The gardener

I wrote this about a good friend that is in a bad place

Dreadfully she arises from bed
Unrestful sleep adds misery
She wonders when it will stop
This tornado of pain
She has her garden
This brings her peace
Showing her
A new
Life 

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Thank, God for gardens! they remind us of change and renewal. You are the nonnet queen!

[EileenMarie]

Thank you :)... Yes I'm stuck in Nonnet heaven right now... Find it so easy to express myself in this form

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Thank you for the introduction to it!

[Helena]

Gardening is indeed a therapeutic occupation when one is unwell. I do hope your friend keeps finding solace and finally peace, as your poem stated so well.

[EileenMarie]

thanks so much! I find tending my flower garden distracts me and helps me stay positive as well

[Marie]

Well, she's not in such a bad place if she can still enjoy her garden.

[EileenMarie]

Thanks ... Her garden is her most peaceful place!

[caesarkreshen]

hmhmhm!!

A lot of lines I think could be just changed slightly.

You could do like RISES or RESTLESS or Life anew.

I am a big fan of short poetry, and I was just writing about gardening. IT MUST BE FATE. Seriously, though, such tiny things as I listed really change the flow of a poem.

Sometimes even a "a" as in the "a" in arises can really obstruct your opening line. I mean you can totally re-arrange this, if you wanted. I like all of the words and ideas just switch them around.

[EileenMarie]

Thank you! It's a Nonnet which is 9 lines down to 1 9 syllables down to 1 so its a bit restrictive in word selection.. I should focus on other styles I guess :)

[Marie]

I really must try this myself.

[caesarkreshen]

blah, be creative. Get out your calculator.

[EileenMarie]

Ha ha lol math is definitely not my strong suit.., I can get a theasarus :)I know play more with words.... I wish I could be better thinking outside the box!!

[caesarkreshen]

Syllables are fun to play with. I often go through and count syllables in my writing and separate it by rhyme and relating word to see what my mind is doing subconsciously. I'm one of those people who thinks if you think too much you're not really expressing. Anyway, yeah. Have fun.

[Marie]

My usual writing is short, tightly scanned verse, and I count every syllable.