Haunted by Forbidden Fruit

Is it finished?

Am I done?

These days I write notes

And still feel left over gunk

Crowding over my heart space

Even my sincerest expressions

Leave me trying to save face

I don't know when my minds become so busy

I sit in bed 333 wondering when if God is still planning

Because my life has been awfully still lately

Haven't experienced too many thrills lately

And my birthday is coming up, and that's a bit triggering

Because I'm dealing with body stuff

And my ex is wanting to come to Brooklyn

But I don't feel the way I did when I was roofied

And I don't want to let anyone down

But I need something different

Something other than downtown

Like people who don't worship money

Or people who don't just want something from me

I need people who don't live a virtual reality

People who don't view their kids as a trust fund fee

I need people who see the world that I see

The brokenness, the sorrow, the anger, the greed

Not those who pretend that these things don't exist

Or those who is hide between multiple lovers and wishlists

Someone with a solid reality function

Someone who is not afraid to deal with someone who comes from nothing

I need humanity in those who come around me

Someone who is as Godly as they are clean