Gallows Humour

Inspired by a quote from the intro video for Eddie Izzard's act Dress To Kill. It's is about a person looking back at their life and torment of past events as they look death in the eye.

I walk towards my longing, my reason to rejoice

My choice, humor me and cheer as I

Laugh and smile, cheery eyed,

No melancholy, fallen angels die.

Grown my wings to learn to fly,

Flew too close to the sun and I

learned how to fall, burning wings,

False assumptions are horrid things.

I drowned, helpless screaming,

Not a sound.

People watched and people swore

"I will never ever soar"

They were wrong, "I must be strong."

are the words I should have heard.

I lie dismantled and disturbed,

I should have told them all to wait and see.

I rose, like a god, triumphant pose,

blew my scars a wave and kiss goodbye.

Even though they were sad to leave,

I need them not to mislead, deceive,

the purpose I intend to carry out.

Drought, sandy dunes of hateful thoughts of how

and why? Why should I take care of what isn't mine?

To keep unpleasant dreams away when I'm asleep.

I feel like I need to think of ways to sink in deep,

away! I need a quiet place to stay

and rest, to test my ever dying thirst for silence,

Sweet deceit, offers and immunity

to love and joy, a human heart a child's toy.

I think not! Things would have been different if I fought

the sands, and once again would populate the lands

with thought of nothing but the people that would bring,

and sing, with them lives and joyous paradise.

And I could sleep once more with nightmares,

terrified to wake and face the earth.

Birth, a new beginning to an end,

we are born to die and lies defend,

Now, with great regret I tell you how

this great tragically deformed mistake

can be put to dine with ghosts of old.

Cold, my blood will carry life no more throughout my corpse,

As I lie, limp, not moving, shivering.

I wanted to deprive myself of that,

dreaded thing we all think had,

a potential to bring happiness upon us all.

The rope is but another path to hope,

A friend when no one else had heard my pleas.

Disease, I can't get out without the keys!

Please! Help me fly with the Angels high,

Above, the Dove, white with lies that it had swallowed whole.

Time will pass and take its toll on me.

Free? Free I'll never be!

Unless I take this chance I waited for,

the door! A portal to the freedom that I need!

My carelessness was but a weakened creed.

I cannot stand the fact I bare this seed,

and my pride, it beckons me to choose,

I must decide.

I'll need to be alone to think this through.

I think I'll say goodbye and follow you.

Now in the dark I stare at fire lit.

To free myself I'm willing to admit.

To free myself I'm willing to admit.

To free myself I'm willing to submit.

Author's Note

Any tips/criticism would be greatly appreciated.