Broken Angel

I dunno. Sometimes, the rush of words in my brain must be let out....They cry for freedom often. Here are some of them.

PR: wait...  I: wait...  L: wait...  LD: wait...  I: wait... wait...  CY: wait...  I: wait...  L: wait...  YCat: wait...  I: wait...  Top: wait...  I: wait...  L: wait...  C: wait...  SD: wait...

Broken evil,

Angel so bruised,

Either way it went,

One had to lose.

And so wings have shattered,

Feathers all lost,

Sacrifice to save one,

But at what cost?

No healing left for you now,

Bloodied, and so torn,

Nothing to do but feel the pain,

And to sorrow and mourn.

Maybe tears will purify,

Saline will burn dark away,

And wings shall be whole again,

To fly another day.

 

Reviews

[DF]

Very nice poem and beautifully written. The words get a little tangled with each other in the last half of the poem mainly with these lines:
"Bloodied, and so torn,
Nothing to do but feel the pain,
And to sorrow and mourn."
What if you take out the "so" before torn? Could you use single word for "feel the pain?" Maybe "suffer." You wouldn't lose any of the meaning and the words would flow a little better. Just a suggestion, but overall I really enjoyed the poem. Good job.

DF

[*Rain*]

In response to the comment by DF, I wanted to say that the poem isn't supposed to be read that way, it's supposed to be read with the lines in question broken up like this:
"No healing left for you now,

Bloodied, and so torn,

Nothing to do but feel the pain,

And to sorrow and mourn."
That's how the rhythym in my head goes when I read it, and that's how it went when I wrote it. Just so ya know.