In The Ville

It doesn't matter if I take
these pills
Live on cheap thrills
and throw my life away..
whats another day
in this hell hole I call,
my life.
Down another shot
and its stings going
down
but I don't make
a sound...

Roll another blunt
and hit the road
We're taking my hooptie
as its dragging its soles
Clamber away in
a cloud of smoke
We can find something
to do

even though we're broke.




Wake up
and its another day.
bright outside
but I'm still wasting away

So I snort another line
pop open that beer.
roll another blunt
and we'll be just fine
right here.

I'm rolling
on the ashes of my own
demise
I hate all of you but I just
tell my self lies.
Breaking down into
these viscious street
highs.
but I dont think I'll live
long enough to drown
my cries.

Reviews

[Michael X]

so raw and passionate and artfully sculpted sentences tht create a sense of
breathing in the linebreaks, and the meaning sings of a tragedy
and loss to utter the joys of sorrow, the way drinking drowns away
the tears, and neon lights cultivate the mind to lose itself in the notion,
you have such an amazing way with words, and the emotions are
felt to the inner core, passionate and soft poison.

[Miss Coral]

This was great- really reminds me of a piece I wrote. Apathy gives way to real, raw, inescapable emotion. I would try being more consistent with grammar, but otherwise, I think this was perfect. Nice write.

-Coral-

[Walter Scott Morrison]

Lots of agonizing feelings

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Persistent habitual patterns..there has to be a way out.

[Crow]

I can feel a sense of despair in the words, the ennui of life. It sends a message reminding me of adolescence, and the dark thoughts that loom from within. I loved it!

[Aven]

I recognize the feeling, being trapped in a hole and not knowing how to get out. Very deep!

[Cynthia]

Nice Work.

live hard or die tryin..

has the flow of a song to it.

[Norma M Sutton]

This is different. Not sure if it's in a good way or a bad way. The content, not the writing. The writing is great.

[Zackery Alan Daley]

I loved how brutally honest the poem was. Of course I loved this stanza because I am a huge stoner. That's probably why it didn't fit with the rest of the poem to me, unless it was like a comic relief for the readers. Job well done.


Roll another blunt
and hit the road
We're taking my hooptie
as its dragging its soles
Clamber away in
a cloud of smoke
We can find something
to do
even though we're broke.