I never thought to meet someone like you

It's a poem written to someone who loves and cares.

I knew that I deserve all that is best
I knew that all my dreams could turn to dust
I took the risk to fly so high
I had the courage to achieve great dreams
But little did I know
that all someone could be greatest of all
is to be someone who loves
like you

I never thought to meet
someone like you
I am inspired
to love and be with you
give you back what u're
a person like you
heart full of love
image of God
blessing to me
love of my life

Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears
Your pure heart is what makes you special
Rare like the two leaf clover
Yet I found you right here
you dominate just like the nightqueen
I was attracted from far
I heard a familiar call
I came running
I fell right into your arms
where I belong
for now and all my life

Author's Note

I am a new writer so I am just trying.what do you think of it?

Reviews

[Terrence Chang]

It is a wonderful write Connie. I liked it very much. Hope to read some more of your works soon

[Nigel Newman]

Connie Hi. Welcome to WC. My first guess is that you have sent friend requests to several people; and my second guess is that a fair number will be declined. As a general rule, WC seems to work best when people show that they're willing to read other work and make substantive helpful comments, and having this kind of track record makes it pretty easy to develop friends. Along the way, you will also see several other writers' work, some of which you'll really connect with. Actually by that point, 'friends' become less important, as you will have become part of the informal loose group of writers whose feedback you appreciate and whose work you enjoy.

Now, turning to your poem, it has some elements I like quite a lot. In the first and third 'verses' you sort of chastise yourself in the first few lines then bring it round to a merciful gentle selfless love from the 'you' in the poem. I like the first verse best, especially lines 2 & 3; 'I knew that all my dreams could turn to dust' has a great rhythm to it. And 'I took the risk to fly so high' paints nice pictures. I also like the symmetry of the 4 'I' lines at the start and then again at the end.

For me, I was looking for some sort of rhythm that would take me through the whole poem. Not every poem requires it, but it just felt to me like this one does. When I feel like that, I start playing with wording to fit what i consider to be the required rhythm. But you may disagree. May I suggest that you show it to a friend and get them to read it a couple of times then read it aloud to you. If you're happy, great. If you think it sounds a bit clunky, try adjusting the wording.

Regards
Nigel