Dear Daddy,

this is what you did to us

The empty brown bottle that you see me through

Became what you love and adore.

The pills that took away the person I once knew

Made you not care for me anymore.

The smoke that clouds your face in a shroud of black and blue

Turned you into the man I now abhor.

But these vices cannot be all that you say I made you turn to;

Daddy, what else did you leave me for?

Author's Note

reviews?

Reviews

[Charles]

Direct and to the point. Good idea putting the vices between you and him and, yes, there is always that question of what more? While I like the poem as it is, it might do with some editing - I don't know what specifically would raise it to the next level, but you might play with it for a while. Ultimately, it might come to reat in the same place many of mine do - not bad, but not the greatest either. Keep it up.

[misha]

=( Great poem

[Nyida Strong]

Ouch... I like this for the rawness of it. Pain of loosing a father is hard, harder still is when he's never really gone in the first place.

N. Strong