this country, and that country

not a poem

i was there

and now i'm here

it's so simple

a few hours

and my life changes

between night and day

my mind changes

and the world is different

i try and fit myself into those spaces i used to fill here

suppressing what i've been through

and the worlds my mind has tapped into

how i have danced

sung

kissed 

made love

laughed

made friends

created

grown

expanded 

I try and put these feelings and experiences into the dark corners

and narrow cracks

of my mind

hoping they will stay still

silent and invisble

until i allow them to run wild again

and i drink there because it's life all around me and

the night

the night is your lover

and anything can happen

and i drink here because of boredom

trying to evoke emotions 

in the absence of natural intoxications

not knowing how long i can do this