Waking Up Is Anxiety

A piece of depression

Waking up is anxiety

I’m dying fast and slow

My heart is trying to escape

My lungs are collapsing

Waking up is anxiety

Drowning is what waking up is like

Drowning, even though I’m not underwater

Waking up is anxiety

It’s hot, so hot, too hot,

It’s an endless heat in water

a lake of fire

the hell in the stories used to frighten children

Waking up is anxiety

I’m in pain

I want to throw myself into the ocean

even though there are sharks

Let them get me & devour the pain

Waking up is anxiety

Everything hurts, especially my brain

I want to rip myself to pieces so I can breathe

because being alive is painful and I’m in pain

This is why sometimes waking up is anxiety

But I am grateful to be up most days

I think? Or am I?

I don’t remember. Or I don’t know anymore.

There’s too many days when waking up makes me anxious.

© Eden Dawson, 2022

Author's Note

feedback appreciated

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

As one who suffers from depression you capture exactly what every day feels like during its cycle. At times it's not even worth getting out of bed because of how powerful the anxiety hits. Thank you for sharing your poem with us.