Loss

The day comes with its own problems ,

You try to fill it the best you can.

Try to remain busy,

To shut out any thoughts,

Thoughts that try and wrap themselves around you,

Try suffocating you like a poisonous vine.

 

If only you can, not think.

If only you can, not realise,

That your world is irrevocably damaged,

Permanently scared and deeply wounded.

You dont even know if you will pull through or not.

 

Suddenly, without warning,

A memory,

A feeling,

A thought,

Something intrudes into your mind,

To bring you back to the stark cold reality of loss.

 

Excrutiating pain rips your very being apart,

You think you can't possibly survive another second.

Your body is wracked with tears

You are an exhausted mess.

Your head is splitting in two.

The futility of your tears

Bitterly let you know,

No amount of crying,

No amount of screaming,

No amount of pleading

Or bargaining,

Is going to bring your loved one back.

 

Your mind struggles to comprehend this new reality.

It cant possibly be true....

It cant be real....

 

Then your mind,

In an attempt

To deal with the suffering,

Tricks you for a second.....

 

She was just a beautiful dream....

Is that her walking down the street.......

Did you hear her call your name........

Was that her footsteps through the house ?

 

No, screams out the bitter icy truth !

 

Will the day come when the pain is not so great ?

Will life one day continue without tears of heart rending loss ?

Will I survive this all consuming despair ?