Lost and Unloved

I am now stranded. Alone. I couldn’t tie ends or ask for forgiveness. There were things I couldn’t undo; couldn’t unsay.
I now pray to live. Gave up my ease and immunity to all that could hurt me. Adapted my whole life from the one I once thrived; no survived.
I can remember the days I wanted a way out. Those days felt less like gifts; but scraps. Less like sweet; but poison.
The smallest imperfections would make the biggest difference. The shallowest cough; birthed the deepest echo.
I didn’t know how much you could miss something you couldn’t have, the life you weren't given. The life that was taken.
I have memories of the things I once did; less than the things I said.
I only hope that I chose the right to pursue. After all that happened, I hope enough was given to you.
Maybe one day the tides of the sadness will fade and the waves can give back the life I could have saved.