Look, I'm sorry I said those things

Look, I’m Sorry I said Those Things

I didn’t mean it
Can I write you a poem
Can you help me forget 

We walked through Target and picked through the last of the notebooks and you showed me which trash can you bought for your new life and I tried not to cry or think about the fact that in five days you would be five hours away again

“Kleenex, lots of Kleenex” you said as you pulled out a folded list from your pocket
“You keep your list in your pocket?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I see it?”

Shampoo
Razors
Lotion
Collapsible umbrella

Fast forward a year from now
I am holding your collapsible umbrella over your head on our way to class
I will get sick of this eventually and
I will shove all of my things 
into my tiny car and move them 
to a tiny apartment in the city 
where I can roll over in the middle of the night and find you 
next to me habitually please 
please make it a habit

rewind we are in the present. f**k
2:57am 2013
“hi it’s me can I trust you?
even if you go to a party?
yeah but you’re sober right now
so how do you know?
Look maybe we shouldn’t do this
you’re like the only good thing
I have right now and having
one good thing is way more frightening
than having no good things”

please, don’t make this a habit.

I’m sorry, I tried to keep
all of this under my skin
but s**t like thats corrosive. 
look I didn’t mean it 
I’m god damn in love with you
I’m just god damn afraid 
h
 e
  l
   p
m
 e

2:57am 2016
shake shake shake
you roll over and your curly hair is
f****n’ everywhere 
“I’m sorry, I tried to keep 
all of this under my skin but
s**t like this is corrosive
s**t like this keeps me up at night
s**t like this makes me shake
s**t like this makes me lose my keys
s**t like this makes me forget to eat
m
 a
  r
   r
    y
m
 e

please please
let me make you a habit