hate these touch screens. (Tapping the screen vigorously)

AARON: Why’d you get one?

ALEX: My old phone broke, buttons got mashed in when I dropped it, now I’ve got to tap this screen a hundred times to send. Its all ready scratched to buggery, only had it a week, brought it to stay in touch with Hazel, had to use up my phone fund. What happens if I crack the screen? Whoever thought of this was an idiot. I might buy one for my mum just to wind her up(Laughs to himself). What ever happened to the good old days of two cups on a piece of string? Reception wasn’t bad, at least you knew where you stood.

AARON: Yeah at opposite ends of the room, only way it worked. (They laugh)

ALEX: Its like you used to be able to hand write; now everything has to be done by computer and I swear mine hates me, it keeps glitching up on me, technology seems to hate me, I think its coz I rooted for John Conner.

CHRIS: And that’s why I’ll always be in business, a computer can’t replace me. (Aaron and Alex look at each other as if to say give it a rest) I could do yours for free; I always need people to model for me.

AARON: Na you’re all right.

CHRIS: Save yourself seven quid. Alex? Looks like you need a haircut, style.

ALEX: Im alright.

CHRIS: A Brazilian blow-dries a hundred and forty, that’s just a blow dry.

AARON: A hundred and forty pound! There’s hardly any hair to blow-dry is there.

CHRIS: Not a Brazilian in that way. It’s just the name of the treatment.

AARON: I was going to say you’re a lucky man.

CHRIS: I want to start cutting girls hair, im bored of gents, there’s only so much you can do. Plus of course, it would make small talk more bearable. You should see some of the girls we get in our salon.

ALEX: What’s Rachel say?

CHRIS: What can she say? It’s my job. She has been a bit clingy though since I started. She’s going to have to get used to it, Im going to have my own salon one day. I was thinking, Hair Today Gone Tomorrow. (Laughs to himself)

ALEX: Or Chris’s Cut’s, ah but you don’t cut hair.

CHRIS: Oh shut up. (Alex Laughs)

AARON: Hurry up and neck these, I want to go Liquid. It’s dead in here and I’ve heard this song a million times.

ALEX: Im not coming.

AARON: Why?

ALEX: Haven’t got the money.

AARON: I’ll pay for you to get in.

ALEX: Na its alright. Might just go home and continue what I’ve been working on.

AARON: I don’t mind paying honestly. I get paid tomorrow.

CHRIS: C’mon I got to be up at six tomorrow, don’t be so boring.

AARON: Yeah, have you ever experienced a hang over?

ALEX: Its not something im dying to experience if im honest.

CHRIS: Im going to be hanging tomorrow, I better stay away from the scissors.

AARON: Argh god, don’t get me started on work. We’ve got a script we have to follow at Dominoes. Every time we take an order we’ve got to say. “Wow, thank you for choosing Dominoes” do you know how monogamous that is, “Wow, thank you for choosing Dominoes” after the fifteenth phone call it’s a little hard to sound surprised, one guy phoned up to get the number of Pizza Hut. I think he was having a laugh.

CHRIS: (Laughs) The last time I was hung over at work I accidentally washed someone’s hair with peroxide shampoo. Lucky enough they were having their hair re-died.

AARON: (To Alex) See all this you have left to experience. Come liquid, I’ll get you a proper drink.

ALEX: What do you call a proper drink?

AARON: Not coke.

ALEX: I like coke. I’ve drank coke all my life, are you honestly saying you prefer the taste of that?

AARON: Yeah.

ALEX: I think you’re lying to yourself.

AARON: And why’s that?

ALEX: Coz you’re eyes are deceptive to you’re taste buds. You look around and see everyone and they have a beer in their hand, their laughing and look like they’re having a good time, you’re scared of going against the equilibrium. Coz being eighteen gives you that excuse; it gives you the excuse to blame your actions on that substance. Excuse me for being the odd one out, but beer taste’s like s**t, I’d much rather have a glass of coke and suffer the responsibility of my actions.

AARON: What a load of crap.

ALEX: Just watch their faces as they take another sip of bitterness. Dying for social acceptance, please like me, im all grown up now. This is being an adult? Acting like a child. Whoever came up with alco-pops must have had the same philosophy. It’s like bottling up lies and their dumb enough to buy it.

CHRIS: You’ve just got the ump coz you’re missing Hazel.

ALEX: A little.

CHRIS: A little, you’ve been texting her for like half an hour. You’ve hardly acknowledged us.

ALEX: There’s only certain times she can text.

AARON: When she due back?

ALEX: Next week.

AARON: Well don’t let her have all the fun.

ALEX: What do you mean by that?

AARON: Do you think she’s brooding wherever she is?

ALEX: She’s missing me, she just said. When did you last see Eliza?

AARON: Man that’s not fair.

ALEX: Well don’t start on me.

AARON: Im not! Forget I said anything, you go home and do whatever it is you want to do, forgive me for trying to take you’re mind off things.

ALEX: I appreciate it, I went to see my dad today and…. ah I wont get into it.

AARON: We don’t have to go liquid we can stay here if you want.

ALEX: I don’t mind clubbing its just, you cant talk or move, everyone’s jammed in like penguins and I don’t like the music they play, its just noise.

CHRIS: Yeah it’s called drum and bass.

(They laugh)

ALEX: I’ll stop texting.

AARON: You don’t have to.

ALEX: (Puts his phone away) You have my undivided attention.

CHRIS: She had to go didn’t she?

ALEX: Got to catch the next Ferry.

AARON: Well you two are sorted; I need to get me a girl.

CHRIS: Yeah just don’t knock this one up.

AARON: Hey it wasn’t my fault, I wore a condom, and the dam thing broke.

CHRIS: They don’t make them like they used to.

AARON: I wish I had worn nothing now. Waste of time and money.

CHRIS: (Laughs) You should have asked her to go on the pill. I’m saving a bundle. (Gives a cheeky wink as he takes a swig of his pint)

(They laugh)

AARON: So Alex, you and Hazel yet?

ALEX: You’re the second person to ask me that today.

AARON: That didn’t answer my question.

ALEX: And I’ll answer it with the same no comment.

CHRIS: Ay! What are friends for?

AARON: If you cant tell us, (Mocking) whom are you going to tell?

ALEX: Whom? You sound like a ponse.

AARON: Pardon me for being grammatically correct.

ALEX: Since when have you been worried about being grammatically correct?

AARON: Don’t try to change the subject.

ALEX: If you were going to be grammatically correct, the question in which you asked in the first place would not lead a response.

(Pause)

AARON: This is why you need a drink; we’d be on the same playing field.

ALEX: I applied for a job at McDonalds, obviously I don’t really want to work there but I did it just to shut my mum up, and they sent me a letter through the post saying, “Sorry but you have not successful in you’re application”, then they ask for any feedback on their recruitment process, I was going to write back to them and say, I think you’re missing a been in there. Dumb f***s.

AARON: (Jokes) What’s that say about you?

(Chris laughs)

ALEX: Im over qualified if anything. I think its coz I never lied on the survey, they ask you a bunch of questions online and you have to mark each with agree, strongly agree, disagree you know one of those. One was “I am always cheerful and hold a positive attitude towards life”, so I put disagree.

CHRIS: You idiot.

ALEX: No, im not ALWAYS cheerful, (Sarcastic) Oh yes I can guarantee I’ll never feel sad again. It’s bullocks.

AARON: I had to do one of those, I just used strongly agree and strongly disagree. Did you use the not sure for any?

ALEX: A couple.

AARON: That’s probably why. You cant put not sure otherwise they’ll assume you’re indecisive.

ALEX: I am indecisive, im an indecisive person I’ll admit, even when it comes to marmite. Why else would I be applying to McDonalds? Dominoes isn’t as bad, but I didn’t relies its 4.35 an hour. Sod that, im glade I never got the job.

AARON: You know that’s minimal wage.

ALEX: It’s close to slave labor that’s what it is.

(They laugh)

CHRIS: That’s what im on. Im getting another tattoo soon.

AARON: Of what?

CHRIS: Just a tribal between my shoulder blades.

AARON: Ouch. I thought about getting one going up my forearm.

ALEX: Why tribal?

CHRIS: (Shrugs shoulders) They look good.

ALEX: I’d never have a tattoo unless it meant something personal to me. Otherwise in years to come I’d just look back on it and wonder why I got it in the first place, you know what I mean. It has to stand the test of time.

CHRIS: Yeah but I think when I look back on this, the reason for just getting it is enough, obviously I wanted it at the time.

ALEX: I suppose if I was to get one, I’d get something ironic like, this hurt or, regret, just encase.

CHRIS: You can’t always worry about how you’re going to feel years on; otherwise that just ruins the moment.

AARON: Some wise words from a hairdresser there.

CHRIS: Hey im smart too. We’re not all airheads and you can talk, “Wow, thank you for choosing Dominoes” You can’t even speak for yourself.

(Alex and Chris laugh)

ALEX: Would you like me to write you a response on a serviette?

(More laughter. Blackout. Set change. A bed is brought on and an armchair next to it with a television set up at the end of the bed and a commode, there is a box next to the commode)

Scene Five. A Coffee And Some Cake.

(Lights snap up on Caroline sat in the armchair next to her downstairs neighbor Sarah in bed, as they both look on at the television gormless, Caroline ever so often takes a look around the room and back again, there are balloons and birthday cards propped up with the number “30^th”, the random box catches Carolines eye)

CAROLINE: (Curious) What’s in the box Sarah?

SARAH: That’s just some none of your.

CAROLINE: None of your?

SARAH: Yeah. Haven’t you ever heard of it?

CAROLINE: No. None of your?

SARAH: Yes. None of your business. (Laughs to herself)

CAROLINE: Ow.

SARAH: Believe it or not that’s all my medication.

CAROLINE: You’re joking.

SARAH: No take a look.

CAROLINE: (Peering in the box) My lord.

SARAH: Oh is he in there as well? I wondered where he’d got to. (Laughs) im thinking about selling some of it to the kids round here. (Sarah laughs to herself, Caroline looks up stony faced) I was joking Carol.

CAROLINE: So what did you get again?

SARAH: I got a new nighty from my sister she dropped it round this morning.

CAROLINE: Oh she didn’t pop it round yesterday then.

SARAH: Na she was busy, its alright she rang me up, I got the card through the post. My mum adopted me a meercat.

CAROLINE: A meercat!

SARAH: Not to live with me of course, in the wild.

CAROLINE: Oh right yeah, I know what you mean.

SARAH: Its coz I kept mentioning that advert. She only done it as a joke. She got me other things.

CAROLINE: What’s his name?

SARAH: Her.

CAROLINE: No I know you’re mother’s name I meant the animal, what is it?

SARAH: A meercat and it’s a girl.

CAROLINE: Owwwww I see.

SARAH: I called her Carly. (Laughs out loud)

CAROLINE: Carly?

SARAH: Yeah coz the advert.

CAROLINE: Im not sure if I’ve seen it.

SARAH: That’s not all I got, my dad got me a lamp, but its not a normal lamp, its one of those lamps with a paper shade and on the inside there’s different words, you press a button and it lights up with a message and you can change the shades so you get a picture of a butterfly or a flower. Like charades you know.

CAROLINE: That sounds nice.

SARAH: It is pretty, but I haven’t been able to use it yet, silly sod brought me the lamp but forget the bulbs.

CAROLINE: That’s a load of good int it.

SARAH: I know, now I’ve got to wait until he comes back. I also got a book, how to grow a four-leaf clover. I could do with some luck.

CAROLINE: (Laughs) Yeah I’ll have to borrow that off you.

SARAH: Here have a look. (Takes it off the bed and holds it out for Caroline to take)

CAROLINE: (Taking it, flicking through the pages) I don’t think this actually tells you how to grow one.

SARAH: Yeah I know, its just a story. Supposed to be a metaphor.

CAROLINE: For what?

SARAH: Haven’t read it yet.

CAROLINE: (Passes it back) Do you read a lot then?

SARAH: Sometimes, depends. If Andy’s at work I will or when he’s watching something I don’t want to.

CAROLINE: What did he get you?

SARAH: (Laughs) That.

CAROLINE: Ow.

SARAH: But he did get me a nice bracelet and some earrings. I can wear them when I next go out, whenever that will be.

CAROLINE: I don’t know how you do it Sarah, I couldn’t, I do my nut sitting up there.

SARAH: I have my good days and I have my bad days as im sure you do.

CAROLINE: I dread getting up.

SARAH: I don’t have to worry about that. (Laughs)

CAROLINE: So sorry Sarah I didn’t think, me and my big mouth.

SARAH: (Laughs) Carol, don’t, its fine, its fine. You take things so seriously. Would you like some cake? Its out in the kitchen if you want some or another drink.

CAROLINE: Yeah I might do.

SARAH: Mitch! I’ll get Mitch to get it for you.

(Mitch walks on stage)

MITCH: Yeah.

SARAH: Get Carol a slice of cake and, what do you want, tea, coffee?

CAROLINE: No it’s alright, im going to go up soon.

SARAH: Oh ok. Get us a slice of cake Mitch and I’ll have a tea I think.

MITCH: Right O. (Goes to walk off)

SARAH: Actually! I’ll have a coffee.

MITCH: A coffee and a slice of cake. (Walks off)

CAROLINE: (Quietly) So does he not talk to his mum at all?

SARAH: No he does but, they don’t get on. He saw her yesterday when she brought the card round, they hardly spoke.

CAROLINE: How long has he lived with you now?

SARAH: Well since we moved in, how long ago was that?

CAROLINE: Um, I think two years. I think it’s a little irresponsible of her leaving him here with you, I don’t mean it in that way but, does she put towards his upkeep?

SARAH: Oh yeah, but he’s also registered as my carer so he gets that money for doing the odd job. He pays for himself really, you could claim for Alex as you’re carer. What is it you’ve got?

CAROLINE: Osteoporosis of the spine and remittal arthritis. I was thinking the other day I cant wait til im an old aged pensioner than I can get a free bus pass, sad ay.

(Mitch brings in the cake and a cup and places them on a tray next to Sarah’s bed)

SARAH: Thanks. (Mitch walks out again. She takes a sip from the cup) I asked for coffee, didn’t I ask for coffee? I think im going to start writing my orders down from now on. Mitch! Mitch!

(Mitch walks back in)

MITCH: Yeah.

SARAH: This is tea, I asked for coffee, didn’t I ask for coffee?

MITCH: Sorry. (Goes to take the cup from her)

SARAH: I might as well drink it now, don’t worry.

(Mitch walks back out)

CAROLINE: What did he get you? For you’re birthday.

SARAH: Nothing.

CAROLINE: Nothing. That’s a bit rude. Doesn’t say much does he.

SARAH: Na, he’s very quiet but he keeps me up at night. Have you heard him pacing?

CAROLINE: No.

SARAH: He paces up and down the hallway at night.

CAROLINE: Why’s he do that?

SARAH: Don’t know. He does it out in the garden as well.

CAROLINE: Yeah I’ve seen him out in the garden. When I used to live in the tower blocks there was a man, he was the janitor, he used to march up and down the hallways at night with a mop over his shoulder, said he was protecting us, from what I don’t know but he was in the war, think he was traumatized.

SARAH: I think its coz he gets bored, but all he does is lock himself away in that room until we call him, sometimes Andy’s said he’s walked past and he’s been talking to himself. His brother who still lives with my sister used to get a lot of attention, I think that’s partly why he wanted to come live with us. But her other son does need it, he was born with both genes, don’t know if I’ve told you this.

CAROLINE: What do you mean?

SARAH: Well he’s got the hormones of a man and a woman.

CAROLINE: That’s strange. How’d that happen?

SARAH: Well he was born like it obviously, he is a boy, but he has women’s genetics, it is peculiar. His body evolved but his genes remained the same coz they say we all begin female than we change in the womb, I watched it in a documentary, you can hear it in his voice though. It’s a rare case only three people have it in this country, I think Mitch couldn’t handle the pressure of having a brother like that you know, but when she brings him round here they get on fine, they play football out the front, Mitch is good at the football, he can do twenty kicks up in one go, you should see him he’s like a robot. How’s you’re other lad by the way?

CAROLINE: (Seems startled, on guard) He’s fine.

SARAH: I didn’t realize you had another kid. Andy was speaking to one of the neighbors and he said they mentioned it.

CAROLINE: What did they say?

SARAH: Just that Alex had a brother.

CAROLINE: Half brother. From my ex-husband. He lives with him.

SARAH: But he used to live with you.

CAROLINE: (Seems uncomfortable) Yeah, up until his father got settled then he decided he’d spent enough time with me and like to go spend some time with his father, which was reasonable. He was old enough to make his own choice.

SARAH: Why’d you separate from him?

CAROLINE: We just, I don’t know, we just decided it weren’t working and it was unfair on Jamie, so he moved out, Jamie stayed with me, and Harry, he was always very much for himself. Wasn’t happy living in a tower block, wasn’t happy with anything. So then that’s when I met Steve, he moved in up above me and we had Alex and moved here with Jamie.

SARAH: And how old is he now?

CAROLINE: Jamie’s twenty, two years older than Alex.

SARAH: How often do you see him then?

CAROLINE: He’s very busy. Works for his dad, me and Harry started a business but what with the divorce and Alex being born I left that behind, he’s at uni at the moment studying to be an accountant.

SARAH: Owwww an accountant, fancy. At least he’ll be a able to bail you out if you ever go on the rampage.

CAROLINE: (Gives a fake laugh) Yeah I feel like it sometimes. Right I better get back upstairs, got some jobs to do.

SARAH: Ok Carol I’ll see you later, if you’re ever fed up don’t hesitate in coming down.

CAROLINE: I wont, see ya, say bye to Mitch for me.

SARAH: Will do.

(Carol walks off stage. Leaving Sarah on her own, she looks over at something she cannot reach from her bed and lets out a tot)

SARAH: Mitch! (Pause) Mitch! (Pause) Mitch!

(Mitch storms in)

MITCH: What? I was in the toilet.

SARAH: Pass us those tissues, I got a bogey up my nose, it’s really getting on my nerves. (Mitch passes her the tissues, she blows her nose and passes him back the used tissue, showing him the bogey in a playful manner) Look at the size of that. Check it in the bin for us, cheers. (Mitch takes the tissue with a sense of disgust and puts it in the bin for her positioned at the end of her bed. Blackout. Set change)

INTURLUDE

Act Two. Scene Six. Out With The New In With The Old.

(Hazels Bedroom. They sit legs crossed on the carpet together hand in hand. Alex has a carrier bag placed behind his back, his shirt says “Im with Beautiful” with an arrow pointing towards Hazel)

ALEX: I’ve missed you so much. (Kisses her on the cheek rolling to her neck)

HAZEL: Missed you too.

ALEX: You look bronzed.

HAZEL: I know, I actually caught the sun for once.

ALEX: So how was it?

HAZEL: Really, really good. I’ve got loads of pictures to show you. (Stands up and walks off stage) Mum you got those photos to show Alex. (She walks back on with a wallet of photos and a box) Here’s you’re present. (Hands him the box tied with a ribbon) It’s the biggest I could find.

ALEX: (Opens the box and takes out a shell roughly shaped like a heart) Awww that’s really sweet of you, thanks a lot. (Gives her a big hug, he places the shell up against her chest) I think that’s about right.

HAZEL: (Laughs) My hearts the other side silly. I wouldn’t trust you with a stethoscope.

ALEX: I got you something. (Grabs the bag and passes it to Hazel)

HAZEL: You didn’t have to get me anything silly. Im the one who went away. (Takes out a shirt from the bag and unfolds it to reveal a shirt similar to Alex’s, hers says “Im With Hansom” with an arrow pointing in his direction) Awwww that’s nice.

ALEX: Try it on.

HAZEL: I will. (Rests it down)

ALEX: Go on it will be funny to see you’re mums reaction.

HAZEL: Yeah later.

ALEX: Next time we go out, I’ll wear mine, you wear yours.

HAZEL: Ok. (Takes out the photo and lays them out) There weren’t that many shells on the beach actually, most of it was coral, there were a lot of empty oysters, I felt sorry for them. They’d obviously been torn apart by people looking for pearls and they were left out in the sun all dried up, I think people forget they’re alive.

ALEX: You’re wearing a bikini in that one.

HAZEL: It was baking over there.

ALEX: You never wear a bikini when we go swimming.

HAZEL: That’s different. You don’t wear a bikini to a swimming center; you wear a bikini to the beach.

ALEX: You look good in it though. Bet you turned a lot of heads.

HAZEL: No don’t worry.

ALEX: Im not worrying.

HAZEL: So this was us in Spain, it was so beautiful. We went snorkeling and I saw a family of turtles and there was this one baby turtle that kept getting left behind, it was so cute. We went up to the caves and there were some people jumping off the top of the cliffs, dad wanted to but he bottled it at the last minute.

ALEX: He probably would have created a tidal wave.

HAZEL: He’s not that big.

ALEX: Just joking.

HAZEL: The view from the top was amazing. We took a tour round the main village, there was a lot of gypsies who I think wanted money from us, I couldn’t understand what they were saying but they kept holding out their hands, we had a guide who told us to ignore them otherwise as soon as you say anything they follow you. But we went to a museum and an open street carnival. The boat that took us over the red sea was huge, there was like a shopping center inside and at night they let fireworks off.

ALEX: You enjoyed yourself then.

HAZEL: Yeah we did so much it’s hard to remember it all. I can’t even remember taking half these pictures.

ALEX: Who are these people?

HAZEL: Another group of tourists that we got chatting to. We made some good friends over there. Especially the waiters in this restaurant we went to, there was this French guy named Bart Camuell.

ALEX: Camel?

HAZEL: Camuell, its pronounced funny, he served us most, he was an interesting character, he told us his parents made him leave school at 13 and join the circus, he traveled all over the world, he used to make puppets and perform to children on the street.

ALEX: That’s a bit creepy.

HAZEL: He wasn’t like that. When he came to Spain he fell in love with a women who also worked in the restaurant and gave up his life with the circus to be with her. Which was sweet I guess.

ALEX: You guess?

HAZEL: Well joining the circus must have been important to his parents. We like ate there every night, the food was so nice and the waiters entertain you as you sit, some do magic, others sing, there was this one guy who served a roast bull which looked horrible, he swallowed the skewer after carving it, which was weird, sometimes they got a bit annoying from time to time when we were like trying to have a private chat. We saw some of the ships that were used and laid to waste during the Anglo-Spanish War in the museum, we sailed over the north of Spain to Portugal and along the way we also saw where the English Armada was fought, there were old ships just left out in the open with debris scattered. It was humbling in a way, we were on the battleground, but everything was peaceful, you’d think there would have been some sort of hostility towards us, but we all got on. There was like a memorial and then a celebration, I think that’s why they set off the fireworks. Then we all put a message in a bottle and tossed it over the side.

ALEX: What was you’re message?

HAZEL: I can’t remember now.

ALEX: You must do.

HAZEL: I cant.

ALEX: Go on tell me.

HAZEL: It was just something like, so glade I could visit this beautiful place bla bla bla, I didn’t write a poem. (Pause) On our next vacation we’re going to go to Egypt, visit the pyramids of Chyro, Ramsey’s tomb etc, were going mainly to check out the Seuz Canal, its like where another battle was fought. We’ve already set aside a date, im going to need a much bigger memory card for that trip I think, I also want to go to Thailand some time, I heard of this volcano that erupted and there’s actually a whole village that’s been covered in ash and the people who lived there are preserved like statues, it sounds so interesting.

ALEX: Why would you want to take pictures of that? They’re obviously dead.

HAZEL: Yeah but, its like a remembrance thing.

ALEX: I don’t think you need to take pictures to remember something like that. It must be horrible. (Laughs)

HAZLE: (Looks at him strange) What?

ALEX: Ah nothing.

HAZLE: Tell me.

ALEX: I just thought, what if there was a couple at it when it went off, and they were stuck in, lets say an awkward position. Do you think they’d remove them ones?

HAZEL: (Rolls her eyes) Only you. So anyway enough about me, what have you been up to lately?

ALEX: Um, nothing exciting to be honest. Just counting the days til you got back really. I thought about you every night when I went to bed and every morning when I woke up.

HAZEL: Awww that’s sweet.

ALEX: I went to see my dad, got a new phone so I could text you.

HAZEL: Yeah you said.

ALEX: Sent something off to the BBC.

HAZEL: The BBC ay.

ALEX: It was a short piece I wrote, “Thrown to the wolfs”.

HAZEL: Oh yeah you told me about this. The sleepover that goes wrong.

ALEX: Yeah, but there’s a lot more to it then that. I didn’t realize how complex it was until after writing it. I never plan anything, I like to begin writing and see where the piece takes me. Allow the characters to discover themselves. Its funny you talk about ships, for some reason sailing seems to pop up in conversation in my work, I don’t know why, I’ve never been myself and it hit me the other day, its subconscious, my screen saver is of the ocean. Weird ay

HAZEL: It is, you need structure. They say it’s the dialogue that’s easiest.

ALEX: It has structure, its like I know where I want it to go, its just getting their, only problem is, I begin writing something and then other ideas pop into my head, I cant just concentrate on one. I’ve already started writing something else, I went out with Chris and Aaron and all I wanted to do was get back home and finish it.

HAZEL: How are they?

ALEX: Yeah they’re all right. Chris is still at the salon and Aaron’s still Aaron.

HAZEL: (Laughs) Has he been seeing Eliza?

ALEX: Don’t think so. He doesn’t speak about her much, unless we ask

and even then he shuns it off.

HAZEL: That’s a shame.

ALEX: Yeah I feel sorry for him in a way. He really loved her.

HAZEL: But he didn’t take responsibility.

ALEX: Well it takes two to tango. But I do agree, he could have done more. You think something like that would give him kick up the a*s.

HAZEL: Having a child doesn’t change who you are, it’s a common mistake made, It was stupid on both their parts to be honest; they knew what they were doing and the consequences.

ALEX: Yeah. I’d never have kids unless I knew I was financially secure, I’d want to give my children a better start in life.

HAZEL: I don’t think I could have kids, I mean physically give birth, too much pain for me. I’d have to adopt.

ALEX: What age kid would you adopt?

HAZEL: Not too young but not too old, I think if I adopted a kid say between the ages of 3-6 those years are quite productive, I don’t know if id be able to handle the stress, but say a kid between 7-10 that would be ok coz you’d still experience most their childhood. But its not something im going to worry about now.

ALEX: Sounds like you’ve given it a lot of thought.

HAZEL: Its just coz I know it was tough for my mum and dad with me and my sister, they had to work hard to give us the life we have. My mum was only 19 when she had me, same year she married my father.

ALEX: I think that’s good in a way; they were still young so it’s like a journey you went on together. My mum and dad, there was too much of an age gap, my mum was too old when she had me in my opinion. She was much younger when she had my half brother.

HAZEL: Why don’t you ever use his name?

ALEXL: He was given a lot more than me; his father has his own business. I used to pretend I was adopted coz I took my dads name.

HAZEL: Yeah I think you used to tell me that.

ALEX: At school I let it run for ages after parents evening, I had the teachers fooled.

HAZEL: You’re so mean.

ALEX: How is that mean?

HAZEL: They believed you.

ALEX: Not my fault they were stupid.

HAZEL: They probably knew you were lying just humored you.

ALEX: Why would they do that?

HAZEL: Kids say a lot of things don’t they?

ALEX: I don’t miss school. Its bullocks what they say, school are the best years of you’re life.

HAZEL: That’s nice.

ALEX: What?

HAZEL: We went to the same school.

ALEX: You know I didn’t mean it like that. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

HAZEL: Awwww.

ALEX: You were always better at school than me. I was only interested in English, Drama and R.E. It was the only lessons I felt able to express myself, have my own opinion, the others I just had to sit there and be a body. I got detention once coz I refused to apologies for calling someone a prick.

HAZEL: I can see why.

ALEX: They were, I was just telling the truth. That’s why I always liked English, you can’t get detention for something a fictional character says, that’s the power of artistic license, Miss Kite always liked my stories.

HAZEL: I never had her but I heard she was a bit of an odd ball.

ALEX: she praised me for being controversially diverse, she was a liberal herself, only teacher who had highlights, she’d change the colour every term, but she wore all black, studded leather boots, piercing’s on her face, we used to wonder if she had her n*****s pierced, I think she liked my writing because she was bijous herself to the system, the others were just slaves to the curriculum. That’s why I preferred college, I excelled, and for once I was able to choose, I wasn’t stripped of my identity. Made to wear clothes that didn’t fit.

HAZEL: Whilst we’re on the subject, when I was away I did a bit of thinking, more than a bit and I think I found what it is I want to do with MY life. I’d like to become a geographical novelist.

ALEX: What a writer.

HAZEL: In a way, but I’d be writing on past events, revisit locations of historical conflict, interview the towns people, gather the facts hopefully uncover some new ones and report on how the country has adapted over the years prior to worlds events, in a documentation form. Probably appearing in newspapers and travel magazines.

ALEX: And how would you go about that?

HAZEL: Well I already know a lot about history, too much time spent watching the discovery channel, though my geography and insight into the media is lacking. I was speaking to Jamie….

ALEX: When?

HAZEL: When I was away?

ALEX: (Suspicious) You spoke to him on holiday.

HAZEL: Yeah why?

ALEX: Did he get in contact with you or did you get in contact with him?

HAZEL: I got in contact with him; I wanted to ask him something. Why? You’re not still paranoid…..

ALEX: Im not paranoid. I don’t think he accepted my friend request.

HAZEL: Alex you just have to accept we’re still friends, I know you’re not but, I was asking about his uni. I know he mentioned a course similar he thought I might be interested in, to give me an insight. I couldn’t remember which he was on about, so I asked him.

ALEX: You could have asked him once you got back?

HAZEL: Im sorry but what’s it make a difference when I asked him?

ALEX: Why didn’t you ask me? I know about writing.

HAZEL: Alex, what you’re writing, it’s completely different, I’ll be more of a journalist.

ALEX: So you’ll be going to the same uni as him?

HAZEL: Well it’s not certain yet, im just looking into it, weighing up my options.

ALEX: When do you plan on going?

HAZEL: End of this year.

ALEX: Wow. (Begins biting the skin around his nails)

HAZEL: Depending if there’s any places left etc.

ALEX: Will you be staying down there?

HAZEL: This is the thing I don’t know. I know im going to find it hard living on my own…

ALEX: I’ll come with you.

HAZEL: I thought you were staying on at college.

ALEX: I’ve been there three years already. I would like to go to uni.

HAZEL: Its expensive, accommodation and that.

ALEX: I’ll have to get a loan wont I.

HAZEL: You’ll get yourself in so much debt. Im lucky my parents work.

ALEX: I don’t care. I would travel to the ends of the earth to be with you.

HAZEL: That’s what im worried about, I don’t want you to do this for me, this is a decision you have to make for your own benefit.

ALEX: I am. I’ll have psychology to fall back on; I’ll get my degree, I’ll still write on the side, I could even produce one of these self help books, (Laughs to himself) which is sort of a contradiction in its self, but I think I’d make a good shrink.

HAZEL: Just think about it yeah. I mean, really think. Even if I do go, I’ll stay in contact, come and visit. I think I just need the experience to build on my personality you know. I can’t keep relying on my parents.

ALEX: Neither can I.

HAZEL: If you do come he’ll be there, you realize that.

ALEX: It doesn’t bother me. We’re not kids anymore, we’re both adults, we’ll have to put our differences aside. Simple as that.

HAZEL: That’s if I go, as I said nothings for certain yet.

ALEX: Ok, we’ll think about it.

HAZEL: You hungry?

ALEX: A little.

HAZEL: You must be. (Referring to him biting the skin around his nails) They say that’s the first sign of cannibalism. Are you staying for dinner?

ALEX: If you want me to.

HAZEL: Do YOU want to?

ALEX: Yeah ok.

HAZEL: I’ll just go tell mum. We’re having vegetarian lasagna.

ALEX: Ok, you’re mums a great cook.

HAZEL: Awww, I’ll tell her that.

(Hazel walks off stage, Alex is left looking at the pictures laid out on the floor as he twiddles with the shell in his hand. Blackout. Set change, Alex’s room)

Scene Seven. Show Home.

(Audience re-enter, lights come back up on Alex pacing in his room, stopping so often to take a look at his laptop screen, trying to gather inspiration. His door is shut, there is a knock interrupting Alex’s pacing, Alex has a shirt on with bold print “NEW YORK” with “(Made In England)” directly below)

ALEX: Come in.

(Alex’s aunt walks in, followed by Caroline)

AUNT: Im off now Alex.

ALEX: Ah ok. It was nice seeing you again.

AUNT: You too. Keep it up.

ALEX: Will do.

AUNT: See you soon. Good luck with everything.

ALEX: Cheers. Bye.

AUNT: (To Caroline as they exit the room) You’ll have to both come round mine one day, I’ll get Richard to take us out.

CAROLINE: (Off stage) That would be nice.

(Alex is left to his pacing. He begins rapidly beating his fist against his palm, releasing some of his pent up energy, he sits down on his hard chair again and tries to continue with his writing but struggles. Caroline walks in without knocking and begins rattling on)

CAROLINE: Like hell. Richard will take us out, when, she says that every time and every time I phone her up she’s busy. I had to leave the door open didn’t I, today of all days, I wanted to get on today, wipe down the walls, take down the curtains.

ALEX: Mum! No wonder you’ve got no friends.

CAROLINE: No because this is my life you forget boy.

ALEX: You remind me every single day how could I. I like the way you play show home when you’re family come up, act like everything’s normal, you had no problems with her washing her hands in the bathroom sink.

CAROLINE: No but I had to clean it up, water everywhere. Towel just slung over the bath, what does she think I have a towel rack for my own amusement.

ALEX: See this is what I mean mum, you’re not right, this isn’t normal. I bet she walked in here and wondered what the hell I was doing sitting on this when I’ve got that.

CAROLINE: You’re on your computer!

ALEX: No but it doesn’t matter! Im not allowed to sit on it anyway. Im not allowed to sit on a piece of my own furniture.

CAROLINE: Who brought it?

ALEX: Here we go.

CAROLINE: Look at it, just look at it.

ALEX: I can see it!

CAROLINE: I should have never got leather, leather show’s every mark, look at it, you can see every crease.

ALEX: That’s coz furniture’s meant to be sat on! Not just when people come up. No wonder im loosing my hair, im f*****g pulling it out!

CAROLINE: Well if you don’t like it you know where the door is.

ALEX: (Laughs) Dads right about you.

CAROLINE: Oh yeah you’ve been slagging me off have you?

ALEX: I never said anything.

CAROLINE: You’re father begged me to take him back them me tell you that, he begged me.

ALEX: Course he did.

CAROLINE: He did! You ask Miranda when she next comes up. As if I’d take him back, him and his chicken legs, he thought he turned me on, scrawny legs and arms.

ALEX: Mum! At least he’s not a hypocrite; at least he can admit he has a problem.

CAROLINE: You know you’re just like him. Your attitude stinks.

ALEX: Ever wondered why he started drinking again. Its you! You drive people crazy! That’s why I go out so much; I can’t think when you’re around. I can’t wait till I go uni.

CAROLINE: I don’t know what on, shirt buttons.

ALEX: Student loan.

CAROLINE: And how you going to pay that back?

ALEX: Once I’ve got a degree I can get a good job. I cant do s**t with a diploma, a diploma without a degree is like having, a gun with no bullets. You might as well take down them ornaments. (Gesturing to his student trophies)

CAROLINE: Yeah coz you never lift a finger.

ALEX: Ah f**k off! You’re not the only one who gets sick to death of being up here, I feel as if im going to drawn in this blue carpet, im suffocating, when was the last time this room was decorated!

CAROLINE: Well do it yourself then! Instead of sitting on you’re a*s at that desk.

ALEX: I’ll tell you what I’ll do. (Stands up, unplugs his laptop and takes it over to the leather couch)

CAROLINE: Don’t you dare. (Alex throws himself down on the couch, she goes nuts) Get up! Get up! (Caroline runs over to him and grabs him trying to pull him up)

ALEX: F**k off! (Pushing her away)

CAROLINE: This is my home! Get up! (Grabs his laptop off him. Holding it above her head) I’ll smash it! I will.

ALEX: (Stands up and takes his laptop back with force) Crazy b***h.

CAROLINE: (She begins patting down the couch, trying to smooth out the creases with her hands) Just look at it! Sometimes I think you’re my punishment.

ALEX: You chose to get rid of the bed! But you can’t get rid of the fact Jamie walked out, no wonder why! You’ll have no one left soon coz I cant put up with this much longer. Im not a dog!

CAROLINE: (Turns to him) Go on then, go! Go on! Leave! You’re just like you’re father! (Pushes him towards the door, picks up one of his trophies) You don’t want them up there, fine! (Throws the trophy out the door) Have it you’re way!

ALEX: F**k this. (Runs out with his laptop, Caroline storms after him, shouting from off stage)

CAROLINE: Go on! Go cry to you’re girlfriend! Go on! Im sure she’s heard it all! Ask her if you can stay there the night, see what she says!

ALEX: Piss off!

CAROLINE: She only wants you when she’s got nothing better to do! (The sound of a door slamming is heard) Yeah, good ridden. (Walks back on stage and stairs at the couch below the top bunk) F*****g thing. (She tries once more to straighten out the creases and dusts the leather with her nighty, she suddenly breaks out in tears doing so, sobbing to herself as she continues. The lights fade to blackness with her sobbing. Set change. Outside Hazels house. The lights jump back up. Alex is knocking on Hazel’s front door)

Scene eight. Gone Out.

(He waits, Hazel’s sister answers wearing the shirt Alex brought for Hazel. There seems to be tension between the two)

HS: Hiya Alex.

ALEX: Hi, that’s Hazel’s shirt.

HS: Is it?

ALEX: I brought it for her.

HS: We’re always wearing each other’s stuff.

ALEX: Really? Can I speak to Hazel please?

HS: Sorry she’s not here at the moment.

ALEX: Where is she?

HS: She’s gone out obviously.

ALEX: I text her, she didn’t text back and last night.

HS: Maybe she forgot to charge her phone, she always does that.

ALEX: I rang, got through but there was no answer.

HS: I don’t know then.

ALEX: Do you know where she’s gone?

HS: She just said to me she was going out and she wouldn’t be back late, we don’t have her electronically tagged, but I’ll tell her you called for her.

ALEX: Yeah, tell her I text her and give me a ring when she gets back.

HS: I will don’t worry.

ALEX: Thanks. (Turns his back and walks off)

HS: Have a good day.

(Blackout. Set change Alex’s dads flat, pigsty living room)

Scene Nine. Magpie.

(Lights come up to Steve sitting in his armchair twanging at his guitar whilst Frank and Gary are dosed watching the television. Steve has a black eye)

FRANK: Steve, Steve, Steve!

STEVE: Yeah.

FRANK: Give it a rest we’re trying to watch this.

STEVE: Its so out of tune. Did you put this behind the chair?

FRANK: No, you must have done it.

STEVE: Why would I leave my guitar by the radiator?

FRANK: Oh I don’t know do I. (To Gary) Turn it up will you, cant hear it.

STEVE: Its so out of tune. You must have touched it.

FRANK: I didn’t.

GARY: Why don’t you leave that til later Steve, after this? (There’s a knock at the door) Ah what now?

FRANK: Shall I answer it?

GARY: Might be Mick.

FRANK: Yeah. (Gets up and exits)

STEVE: Na he’s definitely touched this. (Tries to tune it in)

GARY: Oh yeah before I forget, if you give me you’re key I’ll get it copied just encase you loose yours, we’ll be able to let you in then, say you ever lock yourself out again. (Frank walks back on with Alex) All right buddy. (Stands up and shakes Alex’s hand)

STEVE: Alright son.

ALEX: No, no im not alright. Alright.

FRANK: What’s up? Mother giving you grief.

GARY: not again. What’s it this time?

ALEX: I really just come to see my dad.

GARY: (Stands up) Here have a seat?

ALEX: No I’d just like to speak to my dad in private, if that’s ok.

GARY: Whatever you say. We’ll go in the next room. C’mon Frank, lets let them have some time.

FRANK: Yeah might actually be able to watch something.

(They leave together)

STEVE: (Tuning in his guitar strumming at the strings to check the pitch) What’s wrong?

ALEX: (Sits down next to Steve in the other armchair) What happened to you’re eye?

STEVE: Fell over didn’t I.

ALEX: You fell over. You fall over when you drink you fall over when you don’t.

STEVE: Look son, it’s not you im hurting.

ALEX: (Taking his tone down) No you let them walk all over you.

STEVE: What you on about?

ALEX: Them ponsing, you’ve got no time for me, but them, do they even give you anything for staying here.

STEVE: It’s not like that.

ALEX: You’re a drunk, you’re not dumb.

STEVE: Look I said you could stay here whenever you want.

ALEX: Where would I sleep with them here, it’s already like a Chinese sweat shop, I can’t stay here with you like this, with them, so I’ve got no choice have I. I come round, there always here.

STEVE: They’ve got nowhere to go, what sort of friend would I be?

ALEX: Friends, they aren’t you’re friends, they’re taking you for a mug, you’ve become weak.

STEVE: Im not weak son, don’t you dare, im stronger than you’ll ever be. (Puts down his guitar momentarily and holds out his hand) Squeeze my hand, go on.

ALEX: Im not playing you’re silly games.

STEVE: No lets see how strong you are. Squeeze my hand. (Alex ignores it) You know you cant, my dad always used to say, you can tell somones strength by the way they shake hands, you got to be firm, (Squeezes his hand tight into a fist) that’s a grip, I could crush someone with this hand, you’ve got no grip. I’ve seen the way you shake hands.

ALEX: What’s that got to do with anything?

STEVE: It’s the truth, you don’t like the truth, but you can dish it out.

ALEX: Have you looked in the mirror? You’re a mess. You stink. How can you stop when you surround yourself with drinkers and lowlifes?

STEVE: I cant kick them out, Franks done a lot, he’s cooked for me and Gary, he hasn’t got his tablets yet, when he isn’t on them he gets a bit delusional, he’s a schizophrenic. (Picks back up his guitar)

ALEX: Did he do that?

STEVE: No! I told you, I tripped up on the curb. I just don’t want him out there, hurting others, he cant hurt me, no one can.

ALEX: Must have been a steep curb then. You carry on yeah, enjoy yourself.

STEVE: You don’t understand son.

ALEX: I do.

STEVE: You don’t!

ALEX: I do! You’re destroying yourself, you have them up here so you don’t feel lonely but I bet you still do.

STEVE: Do you think I need a women to make me happy, I don’t.

(Frank walks on)

FRANK: I’ll just get my lighter. (Picking his lighter off the table, looking at the ashtray) You using this Steve.

STEVE: Not at the moment. (Frank takes the lighter and ashtray and exits) That’s the difference between me and you son, im quite happy on my own.

ALEX: Yeah well, I may not have a woman for much longer.

STEVE: Oh that’s why you’re here.

ALEX: What’s that supposed to mean?

STEVE: You only come to see me when you’ve got nothing better to do.

ALEX: That’s not fair, when I do come to see you, all you do is sit there, there’s no change, it’s a one way street with you. You’re supposed to be my dad.

STEVE: I am you’re dad!

ALEX: Then start acting like one then! Do something with yourself. What have I got to inspire to?

(Frank walks in interrupting the conversation)

FRANK: Sorry, forgot my paper. (Takes his paper off the table and exits, there’s a brief pause)

STEVE: I could have been someone. Its so out of tune. Its just so, its bloody Frank leaving it by the radiator the idiot, I told him, don’t leave it by the radiator and what’s he do, its so out of tune. Have you seen it out there? The magpie on the balcony, it’s always there, on mine no one else’s just mine. (Pause) I wouldn’t mind if it was two or three but you know how the saying goes. I swear it follows me, everywhere I look its there, like a curse. Have you seen that film? The crow.

ALEX: Yes dad we watched it together.

STEVE: When?

ALEX: Ages ago.

STEVE: It’s like that. He’s invincible whilst the crows there but if it dies he dies with it. But of course he’s already dead. (Pause) I suppose I’d be scared if it wasn’t there, I’d feel vulnerable, (Laughs) what if that’s the reason im not dead? Perhaps that’s why I can drink like I can, I’ve been to hospital had tests, my livers fine, they said there’s nothing wrong with it, im amazed, they all are. (Pause) I’ve been through some s**t, I really have, its surprising im still here. Unless this is hell. Most of my friends from school are dead, Alex Minuet who I named you after, he was massive, 6ft odd built like a bear at the age of twelve, I was nothing, I must have weighed less than eight stone at the time, but he wasn’t a bully you know, not like me, he was shy, he could look after himself but he was always placid, kids would walk all over him when he could have ripped them to pieces and I mean he could, with one arm, he had fists like an ape. (Pause)

I liked him because he never looked down on me, not like some others, he never looked down on me but he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, tell me when I was out of place, I remember once this kid looked at me, he just looked and for some reason I pined him up against the wall and kneed him in the balls, just because, well because I felt like it. Alex just gave me a shake of his head, he didn’t need words, I know what I’d done and I know it was bad, he just reliterated, re, reiterated the point. He could have pulled me off and battered me like my father, but that’s the thing, he understood, understood what it was like to be me, he had a hard life, just like me, struggled with his parents, he was the only one I really ever talked to about things like that. (Pause)

He died of a failed heart, he had some sort of disease, out of everyone, out of everyone who could have died, it shouldn’t have had been him, no, he had the biggest heart out of everyone, no wonder it failed it couldn’t take the pressure. (Pause) Its just so out of tune. After that whenever I felt like I wanted to hit someone I’d just think of Alex, that’s why whenever I look at you, I know I can keep going, I know you wont desert me, you’re just like him, just like him looking out for me and I know it should be the other way round, but you keep me in check, you know, you may not be as strong physically but mentally, I wish I had you’re strength, I really do, I’d be places by now, I’d be on television, in a band, I’d be someone. So don’t be like you’re father, don’t ever give up, never because you’re the reason im still here. You’re the reason. (Pause) Finally! That sounds much better; I can show you some chords now.

ALEX: No dad its alright.

STEVE: Women love men who can play guitar. You know that’s how me and you’re mother….

ALEX: Yeah you told me.

STEVE: I remember playing this. (Begins playing a tune on the guitar as Alex sits and stares out the balcony window, the instrumental of “Looking back over my shoulder” lights fade with his playing. Set change. Alex’s bedroom)

Scene Ten. Free.

(The lights snap up to Alex lying in bed. Its daytime. He tosses and turns trying to get to sleep. The leather couch is no longer there. His mum knocks on his door before entering, she chucks a piece of paper on the floor)

CAROLINE: That came through the letterbox. I got to give that doorstep a wipe down; dam foxes have pissed up it again. (She walks out again)

(Alex sits up and looks down at the piece of paper, he has a picture of Shakespeare on his shirt with a speech bubble coming from his mouth saying “Woe, I need to get out more”, he climbs down his ladder and picks it up, its folded, he opens it and sighs, he rips it up into pieces leaving the mess on the floor, he climbs up his ladder and goes back to bed. There’s a long pause followed by some murmuring off stage. Suddenly there’s a loud scream, Alex jumps up)

CAROLINE: (Off stage) Oh no! (Pause) No! Oh, I am so, so, sorry. I cant believe it. (Pause) Your joking, (Pause) no, my god, (Pause) give them my regards. Tell them im thinking of them.

(There’s a pause of silence, Caroline walks in almost beside herself holding a cloth in her hand as she blindly ignores the ripped up paper on the floor, she looks stunned)

ALEX: What was that about?

CAROLINE: Sarah downstairs, she’s died.

ALEX: S**t.

CAROLINE: Andy thinks she committed suicide, they just, found her lying there, she didn’t move or, they just thought she was asleep but, she never woke up.

ALEX: Wow.

CAROLINE: She, she never let it get her down, I don’t know, she was, she was only thirty, so young.

ALEX: What she have?

CAROLINE: MS. (Pause) I reckon it was Mitch.

ALEX: What!

CAROLINE: I reckon it was him. He doesn’t seem all there, hardly speaks, he’s got evil eyes. Its like he’s empty.

ALEX: Mum you can’t say things like that.

CAROLINE: Alex there’s something not right about him, im telling you. He got fed up, in and out, I reckon he slipped something into her drink or did something like that.

ALEX: Mum! What the f**k are you on? She had MS. The women wasn’t well.

CAROLINE: Yeah, like me.

ALEX: She was a lot younger. You’re lucky.

CAROLINE: (Sniggers) If that’s what you call it.

ALEX: Mum Jamie….

CAROLINE: Alex not now.

ALEX: Listen. It was down to him, not you, he couldn’t cope, its his fault, he walked out on us, you didn’t walk out on him.

CAROLINE: Yeah. (Pause) At least she’s not trapped anymore.

(Blackout. Set change. Pub)

Scene 11. Reflection.

(Alex is sat with Aaron and Chris around a table. Alex has a shirt on that says “Shirt Happens”, once more Aaron and Chris both have a beer whilst Alex sits with a coke. Aaron has his arm covered up with see through wrap as he’s had a tattoo done. Alex downs his coke and slams the glass back on the table)

CHRIS: Steady on.

AARON: Remind me tomorrow I got to get some nappy rash cream.

ALEX: You seeing Eliza.

AARON: No it’s for the tattoo. Why you so worried about me seeing eliza?

ALEX: Im not, you said nappy rash cream, what else was I going to think.

AARON: Yeah but its not like it’s the first time you’ve mentioned it.

ALEX: (Sarcastic) Oh forgive me for mentioning you’re daughter, coz you never do.

AARON: Is my business. Not yours.

CHRIS: Alright guys leave it out yeah. Not tonight.

ALEX: Maybe I should get a tattoo.

CHRIS: Thought you didn’t agree with them.

ALEX: Perhaps its time for a change, signal a new era. A new me.

CHRIS: Well what would you have?

ALEX: Don’t know, im sure I’ll think of something.

AARON: Im not entirely sure about this one if im completely honest.

CHRIS: Why?

AARON: It just didn’t turn out as well as I expected.

ALEX: (Sniggers) I know the feeling.

CHRIS: Give it a week or two, it will grow on ya.

ALEX: (Laughs) Literally.

CHRIS: I’ll admit it took me a while to get used to my stars but then, it just becomes part of you, you don’t see it as a tattoo just a lair of you’re skin.

ALEX: I think im going to get a spray tan and my back waxed as well.

AARON: Oooooo good luck with that.

ALEX: And I definitely need to start working out more.

AARON: Well I got a free induction on my card if you want, but they’ll try to rope you into joining be warned.

ALEX: I just wana build myself up, my arms and legs. Im tired of being pal, I might get some fake tan, I’d probably look more muscular with a tan. I want a six-pack.

CHRIS: Rachel calls it a sex pack.

AARON: You haven’t got a six-pack.

CHRIS: I have.

AARON: Show me.

CHRIS: What I aint lifting up my shirt here. I bet I work out more than you.

AARON: (Holds out his good arm) Arm wrestle?

CHRIS: You’re going down b***h. (They look hands and begin to wrestle)

ALEX: Guys seriously, get a room.

(There’s a struggle, Chris looks like his arms dropping but he pulls it back and with much effort forces Aaron’s arm down)

AARON: S**t.

CHRIS: Pow!

AARON: Its coz I just had my tattoo.

CHRIS: F**k off that’s on the other arm.

AARON: Yeah but I’ve been bleeding a lot, im not at my full strength.

CHRIS: Been T-bagging lately, coz I smell bullocks.

AARON: Alright, best two out of three.

CHRIS: I don’t want to embarrass you again.

AARON: Alex want a shot?

ALEX: No you’re alright.

AARON: C’mon. I’ll use my other arm.

CHRIS: (Sarcastic) Yeah his poor bleeding arm.

ALEX: Na not here.

AARON: Go on.

ALEX: (Snaps) I don’t want to f*****g arm wrestle! (It goes silent. Alex catches his breath) Sorry but you don’t listen.

AARON: Its cool mate, I understand.

ALEX: It’s not because of that.

AARON: Its ok, I know how it feels; you’re speaking to me here remember.

ALEX: No it’s not that.

AARON: Ok.

ALEX: Im also thinking about shaving all my hair off, you know like pulling the plaster off quick to save the pain.

CHRIS: Not again, look, (Speaks slow, contradictive) you’re not going bald, ok.

ALEX: My hairs falling out!

CHRIS: Its not, you’re paranoid. Mine falls out, it’s just the new hairs growing in.

ALEX: Not like mine, it falls out everyday. Im thinning.

CHRIS: Your hairs fine. The more you worry, the more it will fall out.

ALEX: I know my own hair.

CHRIS: What I mean is its fine, its fine hair. It’s not thick.

ALEX: It used to be. I got it growing everywhere else but my head. It’s like im reverting back into a cave man.

AARON: Cave men never used to worry about their hair.

ALEX: They never used to be able to speak either. Perhaps im losing my hair coz im getting smarter, you know, more room for my brain to breath. I don’t want to end up one of these people with hair round the sides and not on top, maybe being bald would make me look more distinctive you know.

CHRIS: Its you’re life.

ALEX: Yes it is. I got an interview tomorrow for primark.

AARON: Good luck.

ALEX: I know the entire layout of the shop so I think that will make up for my lack of experience.

AARON: That’s what annoys me, took me ages to get a job, they want experience but if no ones willing to hire you what are you supposed to do.

ALEX: Exactly. You know the script I sent off to the BBC, I got it back this morning through the post.

CHRIS: Wicked.

ALEX: Surely it being sent back through the post says something to you; they didn’t even give it a chance. Read ten pages and said they weren’t able to give me any feedback due to the mass numbers of scripts they get. That’s their job, to read. Lazy fuckers, how can you judge a 140 page….

CHRIS: 140!

ALEX: Yeah, alright I may have went on a bit, but I had a point. You cant just read ten pages and say its not good enough, cost me a bundle to print and send, do they forget that, paper cost money, what a waste yet they ask for a full copy, you’re not allowed to send extracts no there very strict about that and there’s me thinking were trying to preserve trees. Like f**k. Its too clever for them, you know the best writers struggle to make it coz the best writers are original and original work’s hard to sell.

AARON: I thought you won that competition.

ALEX: I did, that was poetry though.

AARON: Well there you go; you know you’re good at it.

CHRIS: What was the poem?

ALEX: Ah just some poem I wrote around the title of the play. See that’s what I mean, if I tried to be original I would have got nowhere, so I threw together some bullshit rhymes and lord behold, they eat it up.

AARON: What was the play?

ALEX: Bloody poetry, should give you a little insight.

AARON: Wait wasn’t that the poem you wrote about the park, the one you put up on facebook.

ALEX: Nope, that was another one I wrote, I wrote that one for, you know who. I tried to give it to her before she left, banged hell out of her door, I posted it through the letterbox and she posted it back. She obviously didn’t give a f**k. Just like the BBC. So I wrote another one to send off, one a little more true to reality.

CHRIS: Mate you have to get it off you’re chest otherwise you’re gonna go crazy.

ALEX: (Laughs) Im one step ahead of you there. I cant seem to sleep, I’ve got too many thoughts going through my brain, I wake up so early but I don’t want to get up but I have to because my thoughts wont let me sleep. So I have to write them down just so I can get some peace in my head, but once I start one idea my mind races to another and I can never seem to catch up and im scared, im so scared that I never will, I’ll just keep running and never reach the end or worse end up like my mum or dad, that’s the hardest thing about waking up, you go to bed wishing that for one day everything could be normal and happy but you know, that nothing ever changes over night, no matter how hard you wish.

I mean what have I got, three trophies, a diploma that means nothing without a degree, an award given to me by a dead man, I haven’t got a car, no money saved up, I’d hardly say that was an achievement. I cant go uni, haven’t got the money, too late to get a student loan, I was refused a scholarship, seems all that hard works amounted to nothing, what the f**k am I going to do? I see my parents as a horrible reflection of the future, I look at my dad and he’s alone, he’s a mess and I think, that could be me one day, what if I keep running but never get anywhere and end up trapped, in the same spot, mums just the same, trapped in four walls, alone, going crazy with no escape. I feel old, I know im just 18 but I feel 19, its like im always rounding up, one step ahead of everyone. Have you ever looked at a clock and thought it had stopped and then suddenly it starts up again, it’s like somones accidentally lent on the pause button. At least dad has drink and I have my writing but mums got nothing, that’s the biggest problem about not having a hobby, you cant take you’re mind off anything.

I’d love to have a normal life, normal parents, a normal hobby, football or something pro-active coz writings a mind f**k. Especially when you don’t even know what you’re writing about. In fact it just makes things harder, I get a job, go to college, go out, but everything leads back to my laptop, I cant take my mind off it, its like im trying to make sense of life, trying to crack the code. I’ve got too many ideas circulating round my head that one day I think I’ll just spontaneously combust. Its like when I bite the skin around my nails, it doesn’t hurt, people look at me weird like im a cannibal, are you still a cannibal if you eat yourself?

But I think that’s them in my head trying to get out, we’ve got what five layers of skin, what if under each there’s a different character waiting to be set free, im just in the drivers seat for now and they’re just waiting for their turn. Maybe that’s why my hairs falling out, im going through a transformation. Perhaps then I’d be able to sleep, get a real job and stop living in this fantasy. Because before long what will I leave behind? Shakespeare was bald on top, I reckon she noticed, she must have done, she always ran her fingers through my hair. Im just existing, im not living. That’s what she said to me, she said, there are those that do and those that create, she was my biggest achievement, she’s the only girlfriend I’ve ever had, hell she’s the only girl-friend I’ve ever had plural and we never had sex, not once, it was never brought up, I wanted to but, where, where could we go, my mum would never let her up and her family were always too close to her and I couldn’t take her to my dads, not in that state, where was I going to take her, down the shed. Yeah real romantic. But it doesn’t matter, she’s packed up and pissed off, must be nice to have parents who throw money at you. Must be nice to have good parents, parents who you can follow in their footsteps, who have I got? Cant follow in my dads coz he cant even walk in a straight line. I just have to learn to accept I’ll never be more than medico I suppose.

(Pause)

I really thought we had a future, I guess not. That’s the thing, we’re all ignorant, we all think everything revolves around us, we like to, the people you know, the places you go, you get this thought that you’re at the center of everything, that you never stopped to think that, none of this may not even be about you and just like gravity, just like a kick in the nuts you’re pulled back down again. She said she had a realization when she was on holiday, she didn’t miss me as much as she thought she would, we’d been friends for longer than we’d been intimate and she thought our relationship was just a miss guided evolution of our friendship, but I think I loved her even when we were friends, way before we were together, I even carved our names into my old willow tree inside of a heart, I didn’t tell her that, we weren’t together then, I never told her, not after mum had it cut down, I was so angry with her. (Laughs) I guess I should have taken that as a bad omen. At least you and Hannah will always have a connection, you’ve got a child, who’s to say that won’t bring you back together.

AARON: Not really, do you think she gives a f**k about me? She’s got a new man. That child won’t know who I am soon.

ALEX: That’s why you’ve got to make more of an effort to see her, that’s why I keep saying. I know what its like to be distant from my father.

AARON: I know its just, hard, I see them together and it, you know it hurts.

ALEX: Yeah. I threw out all the photos of us, I can’t look at them anymore without feeling sick. I think I need to start exercising more, get a tan and im definitely going to start shaving. I went to that bloody poetry, I had a spare ticket but I went alone, you know I won that poem competition and I was sitting in the front row and there’s these two characters kissing dead in front of me, really going at it and these thoughts just popped into my head, I imagined it was her with some other guy, just about to get it on, and im just there watching and I cant do anything to stop it, I think I was a bad kisser, she was always the first to pull away, I thought I was paranoid but, it was instinct more than anything, I kinda knew even before she said, she never used to say I. I’d say I love you and she’d say love you too, she never said I, I love you too, it seems inadequate to you I know but, to me it was defining, awkward moments brushed away with an awwww. Coz I know when she gets to uni, that’s it, I’ll be forgotten, she’ll have her own dorm and, privacy, and, I’ll be alone, I wish I’d never wrote that poem for her, I think she got scared of me. You know what she brought me back from holiday, I asked her to bring me back a shell, she said she’d bring me back a shell shaped like her heart, a token of her love and that’s what she left me with, an empty shell. (Laughs to himself) That’s a metaphor in its self, that’s poetic. They say you’re only half a person until you meet that someone, hence the other half. You want to hear my poem, what won me a ticket to misery. (There’s a subtle nod as Chris and Aaron are sat on his every word) It goes,

You gave me breath when I was suffocating.

Gave me life when I was near death.

Opened my lungs so that I may speak.

With a beautiful whisper from your lips.

Your smile allowed me to see.

I flew too high to the sun.

Fell forever to have felt your touch.

With broken wings I wait.

Here in the dark I lay.

Begging for a spark of your love.

Memories cloud my mind like prison bars.

May you have mercy upon my tears?

For everyday I pray you set me free.

From this empty shell I cannot escape.

CHRIS: (Taken back) That’s good mate. That’s really good.

ALEX: I call it birth. (Pause) What do I have to show for my life now? Ay. (Pause) Except fingerprints. (Laughs to himself, pushes away his glass) I think I need a stronger drink.

(Blackout. The sound of pouring rain and thunder is heard. Set change. Flashback. Alex’s shed that was converted into his very own den)

Scene 12. Down Pore. (Epilogue)

(The lights come up on younger versions of Alex, Hazel and Hazels sister along with Jamie sat around a monopoly board all sat at opposite corners of the board as the rain falls hard, Jamie is the banker Hazels sister rolls the dice. There is a dingy sofa at the back, Alex is wearing a “Back In The Day” shirt )

HS: Seven.

HAZEL: That’s five.

HS: Oh yeah. (Moves her piece)

HAZEL: Stop cheating.

HS: Im not!

(Hazel rolls the dice and moves her piece counting out loud)

HAZEL: One, two, three, four. Four. Community chest. (Jamie hands her a card, she reads it out loud) You’re behind on you’re tax, you must repay a hundred dollars. A hundred! I’ve got to stop reading out loud. (Shuffling her money)

JAMIE: (Holding out his hand) Chop, chop.

ALEX: It doesn’t mean you get it.

JAMIE: I know.

ALEX: I wanted to be the banker and you know I always have the top hat.

JAMIE: You cant always be the top hat.

HAZEL: Here. (Handing him the money)

JAMIE: Tank you.

HAZEL: I’ll be bust soon.

JAMIE: Its ok, I’ll let you borrow some.

(Hazel throws the dice to Alex, Alex rolls the dice and moves his piece, he makes it past go)

ALEX: That’s two hundred.

JAMIE: (Goes to pick out the money) Wait a minute, is this you’re first time round the board?

ALEX: No.

JAMIE: Are you sure?

HS: I think it is.

ALEX: No I’ve already been round.

JAMIE: No hold on you got the jail card, that doesn’t count.

ALEX: Ah whatever I don’t care it’s only a game. (Throws the dice to Jamie)

JAMIE: Nice try.

ALEX: I’ll own all this for real one day.

JAMIE: In imagination land maybe.

ALEX: You’ll have to pay me to live.

JAMIE: Course I will. Wake up to reality.

ALEX: Shut up.

JAMIE: (Shakes the dice in his hands vigorously and gives them a blow) C’mon baby (Alex rolls his eyes).

(Jamie throws his dice down and there’s an almighty thunder crash, Hazels sister jumps)

ALEX: Woe, that was a biggen.

JAMIE: Ten. One, two, three, four, five, one, two, three, four, five.

ALEX: You can count to five.

JAMIE: Just so you know im not cheating. (HS goes to grab the dice) Wait a second I think I’ll buy that. (Sieving through the property cards)

HAZEL: Light bulb factory?

JAMIE: Just encase there’s a power shortage. (Hazel laughs)

(There’s another crash of thunder, HS jumps again)

HS: I hate it, I wish it would stop.

ALEX: Wrong game to be playing I suppose.

HS: Why?

ALEX: Well metal attracts lightning. What are the pieces made out of?

HS: I don’t want to play anymore.

HAZEL: Don’t be stupid; he’s winding you up.

ALEX: It’s a known fact, there was this guy caught out in a power storm, he had a single coin in his pocket, he was struck walking home, not once but twice. It could come through that window. Hit the tree, tree could collapse on us.

(There’s another big bolt of lightning, HS jumps up in tears and runs for the door, shes stopped by Hazel)

HAZEL: You’ll get soaked, get a cold than give it to me.

HS: I want to go home.

JAMIE: There’s a one in a million chance.

ALEX: What a way to go though. Part of you would have to feel special.

JAMIE: (To Alex) What’s wrong with you?

ALEX: Though it could always have the opposite effect, bring the dead back to life, we might see some zombies walking about or Sunflower she’s somewhere in the garden. Can you imagine a zombie hamster?

JAMIE: Not really Alex, it’s impossible.

(Loud crack from the sky)

HS: I want mum.

HAZEL: (She hugs her sister) It will stop soon.

ALEX: (To HS) Sorry, I was just joking.

HS: Its not funny!

HAZEL: Alex she’s scared of lightning.

ALEX: I said im sorry.

JAMIE: Don’t worry Fern we’re safe in here I promise you.

(The sound of the shed door creaking open is heard as a smartly dressed sober looking level headed Steve walks on with a towel around his head and a handful of towels for the children)

STEVE: What you doing sitting in here?

JAMIE: It’s raining.

STEVE: (Chuckles) I can see that Jamie. (Slings them each a towel) C’mon lets get you upstairs, get you all something to eat, I’ll order something in.

ALEX: (Discreetly to his dad) Is mum alright with this?

STEVE: I don’t care. (The kids stand up and hold the towels over their heads) Right lets make a run for it, leave the monopoly it’ll get soaked. I used to love the rain when I was a kid. Last one out close the shed. On you’re marks, set, go! (Steve dashes off with Jamie and HS staying close to his side, Hazels just about to run out but is stopped by Alex who pulls her back)

ALEX: Sorry about what I said. I really am, I didn’t think she’d take it so serious, I don’t want you to hate me, you don’t do you?

HAZEL: No of course not silly, c’mon we better go.

ALEX: (Still holding onto her arm) Good coz I really like.

HAZEL: I really like you too now c’mon. (Goes to pull him out)

ALEX: No I mean, (Moves the towel away and kisses her on the cheek) That’s what I mean. (She comes over flushed)

HAZEL: Oh. That’s sweet. (There hands move down to each other’s as they lock fingers) C’mon we got to lock up the shed.

(They walk off stage hand in hand. Slow fade to pita patter rain fall)

THE END.