Without

To go without the best parts of life is to live in hell, so why do so many men volunteer to give it away.

                         Without  
A sad soul can kill quicker than a germ. -John Steinbeck

It's recently that I've felt like putting a bullet in my brain to stop this pain,
Going without what I used to have every waking moment has left me insane.
The smiles that could take away everything that hurt,
has been stripped away now I'm cold like standing in the snow without a shirt.
What I created is gone and now it's like it was all a dream,
I used to be a coach but now I'm without my team.
I want to cry about it every moment that I'm awake,
maybe I'll feel better afterwards wait a minute that s**t is all fake.
To lose your heart and soul is the worse feeling on the earth,
I was there for every bruise and scrape remembering being on edge for every birth.
I miss what I had and the bad thing is I'm not sure if it misses me back,
For them I would take on an army and win then be ready for the next attack.
Alone is what I am in my head, heart, and soul.
Instead of presents under the tree for me all I have is coal.
Sometimes I wish my seizures would just kill me so I won't have to cry,
It's crazy when they are over I ask God why I didn't die.
I laugh sometimes to ease that hurt that goes on in my heart,
but the pain comes back when I'm done and that's the worst part.
So until I'm with and not without the reasons why I smiled life for me is going to be slow,
If die tonight remember how much I love you La La, D-Don and Moe Moe.  

Author's Note

Cherish what you have because when you are without it your memories will be your worst enemy.

Reviews

[Mara]

so sad:(

i love this line
'Alone is what I am in my head, heart, and soul.'

Thank you for sharing!

[Dez H.]

Thank you. When I write poetry it comes straight from my heart I'm glad you liked it.

[sheandherself]

Heartbreaking. So sad, yet so beautiful. There are no words for that.

[peanut007]

Really good and describes about ure life

[Dez H.]

This is my first piece of the year I don't like it but it's been in my head eating at me like a parasite.