The Initiate

Hopefully the first chapter in an ongoing story.

            And then a giant man with a massive hammer came busting through the wall next to me.

            “Why do you keep coming back?!” I yelled, not really expecting an answer.

            A purple blast of energy hurtled over my head, and I fell to the ground in panic.

            “WHAT NOW?!” I yelled to the same nobody.

            A short man with a hollow metal cylinder stood at the end of the hall.

            “Ha HA!” he called out. “Did you see that doc? This stupid son of a b***h works after all!”

            Hammer Man sniffed the air awkwardly, grinned, then turned to Shorty.

            “Trouble with your tech junior?” he said menacingly.

            “I was hoping you’d find him too,” Shorty called back. “But lay off, we saw him first!”

            “Your eyes must be getting tired. I’ve been chasing him for a week.”

One week ago.

            And then a giant man with a massive hammer destroyed the cotton candy stand next to me.

Present day.

Yup, that much was true.

“Aw doc, come on!” He paused for a minute, looking frustrated. “What do you mean you thought he was wrong?! D****t, we don’t have time for this!”

I looked up just long enough to see another blast of energy land in Hammer’s chest. He looked unfazed.

“That was cute, but I’ll be taking him now.”

He reached a giant hand towards my puny head. I cowered back in fear and closed my eyes. I felt blood begin to run out of my nose.

            “What? How?” Shorty was talking to himself again. “When did I install settings?... D****t, eyes, if I want you to tinker with my s**t I’ll let you know, but until then, I don’t want a single thing hit with this cannon to still be standing… I don’t care about government funding, I care about recruitment!.. You know what, that’s enough outta you. You’re off the team.”

            I opened my eyes to find a giant hand in the same place it was when I closed them. Hammer Man was frozen in place, paralyzed and unmoving like a statue. Something grabbed my hand and I jumped backwards as far as my wobbly legs would take me.

            “What the HELL are you DOING?!”

            Shorty stood near me with a friendly hand outstretched. The other hand had his cannon in it.

            “Savin’ you from a life of horrible and diabolical crime.”

            I took two deep breaths which did almost nothing to calm me down.

            “Lemme stop ya before ya start askin’ questions. I’m Brain, I’m with the good guys, and if you don’t move right now, I swear to science you’re going to die.”

            I jumped into his tiny arms like a damsel in distress as a hammer crushed the ground where I stood only a moment ago. He dropped me almost immediately.

            “Have some dignity man.” He fired another shot from his cannon into Hammer’s chest before shouting, “Now let’s go!” and taking off down the hall.

            I ran after him, turning several corners and running down a staircase before running into Brain’s back.

            “D****t, this door is locked. We’ll have to use the window,” he said, before jumping out the window.

            “Right! The window!” I said, before jumping out the window.

            It was at this moment that I remembered I was on the 40^th floor of my office building. It was in the moment directly after that that I began crying hysterically as I plummeted to my imminent death. Luckily, in the moment after that, an octopus caught me about thirty stories down and pulled me into the blue hovering plane it was sitting in.

            “Are we ready, sir?”

            “Cargo is on board, captain. Shut up, eyes,” the octopus said as it morphed into a large golden retriever.

            The captain snickered from the front of the plane.

            “You too, Jack. Can we please just get out of here?”

            “Of course, sir. Right away, sir.”

            “For the last time,” the dog said frustrated, “call me Steve.”

            I passed out.