Calling.

Calling.

A Poem by Deathless_Sorrow
"

12/24/2011

"

So deep in the dark.

So far away, no one can see.

We've lost your gaze and came undone.

Where have you gone? 

What have you done?

The waves can't touch you now.

But still, you stay far away from the tide.

Come back love.

Come back home.

We've lost so much time.


We are calling.

Calling you home, love.

Come back, save us from the sublime.

© 2011 Deathless_Sorrow


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I really like the sound of this and the feelings it conjures up in me. The last line is mysterious to me and makes me go off on so many trails. It speaks to me of someone who has left home and may have caused some drama there...this may be way off from what you intended but it works for me :) - that would explain to me the last line as sometimes when the "scapegoat" leaves it can shake things up and the "sublime" doesn't feel that way anymore. Just my take.

I have a suggestion, if it works for you...I was a stopped a bit with the lines:
"The waves can't touch you now.
But still, you stay far away from the tide." It is just a small thing but to me it might do better omitting the "But still" - that's just my take and may not work for you.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on December 24, 2011
Last Updated on December 24, 2011
Tags: Deathless, Sorrow, Maith, Matt, Poetry, Keenum

Author

Deathless_Sorrow
Deathless_Sorrow

Greenup, KY



About
My name is Matt. I've come to a bit of a block recently and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to drag myself out of it, so don't expect frequent posts. Thanks for reading. more..

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