Lessons

Lessons

A Poem by Moonflower

 

 

We sat close to the window

Letting our eyelashes burn

And I thought that maybe you'd know

all the lessons I had yet to learn

 

So when trudging down the sidewalk

beside that empty, broken street

We didn't laugh, We didn't talk

As the leaves swirled around our feet

 

Oh They say this world is turning

at such an uncertain degree

But when I'm lying on the pavement

it doesn't really matter to me

 

We tried to take the pieces

and sew them back together again

So if our love ever ceases

We'll have something to remember this

 

I wish that I could remove

all that grey behind your eyes

Life can't always be smooth

but I guess it doesn't hurt to try

 

Cause they say this world is turning

at an uncertain degree

but I think that it's okay, dear

It never really mattered to me

 

Yeah they say this world is turning

at a measurable speed

But when I see your face dear

Nothing ever matters to me

© 2010 Moonflower


Author's Note

Moonflower
This is a song I'm working on...the lyrics may change, I'm not to happy with them, I think I could make it better. Tell me what you think.

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Featured Review

As a poem, it's beautiful...as lyrics...well, I don't know too much about lyrics...but as a poem...please..leave it as is :) It's lovely...
I love these lines:
Oh They say this world is turning

at such an uncertain degree

But when I'm lieing on the pavement

it doesn't really matter to me


And the idea of memories reminding one of past love:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like to go down your list of reviews because you always seem to have some serious-minded, pretentious "artiste" who really wants to tell you what's wrong with your poem or the subject you cover. If this is how you feel or what you wish to convey in your lyrics--nothing is wrong with that. They are YOUR feelings. And though we may not share them, we can still admire the artistic effort you put into describing them.
The flow is smooth like honey and the words are sweet and carefully simple enough not to be intimidating. I find the subject beautiful in a beautiful, nonsensical way. The way love effects you where nothing else really and truly matters. And I believe that if you set this to a soothing, ambient beat it would take my breath away.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting love :) Great to see lyrics around here too lol
This would be a great song, fitted with a nice classical guitar, I feel lol
Great work
xx

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is great. I think it would make a lovely song... :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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I like the sound and the lyrics, but the
philosophy I don`t buy.
If someone thinks their significant other,
their love, or lover is going to pull them out
of a sordid life, or if they think that someone
will help them escape their sordid lifestyle,
they must relax and be patient because they
are in for an intolerable long wait.

Very well written.

----- Eagle Cruagh

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this peom and I can't wait until you finish song.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Since you're welcoming nitpicking, I shall aim to please, but I think I'll take it to email. It's easier to point things out if I paste the whole thing there with features like strike through and italics. ;)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

As a poem, it's beautiful...as lyrics...well, I don't know too much about lyrics...but as a poem...please..leave it as is :) It's lovely...
I love these lines:
Oh They say this world is turning

at such an uncertain degree

But when I'm lieing on the pavement

it doesn't really matter to me


And the idea of memories reminding one of past love:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well it's working for me, as I read it, I was thinking that it would make a great song, then the note said that's what it was. It works beautifully.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

As a poem I say I like it, great imagery.

However, I don't do lyrics for one reason, I think I would suck at it...sorry I am just not a musical person.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

beautiful write... specially liked: 'And I thought that maybe you'd know, all the lessons I had yet to learn'.... and ABAB my fav rhyme scheme.... excellent work...

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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30 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 1, 2010
Last Updated on October 9, 2010

Author

Moonflower
Moonflower

Louisville, KY



About
Hello :) My name is Desiree. What brings me to this website is my love for poetry and storytelling. At this time I consider myself more of a poet, than a writer or author. I do not have the pa.. more..

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