Answer Genius - The Game Show

Answer Genius - The Game Show

A Stage Play by Earl Schumacker

Where everyone is a genius


Answer Genius - The Game Show

(That's My Answer Take It Or Leave It)

Welcome to the relativism game show where everybody knows the questions, "Answer Genius.”

Hello everybody!  I'm your host Smiley Face and here are our contestants, John, Mary and John. Since there are so many Johns on stage today we will call them John 1 and Not John 1. We will call Mary anything we want to. We might even call on her for answers.

First question: Who is buried in Grants tomb? (Not John 1 buzzes in.) Answers: “The Mormon Tabernacle choir.”

Smiley announces; “Close enough.” “You are awarded 5 points.” You could have also answered, “It does not matter.”

2nd. Question: What number comes before zero and after two. It goes by the name of one and is known as the number one? Mary buzzes in, “The number one!” The host says, “Wrong answer Mike.” (remember we can call Mary anything we want.) Mary remarks, “I'm not Mike!” “I'm Mary.” “I'm a woman.” The host responds, “Whatever you say Nancy.”

Smiley says,“The correct answer is the number one.” Mary says,” but I just said number one” The host turns to the studio audience and says, “Tell the thick one over there to listen up.” He admonishes her, “Polly you said the relaxive passive number one.” “The right answer is the reflective relative number one.”

Mary, Sally, Jane Doe or whatever she is continues to protest. Smiley says, “Judges?” The judges buzz in “No.” Smiley Face tells her to slap herself. She complies.

Question 3: What is Grant's last name? John 1 buzzes in, “One”

Smiley frowns- says, “No!” “Wrong answer.” “The answer is Grant.” “Mr. John 1 you will have to be penalized for giving one as your answer.” “One has already been used in the game.” “It can not be used again in the same game.”

At that moment Hugh Grant enters the stage, pulls out a loaded gun, shoots John 1 between the eyes and smiles at the studio audience. The remains of the recently departed contestant are swept off the stage by two midgets dressed in white. Mr. Grant will take the place of the recently deceased.

Smiley Face welcomes Hugh Grant to the game.

Question 4: What is the pope's name? Hugh Grant buzzes in, “Pope!....No...I mean number one!”

Smiley says, “Is that your final answer? Hugh says, “Yes!” “One is the right answer.”

The host says, “Wrong answer.” “The answer is pope.” “You should have stayed with your first guess.”

The show ends because you can't kill celebrities on live TV.  The studio audience applauds any way.

Note: Grant's Tomb (as it is commonly called) is both the final resting place of General Ulysses S. Grant and a memorial to his life and accomplishments. His wife, Julia Dent Grant, also is entombed-not buried-there.

© 2017 Earl Schumacker

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Posted 4 Years Ago

Earl Schumacker

4 Years Ago

Hi Cait, Thank you so much. I appreciate your commenting. Glad you liked it. Earl

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1 Review
Added on May 30, 2017
Last Updated on May 30, 2017
Tags: relativism, fun, game, entertainment, logic, celebrity, facts


Earl Schumacker
Earl Schumacker

Atlantic City, NJ

B.A. Degree in Literature and Language. I enjoy writing short stories, poetry, novels and keeping up with new scientific discoveries. I enjoy philosophy and Art appreciation. more..