Chapter 1

A lie, a lost battle, and a friend.

Chapter 1

Red went straight to his room when he got home from school, not even bothering to stop in the kitchen for snacks. It hadn’t necessarily been a bad day at school, but it wasn’t much better as his chemistry teacher, Harrison singled him out and berated him for the rest of the class about pretty much nothing. No surprise in that though, as Harrison thoroughly enjoyed giving him detentions on a regular basis and scolding him for miscellaneous things. Red wouldn’t be shocked at all if he turned out to be a psychopath.

But despite his chemistry class, the rest of the day was mediocre, with his best friend Andy making googly eyes at his girlfriend Olivia, and Ryan and Jack discussing the latest English assignment they received. The queen bee of their grade, Katherine, rolling her eyes each time someone made a comment about something obvious, but none the less agreeing before texting her boyfriend, Michael, who was currently studying abroad in London.

And before he knew it, the hours spent wasted at school for that day, had gone by, and with the final bell ringing, Red had been pulling out of the parking lot in his ocean blue jeep.

Setting his backpack down on his bed, or, rather, throwing it, Red went to his desk on the other side of the room to start up his laptop. During lunch, Olivia had mentioned something about a Yotsuya Kaidan, some sort of Japanese mythological creature, and he had been intrigued. Olivia hadn’t known much, only that she overheard her mother talking about it the night before.

Drumming his fingers on the wood desk, Red sat down in the black chair nearby and began to swirl around in circles on it. He hummed a tune, a Polish song his mother had sung to him as a child, before being interrupted by a soft, vibrating noise. Practically falling out of his chair, Red raced over to his backpack and flung it upright, quickly searching through the pockets.

“Red,” he said into the receiver.

“Hey, I can’t come.”

“Wait, what? Are you okay?” Red’s face adopted a puzzled expression and he shifted his weight onto his left foot, resting his thigh against the side of his bed. Andy had been planning to come over later to play some videogames, and to make-up for the last three times he had had to ditch.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just have...other things I need to, uh, take care of. Could I come over tomorrow? Mom’s at work then, so I could spend the night too.” At this point, Andy let out a giggle in a sort of a muffled sound as if someone had pressed a hand up against his mouth. Frowning and sitting down on his bed, Red felt a feeling of annoyance start gnawing at him.

“I guess.” It was all he could say to keep the clipped, angry tone out of his voice. Andy was ditching him, again, for Olivia.

“Sorry, Red.” Andy’s voice rang with sympathy, and the apology almost sounded real. In the background though, Red could hear Olivia giggling. Anger pulsed through his veins, but he knocked it down.

“Yeah,” he hummed, “see ya.”  His voice was tight, and he hung up before tossing his phone at the wall, putting a small dent into the powder blue paint and shattering the phone to pieces. Sighing, Red fell back on his bed, barely missing his backpack, and spread his arms out widely, his left-hand fingers brushing one of the pillows.

His golden brown eyes stared at the star-stickered ceiling like it held all the answers he needed. Like, why did he feel like Andy and he weren’t as great as friends anymore? It had always been ‘Andy and Red’ or ‘Red and Andy’ show. But now it was more like ‘Andy and Olivia….and Red’.

It had always been him and he knows that Andy would never purposely ignore him, but Red couldn't help but feel like that's what was beginning to happen.

Red; the ADHD teen with habitual self-sacrificing tendencies mixed with 100% human and sarcastic comments.

Red started to shake with hurt and anxiety, causing him to realize that he needed to calm down before an anxiety attack begun. The idea of a shower, popped into his mind, and he nodded at the good idea, standing up as he did so.

At no particular speed, Red undressed, ignoring the bright red screen on his laptop asking for the password, and hopped into the adjoining bathrooms’ shower, turning the dial to 'mildly-hot'. Breathing in and out slowly, he let the warming water run down his body, flushing his skin slowly. His heart seemed to have a different idea, however, and started speeding up again. Calm down, Red instructed himself.

Control, the world flashed through his mind. He needed to get in control. His mind raced, trying to find something, anything that would calm him or slow his heartbeat. He needed an anchor, something, that would be comforting and stop him from having an anxiety attack. A thought passed through his head, and the second he actually thought about doing it, he froze. His skin prickled underneath the cooling spray of the shower but all Red could do was focus on that thought.

More demons soon came; memories of sounds, metal scraping together, a terrible screech, and glass shattering. The anxiety attack hit him, his breath shortening and coming out in small, ragged breaths. Control, he told himself.

Red hadn’t considered hurting himself in years, not since the time his father had gotten into an accident and had to spend the night at the hospital due to a concussion, and the doctors insisting on keeping on eye on him. The only reason he hadn’t stayed that night with his father was because Andy’s mother, Ms. O’Brien, forced him to go home and sleep so he could be well rested. True, she had known the amount of worry Red had for his only parent, but she had convinced him that he wouldn’t be able to help without sleep, and reluctantly, Red had gone home. Andy had offered to come over that night in seventh grade, yet, despite the fact that he really did need someone, Red denied the offer and said he’d be fine, that he really just wanted to be alone.

He started to hyperventilate, his chest hurting from the lack of oxygen. His vision had dark spots on it, and Red struggled to turn off the water. Slipping and hitting his head in the shower, wasn’t the best idea at the moment.

Stepping out of the shower, and wrapping himself in his towel from the nearby rack, Red backed up against the wall and slid down to where his legs were spread out in front of him. Slowly, and after what seemed to be an hour to him, but in reality was three minutes, his breath went back to normal. His eyesight cleared up, and exhaustion riddled his body.

And yet, the thought kept pestering him. Encouraging him, begging him, enticing him…

As if another person had taken over his body, his arms moved toward the bottom right-hand drawer under the bathroom sink. Shakily, Red took out an eyeglass case, something that used to belong to his mother, and leaned back against the wall again. He opened it carefully, revealing the numerous amounts of razor blades, twenty or so, that were hidden.

Back when it was a habitual part of his life, every time a month would pass, Red would open a new razor. He wanted to feel pain, giving him control. He didn’t want to get sick with metal poisoning or something like that.

But now, taking one that was directly on top of the others, he held the blade in his left hand, the twitching tendons in his wrist making it tremble slightly. Don’t do it….do it….Don’t do it…do it. He kept debating back and forth inside his head and, suddenly, there were four small cuts on his right wrist. Red felt his heart rate slow down a little. One more…then I'll stop…any more would just make them worry. With a shaky hand, he cut. Red gasped, signals of pain jumping up and down his spinal cord. A part of his brain was screaming at him - quick, bandage it. The cut itself wasn’t extremely deep, but it couldn’t be considered shallow.

Jumping up, carefully to keep his wrist level and not drop blood on the bathroom floor, Red rested his wrist down on the counter, and got out the thin medical tape and a large, but inconspicuous enough, band-aid from the cabinet about the sink. He hissed out at the band-aid brushing against the cuts, but he pressed on until it lay flatly against his arm and was covering up the red marks.

Tears threatened to fall, and Red shook his head. He had broken his promise. Guilt-ridden and feeling absolutely terrible and drained, Red moved into his room, and very sluggishly put on his red plaid pajama pants. By the time his back hit the mattress, he was out.

---

A soft touch jolted him awake, his hands quickly coming out from under his pillow to defend himself if necessary.

“Red, it’s alright. It’s just me.” His dad’s voice sounded out from the darkness that encased his room. “I was just checking on you before I went to bed. Have you been asleep this whole time?” Red’s whole body relaxed, and he nodded, not in the mood to say anything. “Alright,” the murmur barely registered before he fell asleep again.

---

Roughly an hour later, Red sat straight up, panting and tightly gripping his right wrist. He must’ve rubbed it on the sheets somehow. The tension in his body drained out, but there was no way he could go back to sleep at the moment. He could try to sneak downstairs for food though at the risk of waking his father up. Groaning quietly, Red tossed the covers off his legs, and walking over to his desk, rubbed his eyes.

Sitting down in his desk chair, and ignoring the squeaking noise it made in protest of all his weight being thrown down on top of it, Red rubbed the keypad on his computer, restarting it. After a minute, the red screen came back up asking for his password, and he quickly typed in the eight digit pin number he had set up.

The computer went black for a minute, before it pulled up the personalized screen, a picture of his group of friends from the summer before sophomore year, along with a Google Chrome window popping up automatically. Red paused for a second, then clicked out of the window to stare at the photo.

It had all of them. Paisley refusing to be pulled into the clear water by her boyfriend, Steven, all while laughing and having a bright smile on her face. Andy and Lauren sitting on the red plaid picnic blanket, feeding each other grapes and being overly romantic. Katherine and Michael grinning at each other like crazy, squirting each other with water guns (Katherine winning indefinitely). He’s there, trying to push Nathan into the water, with the help of Ryan, who had decided to hack off his short blonde curls and get an army cut. As for who was taking the photo, that was his dad and Andy’s mother.

The day had been great, almost fairytale like, with a bright blue sky and the occasional puffy white cloud. The grass had been a vibrant green with wildflowers growing everywhere. It had been a solid eighty-two degrees the entire day, and the lake water had been somewhere around seventy-three.

Katherine had planned the entire thing, complaining that they never got to spend time together anymore, and thus making sure that everyone came, splitting the food duties up among the eleven of them. It had been one of the best days of his life, and-

A sharp knock on his window broke his nostalgia, and drew him away from the picture. Closing the laptop screen, Red leaned over his desk and pulled the window curtains back, revealing the face of the one and only, Nathan Gage.

It was by far not the first time this has happened, so the surprise was no longer there. Red simply turned the notch on the lower window, and pulled it upward just a smidge, allowing Nathan to proceed into climbing into his room.

“You know, one of these times my dad is going to figure out you’ve been doing this and cut down that tree branch.” He said, amused, as he walked back over to his bed and sat on it.

“That’ll never happen. I’d hear him beforehand.” Nathan made a confused face, causing a smile to appear on Red’s face.

“You and your werewolf powers.” Red teased, getting a small grin in response from Nathan, before it quickly slipped away, and a peculiar look of concern came over him. His own smile fell away as he realized his heart had started to race, practically dancing against his ribs. Opening his mouth, no noise came out, and within seconds, Nathan was at his side.

“It’s alright.” Nathan’s voice was suddenly quiet, and it took a moment for Red to realize that he was gripping Nathan’s shirt tightly, and Nathan’s warm hand was rubbing comforting circles on his back. “It’s alright.” The soft words continued to be whispered to him, Nathan’s voice so unusually even and mellow, but not unpleasant and certainly not unwelcome. And eventually his grip relaxed, as did his heart rate, and Red leaned against Nathan’s chest.

“I’m okay…” Red managed to say. “Don’t worry, I’m okay…” They stayed like that for who knows how long. It could’ve been twenty minutes or an hour, but Red didn’t pay attention to anything but the sound of Nathan’s heart beating and the continuous feeling of circles being drawn onto his back along his shoulder blades.

“Red,” The voice broke Red from his stupor, and Red tensed, having a pretty good idea of what Nathan was about to ask.

“Yeah?” He asked, swallowing afterward.

“Why do you smell like blood?” Nathan seemed cautious in his question, and he stopped the circular motions, leaving Red feel alone despite Nathan’s hands staying.

“It’s nothing.” Gently, Red pushed off of Nathan’s chest and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. They were a little crusted from sleep, and he grimaced, knowing he probably looked awful.

“You can tell me if something’s wrong, you know.” Nathan stared at him with such an intensity that all Red could do was look away. The stuttering of his heartbeat could be heard if he lied, and even if there’s a chance Nathan couldn’t hear, Red would know, and it was already bad enough that Nathan could smell the pain he had brought upon himself.

“I really can’t.” He argued back.

“Can’t what?” Nathan pressed in an encouraging voice.

“I can’t - I don’t know how…” Annoyed with himself and his sudden lack of speaking abilities, Red ran a hand roughly through his hair, causing it to stand up. “I didn’t know what else to do.” He murmured, his voice painfully faint.

“What?”

Red shot a glare at Nathan, knowing that his statement had been heard, but instead, Red sighed and looked down.

“I didn’t know what else to do.” He murmured again, louder this time, and mostly because he didn’t know what else to say. Minutes passed before anything else was said, and Red started counting his fingers, getting to the number ten and starting again. It was the gentle hand covering his own, and the calm voice of Nathan’s next words that made him stop.

“You could’ve called me.” There was an abundance of hurt in Nathan’s wavering voice, so much that it made Red wince. “You may be human, but you’re definitely pack.” Looking up, Red ignored the escaped tear that was rolling down his cheek. “I would’ve come right away, and if you ever feel like this again, I want - no. I need you to call me.” Red nodded, which made Nathan shake his head ruefully. “You don’t understand, Red. I need you to call me.” The emphasis on the word ‘need’ made him just stare at Nathan, somehow still noticing things that surprised him about the usually distant guy. There was so much care in Nathan’s voice, that Red found it extremely hard to reply.

“Okay.” He choked out, and Nathan’s hands moved to his shoulders. Red watched through blurry eyes as Nathan visibly relaxed.

“I won’t pester you more tonight, since you have school tomorrow, and you look really tired. But I want to talk about this when you get home tomorrow.” Nathan made a move to go, his hands dropping from Red’s shoulders, but Red grabbed his wrist, causing him to turn back around and give Red a look of confusion.

“Stay.” Red couldn’t believe what he was saying, but now it was out there, the offer hanging heavily in the air between them. But it seemed that that one word had eased all the tension in the room at once, making it easier to breath. Nathan smiled softly, and nudged off his shoes, sitting on the bed next to Red. Hesitantly turning, the two awkwardly made it to where they were both lying down next to each other, Nathan closest to the door. Red was surprised when Nathan allowed him to move slightly closer, and even more surprised when Nathan wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

“You’ll be alright.” It was the last thing he heard before he closed his eyes and fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

Author's Note

Please let me know if you see any spelling errors or grammar problems that need to be fixed.
Also, if there are any points where you'd like me to expand on a topic or add some descriptions, please leave a comment below.
Thank you so much for reading.

Reviews

[John Duprey]

Oh my god! I love it already! I'm telling you, you and I write so similarly. I absolutely love your details and the flashbacks you keeps referring back to. It gives it a nice kick! Keep going!

[Haley C]

This story pulled me in so much. Your descriptions paint a clear picture on what's going on in my mind. I feel bad for Red because he's "losing" Andy so soon after losing Lauren. I'm looking forward to reading what happens next and figuring out who Lauren is and why she's so important.