Something Missing

a love poem, woven from strong emotions and knit together by monophemes.

The wind sings its sad and lonely dirge

From myself I tried to purge

The ever present pain and self-hate,

But always on my soul it stayed to grate.

 

So the trees swing and the grass sways

And yet through sun my days are still gray

I say to me "why so sad, that down you lay,

That your joy no longer lingers or stays".

 

I could not point my finger on it

As to why my life was grayer than onyx

As to why, God says there is something I lack

Something that left and will not come back.

 

What is it this feeling deep inside

That humbles me and destroys my pride

I…miss…something and I don’t know what

That is why I am just s**t out of luck.

 

I am with good people and I feel no happiness

I am eating good food and it tastes like ash

I am with God and only with him feel blessedness

I am doing good work and it feels like trash.

 

Yes something is missing within me,

My heart longs for something dearly

It beats slowly and out of tune,

Is it that it looks for the light of the moon?

 

Does it long for the stars on a rich dark night?

Does it long for the birds frozen in flight?

Does it long for warm company and friends?

Does it long for healing love that mends?

 

Tell me what is it that makes the watchtower crumble

What is it that with sleep makes the sentry stumble?

In this dark of night, the sea rolls steadily and silently

As I pray that beautiful moonlight to envelop me.

 

Moonlight…that is where I find my niche

In that loving tranquility, light which,

Never fails to illuminate for me,

The arms in which I should never fail to be.

 

Moonlight and sea… I remember something!

Faded and glad, but constantly stumbling

Through mires of my own memory

A time, a place, a person with whom I was happy.

 

Sea? As in mar? Spanish for sea! echoing in me?

It echoes in wondrous waves and rumbling rolls

Undulating like light, beating constantly

Speaking of a time before love took horrible tolls.

 

Moonlight again…beckoning in my mind

Something in another language, another sign

Arabic! Perfect, that must be it!

Zari! Floating in the mind that the moon lit.

 

Almanzar…that is I, for watchtower is what it means

Moonlight and watchtowers, pieces of the puzzle

My mind reeled as if drunk from wine previously guzzled

Suddenly, I could see that the missing piece was she!

 

It was sea! It was moonlight! It was that which I tried to fight

It was she, it was that girl that had me stuck

As previously said without her, I was "s**t out of luck"

She belongs with me, I said, that is why my tears are red!

 

My tears! they are truly red!

It is because she belongs with me

But runs with others instead

I wish I could make her see

 

I wish she could understand that perhaps this is a divine plan

Seeking warmth from another friend’s arms, another man

She does not know that of me she will think until I am dust

And of her there is nothing left but the beaches’ sand

 

I will do the same; I have no choice,

Now I realize it is truly her voice

That calls to me and not another

Not sister, nor friend, nor brother.

 

Something put there by the Father

Something that shines like light and flows like water

Something that breathes like wind and aids like salve

Something that is in this heart, necessary like pump or valve

 

So I will be whom I am, a watchtower and wait

Though this love may take its toll on fate

but that is what I must do

Because I cannot stop loving you.

Author's Note

feel free to critique it and tell me what you think

Reviews

[Carole]

Yes something is missing within me,

My heart longs for something dearly

It beats slowly and out of tune,

Is it that it looks for the light of the moon?



Does it long for the stars on a rich dark night?

Does it long for the birds frozen in flight?

Does it long for warm company and friends?

Does it long for healing love that mends?

I love your choice of wording in this poem, Luis. You asked a lot of very pointed questions here also that make your reader think about the heart and what it longs for. We all have a God-shaped vacuum that only He can fill. Healing love is so powerful. In fact, I see it as being the single most powerful force in the world.
A lot of soul searching in this piece.

Thank you for sharing. Carole