Beauty

A Poem by Deidara

Her hair it glows just like the sun

smells warm and fresh like a bun

from gold silk threads it was spun

for me she is the only one

Her smile electrifies the sky

it shows itself, it is not shy

it draws me hither and nigh

I cannot say goodbye

Her lips like cherries do they glow

and draw me hither to and fro

and like the soft river flow

they remind me of long ago

Here eyes are pools of deep blue sea

I fall into them freely drowning

her gaze is magnificent can't you see?

When I stare into them I'm never frowning

© 2019 Deidara

My Review

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Reviews

EternalDarkness

Kind of cheesy, don't you think? The concept, I mean. Besides the concept, it was pretty good. The description and some personification you use was nice. It seems as if you wrote this for somebody. I wouldn't be surprised if it were. I haven't read your other poetry but I am now, to see what else you wrote. I'm interested. The feelings conveyed in this was kind of sweet, something I'm not used to since I don't read poetry like this. Otherwise, it was nice...different from what I read. The concept may be overused but overall, the description was nice. Sorry, I'm repeating myself. I'm fascinated by what you have and will continue on reading your other work. Good luck.

Posted 12 Years Ago

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12 Years Ago

...Sorry, I tend to go on and on about my opinion. It's a habit. :/ But anyway, yeah. Good luck with.. read more

12 Years Ago

Thanks

12 Years Ago

No problem.

Trigorin

Not bad, but check your spelling and grammar. You have a good concept but it's marred somewhat by those little, easily fixable errors. It makes it look like you don't care about the piece if you leave them as they are.