Stagnet

When you lose, you lose

I tried to hold your hand, but you wouldn't let me
  Oh no, you couldn't let me

But the way you smiled, oh so sweetly
  It let me know how you were feeling
And your eyes were like frosted glass
  Misted over, so
I couldn't see what passed
    behind the windows
Yeah I guess my memory is a bit hazy
    ...these days
Maybe its just...everything
Just every thing
Weighing in,
  weighing
            Me
                   d
                     o
                       w
                          n

They told me it was only a matter of time,
I'd realize...
       
I'm never getting out of this town.

And I woke up with a bottle of regret,
tipped it over just trying to get out of bed
And it all spilled out like hourglass sand
What am I supposed to do?
 I don't know, but life seems cruel..today it seems
   so cruel
It all seems like a big joke, and the jokes on me
..yeah...the jokes on me

So I smoke another cigarette
  and the nicotine
it clouds my brain
and sends me reeling, I'm staring
at my hands
  remembering
where they have been
and tears are just
  another excuse to
get back into bed
crawl back into nightmares and the
choking sent of weed
crawl back into a coma
So I don't have to breathe

on my own..

Author's Note

Have you ever walked a road thats paved in circles?

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

This is so vivid and powerful, it's one of the most raw "depression" poems I've read for a while. "And I woke up with a bottle of regret, tipped it over just trying to get out of bed, and it all spilled out like hourglass sand" is a particularly stark, but very original and beautiful, way of expressing this feeling. I like how the poem has three sections, beginning with the introduction, which is the thought that spurs the feeling, verse two is descriptive, and the third verse describes consequence. A great metaphor. Really inventively and effectively structured. Great writing!

[Hippy]

ive been on a road paved in circles its funny cause i was the one who paved it,
but neways i enjoyed this speaking of an affection to someone and how you cant see what they really think through the frosted eyes and the 'down' reminded me much of one of my friend marshalls work
i do say this may be one of your weaker pieces, but stronger on jumping between lines, also many nice metaphors

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I love the asymmetrical structure. It really expresses
the words coming from the heart. "Down" was brilliant!
This poem is wonderful. Your poured in an extra dose
of longing (to be free). I love how it doesnt feel like you
took long to write this. There is true honesty that comes
with venting...when the seams burst.

[Ed Hart]

yes, it feels like that, but you'll get out of town...you ain't near done yet

[Pax Analog]

Interesting title. Stagnation scene of the crime, caught.

And yes certainly a double-impasse (love and place) all too easy to relate to.

I like the part "your eyes were like frosted glass" -- chilly and impenetrable windows to the soul.

Lyric-like too, reflecting that aspect of your expression.

Let's hope the poet breaks free and through -- as well as the rest of us. ;-)

[Coyote Poetry]

My life today is a circle. Seem like I get no-where no matter what I go. A lot of good prisons that we can be lock-up in. A very good poem. I could free the pressure and need to escape. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Randolf Ramos]

So true there are beautiful women that we cant resist to love or somehow adore, the bottom line is no matter what happen, the feeling there is so good, TO BE IN LOVE.

[Robin]

deja vu blues ~