I miss you (The you I made in my head)

Its been practically a month 

and a half

since I heard your last snarky remark

saw your last awkward smile

experienced your last embrace 

I might be better off not experiencing you again

but some annoying part of me 

can’t help but think

I wish everything wouldn’t have gone to s**t

I miss the future you

you could have been

and miss the pretend you

that didn't let things fall apart

I miss the you 

I made up in my head

I want to forgive all your 

careless words and

thoughtless actions

just so I can have that idea of you back

I want the us that ate out at Curry House

with your mom

that had sarcastic conversations 

the us that made out in your car, and got starbucks after 

we were always almost happy

But no matter how hard I tried 

we were never really there

because it was only me putting in the work

I don’t regret the choices I made

you were the sweetest fantasy I ever had

and trying to make myself into your man

was one of the most enjoyable journeys I’ve ever taken 

But I'm tired 

of trying to make things better

all on my own 

I don’t have the energy anymore 

to spit poison at you 

I won't make you into the bad guy anymore

our story ended a month and a half ago

and I have to remember that 

I miss you

even if you don’t miss me 

so i’ll keep my memories 

and you can keep your freedom 

Reviews

[PoeticChico]

oh wow! I dont know what to say, how to even react.

This line broke my heart to pieces: "I miss the you I made up in my head"

thanks for sharing such a personal and vulnerable piece, sending lots of love your way!