Are You Smarter Than A 5th. Potato?

Are You Smarter Than A 5th. Potato?

A Story by Earl Schumacker
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Game show smarts

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Are You Smarter Than A 5th. Potato


Are You Smarter Than A 5th. Potato is the best show on TV at 5:00 pm weekdays. At 6:00 pm there is nothing on.


Question 1.) True or False

Mary crashes her airplane into the left side of a mountain at 6:00 pm on Thursday. Is she dead or alive?

Answer: She lent the plane to her friend Janice so Janice is most likely no longer with us any more. Additionally; Mary was running after a red rubber ball in the middle of her street where she lived, (Notice how I said “lived”...past tense) when a speeding bus hit her instead of the brakes. She too is no longer with us.

The real question is; Why is Janice, a 10 year old girl, flying a plane without a pilot's license or adult supervision in the first place?


Question 2.) Does Johnny milk the cow or say “Holy cow!?” The answer is Both. It is his first time at this activity.

Question 3.) Is it proper to eat hamburgers in India? There is no wrong answer. (Well maybe there is but I wish to be controversial.)

Question 4.) Mary and Janice jump off a very tall building together on Friday. They both are holding one of those pretty little colorful paper umbrellas that you see in the glass in cocktails at the bar. The umbrellas are open as they fall. They are wearing matching pink dresses with yellow polka dots and there is a light breeze coming in from the west. Do they live or die? This one I will leave up to your imaginations. And yes. It is the same 10 year old Mary and Janice. Go figure.


*At the end of the show the contestants are required to look into the camera and say, “My name is such and such.” “I might be a Nobel prize winner in Mathematics and Literature but I am not smarter than a 5th. Potato.”


My only response is; “My name is Earl.” “I am probably as dumb as my name sounds.” I watch 7 minutes of commercial ads and maybe 2 minutes of the show between commercials.” “I pay Comcast and Xfinity over $100.00 every month to watch basic TV with tons of commercials.” “That makes me a person with an IQ of 2 clicks below a carrot and yes, I am dumber than a 5th., 6th. And even a 7th. Potato.

Don't touch that dial!


Here is a clip or link to the actual TV Show- Are You Smarter Than a 5th. Grader (not to be confused with my potatoes, couch or otherwise.) It is also easy to find on YouTube.


https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=are+you+smarter+than+a+5th+grader+youtube&docid=608033644005100816&mid=2ED26CBF4EE45B8756262ED26CBF4EE45B875626&view=detail&FORM=VIRE


© 2019 Earl Schumacker


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53 Views
Added on March 21, 2019
Last Updated on March 21, 2019
Tags: Game show, TV, judgement, fun, silly

Author

Earl Schumacker
Earl Schumacker

Atlantic City, NJ



About
B.A. Degree in Literature and Language. I enjoy writing short stories, poetry, novels and keeping up with new scientific discoveries. I enjoy philosophy and Art appreciation. more..

Writing