Lost love

Her lover's hand did she hold

fading pulse and body cold

And on that night it was told

Death would come twofold

Heart in pieces did she mourn

long black dress she did adorn

Her lover's life she wished reborn

on blood bound oath it was sworn

To be reunited was her hope

for without him she could not cope

and to death's door she did lope

and for her love she tied the rope

Her spirit flew to a world ethereal

of lofty things and things surreal

pearly gates she did go through

to find her love anew

She searched to and fro

up and low

to no avail

his trail was stale

To deep dark depths she did search next

The long search did leave her vexed

for to the land of the dead she did trek

to reclaim her love and kiss his neck

On leaky boat she crossed river styx

the dead her gaze she did affix

but as time continued to tick

she rushed to find her lover quick

A tear falls down her ghostly cheek

she had no words, she could not speak

Her lover lost, where could he be?

to death again she tried to flee

Her distraught spirit came to sudden realization

that her lover was naught but pure imagination

Reviews

[quinfinn]

whew! this is profoundly disturbing, especially that killer surprise ending. i like the rhyme scheme herein and the meter is damned near perfect. some of the rhymes seem a little forced but, it works very well as a whole. definitely worth the read! well done....

[Deidara]

Ah, thank you so much. Yeah I'm working on the rhyme and meter for future works, I think they are the few things holding my poems back. You know what's so funny? About 30 minutes ago I was looking through contests and saw your Erotica poem and man it was amazing, your a great writer I thought, and now you find your way to my work lol.

[quinfinn]

you write very well, just a little spit and polish and you'll be great...never stop honing your craft. and thank you for your wonderful words about my story... glad you enjoyed it so much!

[EternalDarkness]

The ending was great. It's somehow strange though. This is an enjoyable poem but I feel as if there's something partially missing. I don't exactly know but something like that I guess. It's probably the rhyme scheme. I felt as if it was a bit off. I have no idea why. Besides the rhyme scheme, it was good I guess. A bit better than some of your other ones, probably one of the best. The ending showed a huge twist which I found fascianting. Eh, probably because I'm a sadist. How it originated it from was also quite sweet. I'm quite interested in what Becca wrote. Aside from the short story, I also like how you used mythology in it. (the styx) I have always been intrigued by Greek Mythology. The fact that you used it here makes it even better. it's more than decent/mediocre but it's also not perfect. Excellent or great, I think. Anyhow, carry on with your poetry. I''m almost always amazed by what you write. :D