When I Fall

What becomes of me when I die...what will I have accomplished?

When I fall, will I decay
A whispered word, to blow away
A legacy, lost to the past
A memory, ne'er built to last

When I leave, will I be lost
A grain of sand, a speck of dust
A bitter breath, a heaving sigh
A final chance, to say goodbye

When I die, what becomes of me
Will I have fulfilled, my destiny
Done it all, with scars to show
I'm still alive, so nobody knows

Tomorrow, what becomes of you
Another day, to start anew
The past is gone so let it rest
Be yourself and do your best

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Draven,

I read a half dozen or so of your poetry this morning. Very nice work. I'll not comment on them all, but I will write a few reviews on the ones that I think are especially worthy, like this one, "When I Fall".

While there can always be improvements in the writing in a piece (and my work is no exception), I would have to say that with rare exception there is nothing much to say that would be constructive in improving the pieces that I'm going to review. I would say that it is totally up to you how to improve your work. I'm sure that with continued reading, chipping away, and remolding the pieces will become ever better.

Now to this poem specifically. I find the introspection of the piece wonderful. Perhaps that's because I write of similar stuff. Nonetheless, the questions you raise are the ultimate human concern and have driven Man's beliefs and spilled over into all of his Life's efforts since the beginning. Thank you for painting such a wonderful picture of these "wonderings".

Kudos!

Kind regards,

Rick

[Angela ☄️]

Very momental....it catches my attention. :3

[Nik Dendera]

"Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?"

This echoes that poem, in a way.

Nice flow, really slips off the page with ease and grace. Personally, all I know I leave behind is my DNA and maybe a few memories, and even they will fade in time. Nothing is perminant, not even the words we write. One could say that there is no point, but as humans and creatures of habit, we still throw ourselves into the void in the vain hope that we will mean something to someone.

I'm not about that much on here, so send a read request for anything and I'll read it when I'm online.